Is sobriety worth the suffering?

[vaughn22]

My question is sobriety so important that you should suffer flat on your back sick as a dog (or pacing the floor). even if life is calling you to participate? I felt so guilty about being on methadone even with chronic pain because I am a Christian and pastors have told me that pharmacia in the Greek means drug use, putting me under condemnation. Now I have a dog with chronic pain and I will force a pain pill down his throat if need be because without it he suffers. If I do that for him...don't you think God would also heal, even with a prescription drug? Life is short. Should we suffer when there is an alternative? vaughn22

[1sorryperson]

Having been sexually assulted in the past is very common for us here on mh.  Good to see you still posting.  Keep talking, we are listening but don't always reply to each comment.  You are not alone!  Don't dwell on your past (triggers, i have many), we can't change it, but we can change the future.   check out this website,  http://www.hbo.com/addiction/thefilm/supplemental/625_stimulant_addiction.html  
learn about cognitive behavior therapy where you can on the web, don't let your past control today and tomorrow.   What is your usage today?  

[VICourageous]

How is it going? How are you feeling??

[vaughn22]

I was re-reading your post, and came to the part about in your way of thinking, you were abusing your meds because you not only used them for pain but to better, stronger, and less anxious. Why is this B.S.? Unless you were taking more than prescribed for that reason. When my broken big toe and worn out knees stop hurting and I am able and willing to take my dog to do his business, am I not better, and stronger? Well, my dog just said its time to go...and I am ready. I took my meds. You guys have made me realize that its a conundrum that requires more thought on my part. Like one person asked if maybe I was lying to myself and my Dr. subconsciously? If its not conscious then indeed I could be and the pain medicine could be causing me pain (hyperanalgesia?).....but after I mentioned the rapes, I did post that yes, I am probably more hurt emotionally than physically, although no one wants to be a 98lb.weakling....which at 113lbs...is not far off.

[VICourageous]

Hi. hey I got my Methadone prescribed from my Dr. It started out in the late 90s with the other opiates. I just used more excuses to get the dones. I thought I could take less. Ha! What a joke that was. I finally had my surgery and knew someday I would be cut off. That is why I got myself down to 30mg. Then I was doing the same bad behavior of buying more. It just had to stop!!! I sure do wish you the best. Get your self down and just do it. You will feel much better in the long run. And as you know it is a long run to get here.
Bless

[vaughn22]

Thanks Sorry..BTW...who are you referring to as one sorry person? Not you for sure. Anyway...thank you for the explanation. vaughn22

[1sorryperson]

pm stands for 'private message'    if you click on someones name, or go to their profile page the is a"message" option, click it to be directed.   I'll send you a pm, click your name, click 'inbox' to find it.