Klonopin withdrawals help!

[jenn3672]

I am a clinician myself and very green in the field.  My doctor put me on Gabitril 4mg tablets twice a day in combination with clonazepam 0.5mg twice a day to help with chronic debilitating migrane headaches.  When I first started I asked him many times if there would be any addictive potential with the clonazepam since it was a benzo.  He repeatedly told me that it was must neglible dosage and that it was just helping to boost the effectiveness of the gabitril in preventing my headaches.  I continued on this regimen without question for about a year.  At first my headaches were greatly reduced then they started up again, my doctor then just uped the clonazepam to 1mg bid with the Gabitril.  I took this for about 9 months.  Never in all of that time, or before hand did I even have anxiety attacks ect.  Then about a month ago I started to have increasing headaches again and decided that I wanted to get off all meds.  So I went cold turkey about 3 weeks ago and have been having a very hard time.  At first I thought I had caught the flu with severe nausea, diarrhea, and extreme muscle aches.  I treated those symptoms with the occasional vicodin, and the lack of sleep with Ambien, not realizing that these meds are just temporarily reducing my symptoms.  I am hurt that my doctor would put me on something so addictive, but I must take some blame for blindly following advise without looking things up.  Are some people able to manage their own taper  successfully.  I am ashamed of feeling "crazy" and always hurting all over my body.  I am not a drug addict, or didn't think I was, and never got any feeling of relief or calmness from the drug.  But holy hell am I getting withdrawals. Help/  Advise?  I did find a nice taper schedule though, but am a little nervous about switching from Klonopin to Valium and then off.  Any one successfully done this without severe withdrawals?
Ashamed that I should have known better!

[jenn3672]

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/contents.htm

Here's the site I found to be the most helpful.  Granted, I just started it tonight, but it is  nice clear and informative.  Would recommended it, made me feel better about my situation!

[GoingToMakeIt]

The one I saw was something like benzobuddies?

[jenn3672]

Thank you, I did find one on a british site that is excellent, detailed, but surly I will be able to figure it out.  My husband is being great about it.  Just hope that these extremely debilitating muscle pain, anxiety, emotional swings, and nausea can be controlled because I feel that I am failing as a wife, mother, and doctor right now!  How can I help others, when I made such a blind dumb mistake myself in allowing another MD to dictate my care without my questioning it!  Going to have to get over it and move on!
Thanks!

[GoingToMakeIt]

I would do a search on Google for it. There are forums just on Benzos and how to get off of them. 10% reductions at a time, but I don't remember how long you stay at each level.

[jenn3672]

I did in fact quit cold turkey 3 weeks ago thinking that nothing would happen, but quickly deteriated with severe body pain, anxiety (which I've never had before), nausea, diarrhea, well you get the picture.  I never really needed the benzo, or got an effect from them, so didn't think it would be a big deal to quit. I didn't pick up on untiI today that the symptoms that I have been having are from the benzo stop.  I did self medication in the 3 weels after stopping with the occasional ambien, vicodin, or night time muscle relaxant thinking that my symptoms were from something else, and of course these temporarily helped with the side effects. I  think am going to have to go back on and taper in order to decrease these severe side effects. But in now way want to continue on them for much longer!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Don't be ashamed. There is a difference between an addict and a dependency. I am confused. Did you quit 3 weeks ago? Or are you wanting to taper? And to be doubly sure. You are trying to get off Benzos, right?

[worried878]

Have you already been 3 weeks without any benzos?