I'm so Embarrassed but please tell me if you do it too.

[skydove]

I guess picking would be a form of self injury too. As gross as it is and as gross as it sounds, here I go... I will find little pimples on my body and I will pop or pick them. Then they turn red and ugly so I am mad and pick them more. I don't even know when I'm doing it sometimes. My necklace broke me out because I'm allergic to cheap jewelry. Its been 3 weeks now and my neck and face look like I do crystal meth. Which I have never done. or at least I don't think I've ever done.  anyway, when I pick it hurts and the more it hurts the more I do it. How frickin retarded is that? I just want to know I'm not the only one. I can go months with out picking at all. Then I just get so engrossed in picking and pain................

[Sixfooter87]

You are NOT alone! Thank you fot being brave enough to post about it! I'm in the same boat. I have been on mid-level narcotics (hydrocodone/tramadol/butrans/etc)for four or five years for fibromyalgia and various joint and bone problems, most notably my spine. Don't feel alone! I am currently struggling with the same problem, but my mother thinks I'm into some kind of street drug like crystal meth.

She lives far away, but we've literally stopped talking recently because she claimed that she "knew my secret" and if I wanted to get MRSA and kill myself I might as well just OD and get it over with... (she's a *teensy* bit dramatic)

I realize it can be a symptom of narco abuse, but it is also a psychological distancing device (often exacerbated by drugs)... I also have a history of childhood abuse, though-like a lot of us with chronic pain and/or narcotic habits.

My doc says the "picking" is something we use to 1) cause ourselves pain that may or may not be visible to others 2) an excuse to isolate ourselves if we are doing it in visible places 3) to keep ourselves from having shame-free experiences (ie; you can't flirt with someone or even have a conversation with another person without feeling ashamed that you look like you do crystal meth, as you said..) 4) keep ourselves from looking our best because we don't "deserve" to look or feel good in our own minds.

All of those don't apply to everyone, and apparently you do not need to have a history of abuse to fit into that set of criteria, but I do the same thing... I have scars on my shoulders and upper arms from the same thing and my face is wrecked because I had cystic acne after I was pregnant and it was at its worst then...

I am home recouping from the major surgery I had 4 weeks ago and haven't let anyone in for a few days because I picked like crazy a few days ago.(been in a house alone for 2.5 weeks... Can't drive, and I quit smoking... Starting to feel nuts!)

My point is you're NOT alone & I don't have OCD-I have ADD and fibromyalgia, and I've been on narcotics for years... Oddly enough, birth control seems to level me out-and I have stopped it for my surgery or I wouldn't have felt that urge as much-maybe its hormones + narcotics? Either way, I usually do it more often when I live alone, and way more when I am knowingly going to be isolated for a few days ...  (weekends, long breaks from work, etc) the birth control takes it WAY down, probably because it eliminates 80-90% of the pimples and helps tone down any mood swings I have. I don't take it with a week break though, my doc has me on it without a break because it causes too much fluctuation in my medication needs and my hormones...

Thanks for posting-hopefully the hazy post-op post made sense and made you feel a little less "on your own"?

[GA Guy]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but I think you're more into self-mutilation than OCD. OCD is caused by chemical imbalances that cause obsessive behaviors. It sounds to me that you're enjoying the pain aspect. Self mutilation is actually very common in addicts. It's another way of dealing with the pain of our past. Self mutilators usually have a history of abuse in their past. It's also very treatable with a medications or therapy (or both).

[narla]

I have also had the picking,but I've been really good lately,probably a couple of years,I have scarring all over my arms and legs,I am having some laser treatment to help with the scarring.I also used to bite my nails so low they would bleed and be so sore I had to take pain killers just to sleep,my fingers would throb from the pain,I fixed the nail problem by getting acrylic nails so they are too hard to bite now.

Denise

[badshadow]

Hi, I agree with Laurel, it is a type of Obsessive/Compulsive behavior.  You could try the old "Rubber Band Around the Wrist" technicque, and when you feel like picking, just snap the rubber band against your wrist.

I have this habit of when I'm going to sleep at night, I'll start rubbing a little spot on my head.  This will go on for a few days in a row, but only at night when I am going to sleep.

Eventually, it starts to feel a little sore and then I like rubbing it even more.  I've never rubbed a sore into my head because in a few days I forget about it.

There are alot of different behaviors that people do to themselves, but if you are "harming" yourself with your behavior then you might want to seek help.

[laurel453]

Yes, you are the only one !!


Nah, don't worry, whatever we might be doing, be sure we are not alone :) It is not retarded, i would think it is some kind of obssesive behaviour and if it is a problem for you or you can stop hurting yourself, you can always ask for help, therapy.....

i have seen here some threads about it, you could search and see them, ok ? good luck.

[IBKleen]

Are you still taking Suboxone?