I'm sorry to continue bothering you all, need an answer PLEASE!

[EmbarrassedK]

Hello everyone, good morning(not for me though). I'm sure many of you have seen some of my posts. In case you haven't, I am trying to detox from Percocet. I started Sunday evening. I was normally on anywhere from 6-8 10mg pills a day. I was doing well, then I slipped up on what should have been day 3 for me and took 1 10mg pill at 5am yesterday. Today, which should have technically been day 4 for me, I'm in horrible physical shape. W/d are really bad, threw up twice this morning trying to take my vitamins, diarrhea, my body is aching, shaky, sweaty, etc, it goes on. My question is, is this normal 4 day symptoms or did I entirely screw myself up yesterday by that one pill? I pray that isn't the case and I know I'm the only one to blame. But I'm so sick and just hoping this is normal day 4 symptoms as opposed to starting from the beginning. Please, this is so tiring already, I know I'm expecting miracles but I didn't even have the strength to get my children ready for school this morning. Advice or opinions PLEASE!

[spider6]

Hey girl...sorry you're feeling so bad.  Typically day 3 is when you're in the thick of it......I think you just gave yourself a little delay of the inevitable (with a kick).

Don't expect miracles....if they happen ....awesome....otherwise your expectations deplete their "actuality"

They will happen....but you will least expect it....that's a miracle...something you can't control. Lol

You will be fine....you just have t hand over the captains hat to someone else you trust til you get your footings.

This is tiring...esp for you as you're so accustomed to "moving" ...."push through it"...my new fav saying......eventch your body will catch up....that, I promise.

Tude tude tude all in the tude. As soon as you notice it changing...WOOPS..changer er back ....it be work mama, bt I know you're n stranger to that.....its just another "project".

So...be ok with the "flu like symptoms"...give it a couple days....you'll see.

Much props sugar...YOU CAN DO THIS!

Spidey hugs ((((8))))

[EmbarrassedK]

I'm so disappointed in myself and fear that if that one pill set me back to day one that i will just give up. I have to be at work Monday, my children had perfect attendance and their mother screwed that up for them. I feel so defeated , I just want to give up. If I could only know that this is normal day four and tomorrow would be a better day as if I hadn't taken that pill I could push through it. I refused a whole FREE bottle of Percocets yesterday because I was so positive. But I don't think I'm strong enough to start over. And again crying and so freakn upset with myself

[Langer413]

I don't think you're back at day 1, I think with the percs you're hitting the day 3ish mark. You just delayed it a bit by taking the pill yesterday. But you can do this!! Remember what worked yesterday? You prayed for strength. Try that again. You can get through this - the worst is almost over. Push through it minute by minute. You need to keep that positive attitude you had last night! Keep posting, we're here for you!

[EmbarrassedK]

I have to say, this is by far the worst I've been in these 4 days. Day 1 slept most of the day, day 2 physical w/d kicked in, day three slipped up and took that stupid pill at 5am which "gave me life", sent my children off to school happily and then took the b6 vitamin and L-Tyrosine and PUSHED myself. W/d wasn't bad, just achy and and emotional wreck in the morning. But I made it to surprise my children at their school and ever cheered my boy on at his game, still feeling lousy, but tolerable. Today, I vomited twice and feel just like pure sh*t. My kiddos didn't even make the bus and I have no strength to drive them there. If I did set myself back, I know my weak side and I will probably give up. So sad after the hope I had yesterday

[spider6]

Sweetie, I think you're letting your head get the better of you over that damm pill.....it's not real......you're moving forward....addict brain felt a conquest yesterday,...so it's just doing more of the same that it was doing to get you to take that 1 !   Shut it out and push through it.

You're ok.

You're perception is much worse than your reality.

Much love.

[EmbarrassedK]

I honestly don't want to take the pill, I just want to know that this is normal day fourish stuff and I'm still on track, I am mentally weak, always have been, but these symptoms are definitely not in my head and I just need to know tomorrow will be a better day, considering I committed myself to a school committee meeting to advocate for the parents at the school. I truly hate this life right now.

[Langer413]

I agree with Spider - you're letting that 1 pill control your thinking. The worst will pass. It's a process and you just have to push through it. If you give up now, then all the strength you put in the past few days are for not. So take a deep breath and tell yourself you CAN get through this!

[spider6]

No of course the symptoms are real and yeas they are normal for day fourish.  Yes it will be better....sometimes it's two steps forward ,...one step back...all normal.  

