Can't get off of pain killers

[bluemoon28]

Hello everybody, I am having a tough time. Let me fill you in a little on what is going on. My whole entire life I have always been very depressed and always sad. Things got a little bit better while I was pregnant with my son and even a little bit after I had my son in 2011 but a few weeks or months, I started taking Norco's because I was having a lot of pain due to my teeth all jacked up, I had braces on years ago but had to take them off myself, so my teeth never fully got fixed, I have a wisdom tooth as well. I started taking the Norco, usually only one a day , sometimes two but eventually I started feeling so happy, I can clean the house up so fast and felt so good about getting up or getting out of the house. Eventually, I started taking more then two a day, more so 8- 10 a day. I tried getting off of it because I hated who I was and how I was acting as a person but I just couldn't do it. I felt so helpless and scared of being depressed again but even on the pills I am still depressed. I have tried about 3-4 times to get off of these nasty pain killers, but I keep going back. Not only to norcos but to Oxy's , Vic, Norco's , some diet pills with speed in it, etc. Previously I went to see a dr, they gave me Volume to help me sleep it off but I hated the fact of sleeping, while my family was doing everything together. My husband thought I was off of them and doing well, but in reality I wasn't. Eventually I told him I was on them , not taking as much as I was although that was a lie. I have recently went to the Dr.s and they know nothing of taking pain killers, they put me on wellbutrin because I am so severally depressed and I can't get out of it. Most days I will cry and cry, won't want to get out of bed, I will not clean anything, I will get so mean and angry with my family and friends. Keep in mind, I am still taking pain killers and this time around it don't make me feel good, happy, or have any time to get up and clean. I feel so tired and sick non stop after I take a pill. Such as this morning, I took a Norco around 8:30 and not soon after I started feeling so freaking sick, like I need to through up all over the place. Dr.s thought I had a ulcer from everything I eat. I am worried I am having such bad stomach pains and taking the pain killers and the depression meds are not mixing well.
The thing is I can't seem to stay a way from these nasty pills, I can't even tell if the depression meds are working properly because the pain killers are making me feel weird, I know that I need to stay a way because that is one of the problems but I just can't seem to let go. Sometimes I feel it is in my head, because right after I take a pill, I am okay like it's all good no problems, but soon after I need another. At one point I was taking more then 10. I couldn't even think straight, I would be sitting down doing something but go off into space and start to nod and just sit there. I don't want to feel that way ANYMORE, I want to feel semi normal, I know there isn't an actual normal but anything is better then being on these nasty pills that are ruining my life. The sad thing is I know they are so bad but I can't seem to stop. I am constantly around people who take them and if I hear them say I need to take my pills, I get so like omg I need to have one or maybe even two at a time.

I want so badly for my depression meds to work but I hate the fact I have to wait it out and be so miserable till then. I don't think I will have any bad withdrawls because I am not taking as many as I use to. Well I am starting back up again and this is why I am posting this.

I need some advice on what to do, how to do it and be able to manage my life for my family. I have a two year old and I want to be straight and normal for HIM. I don't want my life to revolve around pills everyday unless it's depression meds that are helping me and that isn't something I will take forever. I would like to say the depression meds have made a little change but from taking the norocs, pain killers I can't tell!!!!

I know, I am strong and have the will power. I get nervous a lot though and I feel like pills give me something in my mind that don't make me feel nervous esp when I go to a job or a meeting, school or a test.
I am sorry everything is all over the place but I need help. I have some pills left and I want to take one so bad but what for? I am not in pain , if anything it is causing my stomach pain to get worse everytime I take another pill. Any suggestions? I don't want my husband to know I am taking them again, because my family has gone through this so many times he will literally just flush them and I am scared I can't do it without them, I know I can't have that out look but it's hard because I have used pills as a crutch to get me through the day, to feel something :( I just want to feel happy for once, I am only 21 and I want to feel good to get out of bed and do my daily mom duties and go to work. I have ruined my job in security due to these nasty pills...PLEASE HELP or somebody talk to me

[DoubleInTrouble]

Hello everyone
Iam going thru kinda the same thing as bluemoon28, I am 29, I have been taking norcos for 1 1/2, luckily I have not upped my usage much, I take 3-4 a day in half pill increments, I have started my detox today actually didn't have my reg half pill for last night. I have an addictive personality, I am also an alcoholic,  I had CT alcohol about 6 1/2 years ago and drank again about 8 months ago and started mixing both, I'm not a daily drinker , but when I drink I drink to get drunk , and alcohol has caused alot of problems in my life! This past year has been very bad for me, my mentality has changed drastically , I was very productive and happy when I was sober, I haven't drank since Sunday, and like I said I'm detoxing from norcos now, I have a nervousness and a scared feeling inside. I just want to be sober and stay sober! I can tell those pills have done something to my brain stream, do u think that will get better with time? I just want to be my own self again! I started AA meetings 2 days ago and plan on continuing to go after my detox is over, bcuz right now I can't go anywhere, pretty much bed riden. I would appreciate any help u all can give me. And bluemoon28 Iam going thru this battle with u! Iam trying to stay strong ! Hope u do the same!

[Ann2497]

Hi - your post really got to me.  You are my daughter's age.  I was shocked when I got to the end and you said you were 21.  I really thought you were late 30s, early 40s.  I have also suffered from depression and took Wellbutrin.  I used the pills to help my depression too.  In fact when I first started using pills it was if I felt happy for the first time in years.

There is absolutely no way you can get out of this depression or even try different meds to find one that works for you until you get off these pills.  You can do this!  There are so many people on this site that have done it and they were taking more than you a day.  What is your usage right now?  How many pills and what mg per day?  How many years have you been taking these pills?  We are all here to help you.

[ariley13]

Hi there and welcome! You are in the right place if you are ready to quit. The biggest must do if you are serious about quitting is to cut off your sources. Whether the pills are prescribed by a doctor or you are getting them through a dealer or friend, cut the source! If you don't, you will hit a weak moment and pick right back up. If you are serious about quitting, there is no need for back up plans. Be 100% honest with your doctor that way it is in your chart that you are an addict. Set up a support system for yourself. Family, clean friends. This site can be a wonderful tool in recovery. Stick close to us and let us know any symptoms you have during detox. We can suggest things that helped us. You can do this! Never doubt that. Time to get pumped up and off of those pills! You are not alone in this. We are here for you. Good luck to you and please take care of yourself.

[ROSYouralright]

Mama always said " CAN'T NEVER DID ANYTHING!" As I've grown up I realize how true that is! You totally CAN do it and YOU ARE NOT ALONE either! I KNOW you CAN do it and I'm rooting for you! I totally agree with HD2C!

[HappyDays2Come]

Hi and welcome! You can absolutely get off these pills. I was taking a little bit more than you a day and the first 48 hrs were the worst for me. After that it gets a little better each day. Oh and boy did the pills cause huge stomach issues for me, too! It's so nice now that that's over with!! Look up the Thomas Recipe and get all of the supplements / vitamins. Also, epsom salt will really help (take nice long baths when feeling badly). Get some Ensure / Gatorade and stay hydrated!

Get off the pain pills and then focus on your depression issues. You can't figure that out while your brain chemistry is out of whack with the different meds. Good luck and keep us posted. You'll find that there are tons of people on here that are ready to support and cheer you on. Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing!