Just need some encouragement.

[Goblin666]

Hey Everyone,

I am currently in withdrawal from Norco 10/325 and tramadol 50mg but with a prior history of very heavy opiate use.  Been on norcs/trams about 2 years for lower back disc and spondylolisthesis.  I was taking 100 norcos and 180 trams a month.  I weaned 10/05 to 10/06 and jumped off Monday.  I do not have anything left which is why I weaned so fast. Tuesday (yesterday) I found one Norco under my car seat and took it which made me feel better.

About 6 years ago I was heavily addicted to IV Morphine, Dilaudid, benzo's and went to treatment for 4 months after a horrible withdrawal.  I Stopped cold turkey as my supply all but disappeared.  I knew I needed help.  I was up/awake for 9 days straight with all the WD symptoms.  It was absolutely awful.  

I consider myself in recovery and I began to see behaviors in my current pill use that where concerning and I began questioning how "sober-acting" I was on this stuff.  I have legitimate back issues but I think I am way past where I wanted to go with the pills.  I am getting anxious knowing when I am close to running out, counting pills, etc...

Anyway, hoping that my back holds up and I can get off and stay off of this stuff.

My current withdrawals are NOTHING near where they were 6 years ago but this is still very hard.  I wonder if my symptoms are exaggerated this time due to the "muscle memory" from my historical use?

I have some leg pain, stomach cramping, fatigue, very emotional, etc...

I am taking some Imodium, L-tyrosine, advil which helps.  I talked to my 12 step sponsor last night and got real honest with my girlfriend.

Thanks for listening everyone.  Just looking for some love/experience/hope...

Be well :)

[WalkTall]

Opiate withdrawals are awful, but detox at home is very do-able, if you have the right plan, and enough determination.  The withdrawals won't kill ya, but going back to heavy opiate use will.

At some point in time, you've got to put enough distance between yourself and your supply.  Then you've got to be ready to do anything and everything to choose sobriety over getting high. Ultimately, we all get blindsided by cravings and weak moments.  Your measure of success depends on how you handle those situations.

We can help you with pointers and tips through your detox, but more importantly, make sure you've got a long-term plan to deal with your underling health issues and addiction so you don't have to endure another brutal detox sooner or later.

Stay strong, my friend.  You can do this!

[vicki595]

Yes, staying off is the best thing and cutting your sources is another...that refill needs to get cancelled by you ASAP.  So, you can't say you weren't warned...Good luck!

[Goblin666]

Hi all!  Didn't pick anything up.  Went to get a massage today which felt great.   More pain again today....  every time I think I'm over a symptom it reappears.  5 days no trams and 3 days no norcs.  Im just mainly fatigued today which is almost the hardest and why I have always gone back cuz im a super active guy and hate feeling like a slug BUT I know in my heart staying off this is the way to go long term.  Hanging with some good friends this afternoon.   Thanks guys.

[EvolverU]

Hi! I'm glad to hear that it's easing up a bit for you!! The thing is, as you know, if you refill the Trams, - (& Vicki595 makes a good point about calling CVS) - you'll be going backwards & will have to repeat all of this suffering. Why not take that leap & simply cut it off. You're already doing it, right? (I mean you've been on nothing at all.) Keep up the great work & don't let your 'habit'/mind trick you!!

[vicki595]

So...are you out picking up that refill?   I can understand but let us help you to help yourself...

[mommymarieme]

Yes I would cancel the script! You have made it so far and you do not need to go back!! You have done so good this far we are rooting for you!