[jugglin]

One pill did not set you back to day one in terms of your WD symptoms.  Spidey stated it earlier that day 3-4 is usually the thick of it and you may have just delayed some symptoms....for a few hours. I promise you that you CAN do this.  I'm sure you have read or been told on here that this is 1/2 physical and 2/3 mental.  Don't let the mental beat you back down.  

Distract your brain honey to get out of your head.  Crank your favorite music.  Watch funny tv, movies, etc.  Watch funny youtube videos.  Anything to distract you from focusing on the pills.  Do you think part of the mental issue this morning is the regret of turning down the pills last night?  Just a thought.

You are not alone in this.  So many of us have been exactly where you are.  Trust in the truth that it gets better.  After another few days you will slowly start to bounce back and will be amazed at how strong you were for getting thru this.  Keep fighting girl knowing that you are giving your kids a healthy mom who is truly present.

[jugglin]

Crap...1/3 physical and 2/3 mental...I really can do fractions.:))

[spike6095]

There are tons of old  post on withdraws, read past post and you will find all your answers, plus it will keep your mind busy while in detox.good luck and don't give up you are worth having a clean life

[EmbarrassedK]

I wish I knew how to put more than one name in the "To" box. Honestly I'm not regretting refusing the offer of free percocets, one being a whole bottle full, what I am regretting is that 1 pill I took yesterday because the way I'm feeling today is by far the WORST I've felt through this whole process and the guilt is killing me just at the thought that I set myself back even just a little. My initial goal was to take a week off work, so that by the time I returned I wouldn't be 100% but I'd be done with the withdrawals. I now understand that I have to push myself, that I will not have my energy surge. I've accepted that. It was definitely hard, but I have. My fear is that by Sunday, if I'm not feeling well enough, I will use to get through my workday and that's the LAST thing I want to do. Thank God my husband came home early to help with the children because I'm really, really not doing well. I haven't eaten since this started, I just choked down half a slice of toast just to be able to take a second dose of the L-Tyrosine to try and make it to my little ones' game today. I'm really really trying. One thing I should have mentioned before that is kind of private, is I unfortunately have bipolar II and have gone untreated for over a year and the percocets definitely helped with the mood. The reason I've gone u.treated for so long is a really long story,  but starts with a medicine I was on to control my mood gave me something else I needed multiple procedures for my back, leading to the prescription of Percocet and valium. And here we are now. What a sad life this is to live like this. Hoping after my second dose of L-Tyrosine my mood will change. Thanks for all your support. You guys are really the only people in my life who can understand what I'm going through. My husband won't even take an ibuprofen and has never had any addictions in his life, so as much as he tries to support me, sometimes it backfires and makes me feel worse. Thank you all!!!!!!

[MyhighBOTTOM]

Everyone is different when detoxing, but I would say you're in the midst of the worst of it. It WILL pass. I promise you this.  I am on day 8 clean!! I went  "CT"  off 12-14 tabs a day of 10/325 Norco for 3 long years.  One thing I remember asking myself when I decided to detox 8 days ago was...What if this was happening to my amazing daughter and she was going through this exact same thing. And, she just kept saying to me..."I just can't do it mom"  I thought to myself... what would you tell her?!?! And it hit me!! I would tell her...."YES, you can, you can do this, we will do this, it's your life we're fighting for, all will be ok, you will be ok, I love you more then anything"  That is what has gotten me to day 8!! And I feel free again! Get in contact with your healthcare professional if you can and let them know what's going on.  Cut the cord to all means of getting more pills. . NA meetings WORK!! They really do!!  I have been to one everyday since day 4 detoxing.  Hang in there!

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no one can sincerely help another without helping themselves"  Ralph Waldo Emerson

[gnarly_1]

Hi....well first off take a deep breath and try to relax a bit   your freaking out.....for most day 3 and 4 are the worst  you dident have a day 3 because your stoped the process with a pill in the morning  I have said this a million times but ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'''  this to shale pass......time to try step 2 of the 12 steps of N/A....''I came to believe that a power greater then myself can restore me to sanity'''  pray pray and pray some more  it helps   Jesus wants to set you free  all you have to do is believe  this helped me get threw methadone withdrawals there the worst I ever faced....just try to take it one hour at a time  try a hot soak to relax  rather then fight it surrender to it embrace the withdrawal it is the beginning to your new life clean   we have all been there and know what it is like   your going to have to reach down deep inside and pulll threw this   it wont kill you ...get out and go for a walk lissen to some music do something other then dwelling on how lousy you feel  keep posting for support   your almost threw the phyical part  and last  get to a n/a meeting you can share there what your going threw and they will understand.....Gnarly

[youcanyouwill]

This is normal for day 4/5. At least for me it was. At times I felt like I was at day 1 again. Keep fighting. Do you have anything to help you?

