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Im a oxy addict, needing some advice

Im a 30 year old male. I have multiple sclerosis. In 2008 I started taking 10mg percocet, every once in a while, maybe 2 pills a week. My disability stopped, my insurance stopped. So I got pills when NEEDED from people I know.

In 2012 I met my ex, we lived together 2 years, she helped me with everything. I loved her so much, she eventually grew tired of having to help so much as I got worse with my MS.  She left. I was devastated and depressed, and then I began a downward spiral of taking pills, 1-2 a day, then 3-4 a day. Now I was up to over 80mg a day, sometimes 120 mg. I was getting pills from everyone I could, threats, and the people I was getting them from know I have a problem, but I worried them so much about pills they gave in. I took more and more. Last week these people left the state for vacation, I dont know anyone else with pills.

It is now Wednesday. I took my last two 7mg pill I had gotten Sunday night. It is now day three of having no pills, I have had no symptoms or withdrawals other than my mind telling me get a pill. I know that I cant, so I forget about it. I do not want to take pills anymore.

I guess my question is, what is going on with me, should I not be throwing up, and chills? Its day 3, what is going on? I haven't had a pill in 71 hours now. I feel blessed with this opportunity, but I don't understand it. I'm not a person of faith.
14 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi... and welcome to the forum.....well you should be in the jaws of withdrawal on day 3  but some times we get people with a ''get out of jail free card'''  it is unexplainable but every so often we do get people that have little or no withdrawals.....give God a high five and praise him for your  deliverance from this you truly are blessed.......Gnarly
Avatar universal
I just dont understand it, ive been taking over 50mg up to 100mg a day for over 3 years. Somedays Ive taken 12, never more than 12 100mg pills due to the tylenol. No withdraws, what so ever. I did have some cramping, and loose stool, but my girlfriend did to, I think it was the ghost pepper taco bell grillers haha
Avatar universal
This is as much mental as physical... I say forget it all and embrace how your feeling now!! Take it and run w it!!
13565897 tn?1430515982
Well Bro, maybe with all your struggles you get to " Pass" and move on but someone on the forum once said " if I had a penny for every addict that ran out and wanted to quit" you have to really want to quit because if you were taking 120mg a day it was either for pain or to get high?? and the addict part is still there even though you have no WD issues what happens when you ( friends ) come back from vacation that's the big question.
11318065 tn?1462984479
Hurray for you!!!
You sure do sound like one of the lucky ones as far as your detox!!  I too had a much easier time than I had it built up to be in my mind before I started.  But it still wasn't pleasant and had a good month before the energy began to come back.
So like Gnarly says "some times we get people with a ''get out of jail free card'''   Enjoy that gift...don't question it!!!
It sure can be the mental that trips us up so strengthen yourself for when that happens!!!
  Oh heck, just go eat some more ghost taco bell grillers!!!!  :)
4898964 tn?1381257899
I think it might be important to consider that no two withdrawals are the same.  They get progressively worse...  Don't let this give the impression that it can be repeated without consequences.  I'd lay money that it's not the case...  Withdrawal is the easy part, staying clean is what is difficult.  Thankfully you're through the easy bit with no pain, make sure you look into what has been causing the use in the first place and do some soul searching.  

Peace and light.
Avatar universal
I wouldn't even call it a get out of jail free card. With a lot of is,it's them nasty a$$ w/d's that's part of what keeps us clean. You're still going to have to deal with the mental part,and really that's the hard part. Now when these ppl get back from vacation what are you going to do? Are you clean because you want to be or because you are S.O.L and can't get any right now? I'd recommend staying off,and staying away from these ppl. But that's your choice. Good luck man. Wish you the best!!
Avatar universal
Another morning has passed. I still feel pretty great, i just have a little headache and stuffy nose, but I take allergy pills daily, and have not had any for 3 days. So that may be why. Thank everyone for your words
Avatar universal
Well, really, the only reason my habit got out of control in the first place, well, the reason IT HAS BEEN out of control is because I didnt want to have WDs. But however, I stopped because I dont have any pills at first, but now that im on day 5, and feel great. Im now choosing to stay off of them for myself.
13565897 tn?1430515982
Right on!! I wish you the best just be sure to stay clear of your contacts for a while or you have a HUGE chance to fall back in the trap.
Avatar universal
Does anyone think it is possible for someone, who was taking as much as I was a day, and just took it because i felt I had to, I used to have to take it just for pain,but..it happens to the best of us to fall into that rabbit hole. Anyways, is it possible for me to stop for a 1-2 weeks, and take only what I need to for my REAL pain? Thats the question, I want to stop taking pills just because I want to, but on the other hand I still have pain, that oxy is the only thing that helps? I want be able to take them as I should, but I dont want to take them if its not possible for someone who IS a addict to take them like that? Sorry if that does not make sense. I feel I have the will power to only open that bottle if I really have a need for it?
Avatar universal
Ray:

I'm a bit confused.  You want to know if you can be trusted to take the percocet only when you need it...is that right?

The answer isn't black and white, unfortunately.  You're barreling down a slippery slope and I am worried for you.   You were taking up to 120 mgs a day of oxycodone a day, and you were taking it for the high.   Then you stopped, and for some idiosyncratic reason, you didn't suffer a ton of withdrawals.  In a way that is good, but it is also bad.    

Oxy is incredibly addicting; you have definitely crossed the line from use to abuse, and it is nothing to toy with.

Also, percocets contain acetaminophen.  The max toxicity level is 3000 mgs a day.  More than that and you are stressing your liver.

And...finally..you are taking them illicitly, meaning without a valid prescription from a doctor (is their a reason you didn't ask your physician to address your pain issues?)

Sigh..I didn't really answer your question; I don't know that anyone could.  Everyone is different, but the one thing a lot of us on here have in common is that we started taking opiates for pain, and before we knew it, we were dependent/addicted.   For most of us, controlled use is really hard.  It usually involves having someone hold the pills for you and only give you the prescribed amount (which, as I mentioned a few sentence ago, is an issue because you're taking these w/o benefit of a medical evaluation.)

Maybe someone will have a better answer than me.  Sorry!
Avatar universal
I understand what you are saying. But I do have multiple sclerosis which I have helped from a company to get my Avonex free of charge while I have no insurance. However, that does not help my pain, Ive taken Lyrica, Gaba, and other different medications for my pain. Didnt help AT ALL. I had medicaid, I was going to my Neuro and Pain Doctor for over 2 years, I was given prescriptions for oxy. 90 10s per month. The problem was I didnt have 180$ a month to continue going to my pain doctor a month when I lost my medicaid. I cant work, some days I have a hard time getting off the bed. Of course I do have good days.

Every time I had a flare up I would goto the ER because I dont have insurance. Then would give me a shot of dilaudid and send me home with 20 5mg pills, when they would run out, I would go back, but they can only do that for me for so long, eventually, doctor came in and said I needed to do something else because after that visit they couldnt prescribe me anymore narcotics, they have my records, they know I wasnt lieing about pain, now hear me out, this was WAY before my addiction was out of hand, at this time I only took pills as needed.

I got pills from a anonymous person I know, when I couldn't get them from the doctor, again, this is only taking pills as needed.

My fiance and I broke up, then began my spiral into taking more and more pills. Mainly because they just put my mind in a better place.

I have still been taking pills, sometimes roxy or oxyapap, whatever I could get, for free from people who love me, but see, these people who love me, can only do so much, they know I have a problem, as well as I know I have a problem. I want to stop abusing pills. What I was taking is way to much. Im aware of that!

My mind and heart are in a much better place now, im happy, im happy without pills, but I still hurt like a #[email protected]!#$ ... everyday, nothing takes away the pain but oxy. That is my point, and I dont know what to do about when I have real pain. Unbearable pain, everyday.

I have been waiting pills since Monday, im perfect, no withdrawals. I haven't had the first nausea episode, or diarrhea. No sweats, no anything. Not even a runny or stuffy nose.

My concern now, lets say, in a month from now, and im in horrible pain from my MS, or have a kidney stone which I get often. Or anything, I can fall and break my leg. Would it be safe for me to take any opiate, if I can fully trust myself to not abuse them. I will have MS until I pass away, there is no way I will ever be able to live the rest of my life, and im 30 without having some sort of pain management. Even if I get a prescription, and have my loved ones keep them for me.

Maybe this cleared up what I meant. Thanks for everyones advice.
Avatar universal
Ray:  I'm not sure I understand.  Without being too nosy, why would you lose your Medicaid?  Are you on SSDI?  Is so, you can qualify for Medicare.

If you are a lifelong pain patient, then you may indeed have to take these pills, but they should be from a doctor, and since you have history of taking more than you should, having someone you absolutely TRUST to hold the pills is a good idea.

Good luck honey..
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