[EmbarrassedK]

Oh my goodness, you hit me where it hurt (in a good way) I've never imagined any of my children to grow up and go through what I'm going through. I literally gasped when I read what you said because it's such a scary thought. I have to live a sober life if that's what I expect and hope for my children. Wow, your words definitely were powerful and extremely motivating! Thank you!xo

[youcanyouwill]

I agree with Gnarly. Pray,pray,pray. I went thru Hydro withdrawals and methadone withdrawals.  Soaking in hot baths helps. I did many!

But the greatest of all is believing in a greater power, believing in yourself and doing it for your children. I too went to my sons game on w/d.....I was feeling like I was going to die. Shaky, sweating, chills the whole deal but I did it and you did too. Think of that and don't let that 1 pill set you back.

I did exactly the same. I thought, oh 1 won't do anything, but it did.

Keep fighting and pushing and most of all pray for strength.

Jesus said, "If you vision it, I can fulfill it"

[EmbarrassedK]

Yes, you're right I was absolutely freaking out. Throughout this process I haven't felt so bad yet, but thank God my husband came home from work to help with my children because he knew I was just not ok. It's the guilt of taking that one pill that is haunting me. I know it's time to move on and with every other emotion I have going on, guilt should come off that list. I just want this so bad and the thought that I may have screwed it up scares the life out of me. But it's hard to be ok with not being ok, when I've never had to be. I've always had to be the strong one my whole life so this weakness is killing me. I'm still determined. Still on a rollercoaster. I'm sure there will be another post with me freaking out, but this is my only outlet as of right now. Thanks for all the support!

[leahlee18]

It's funny because my husband does not take anything even iburprofen just like your husband so they definitely dont understand what we're going through.  I wish I was like my husband, he has no desire to take any of this stuff.  Did the L-Tyrosine help you?  I've been taking DLPA but I don't know if it's helping or not...doesn't seem to be.  I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy.  I have to honestly say I wouldn't think taking just 1 pill would have set you back that much, in my opinion.  Maybe you would be feeling this way even if you didn't take the pill.  After reading so many posts, day 3 and 4 seem to be the worst and people say they feel a little better on day 5.  So hang in there and see how you feel tomorrow.  You still have 4 more days off including today!  I bet you will feel better by Monday :)

[EmbarrassedK]

I'm relieved to hear this is normal for day 4/5 because I was under te impression the worst was day 3/4 I guess everyone is different, but i just really want to be better physically by Monday when I have to return to work. I bought a complete vitamin/mineral supplement, potassium supplement, immodium, vitamin b6, L-Tyrosine, and have Valium, and motrin.

[EmbarrassedK]

Praying definitely is what got me through yesterday and to my son's baseball game. Energetically drained and body in pain, but I made it. I am just on a rollercoaster of emotions and my mind is literally fighting with itself. Thanks for the advice and support:)

[MyhighBOTTOM]

XOXOXO. Lots of love to you. You got this. Really...the moment that thought went through my mind about my daughter. That was it for me. I kept telling myself..."She's MY life, MY whole world" and then I realized...."No!! You are HER life, and HER whole world"  Today, I am grateful to have another chance. I have an immense amount of hope and the guilt is slowly lifting. You will get through this! You can do it!!!

[EmbarrassedK]

Yes, I envy ppl who can live "normal" lives. Wake up in the morning to drink a cup of coffee instead of running to the medicine cabinet before anything else. I think it's helping with my mood, not so much my energy, but just when I feel like I have nothing more to give I take the L-Tyrosine with b6 vitamins and my thoughts start to make sense and the reason why I started this journey becomes clear again. And I read an article that says I can take it up to three times a day, as long as I eat in between 2nd and third doses. So i had to choke down half a toast of bread to take my second dose. Haven't been able to eat since this started :(

[EmbarrassedK]

Thank you for that perspective...it really, really touched me deep where I needed it to! XoXo