You can do it.

[refills]

More than too many Xanax washed down with over 2 gallons of beer a day. Certainly not very proud of myself. 2 nights ago I dreaded going to bed. I knew things weren't setting well with me. Then it started. Panic with every nerve ending in my body eating me alive while I tried not to wake my wife. She woke up. She always does. We both knew what was going to happen. She told me she could tell I was over the top anxious sitting in my chair. 4 months and I still have some rough days. I was close to caving last week from the anxiety. BUT, I didn't. My 2 sons, son-in-law- and my Grandson have birthdays this week. 4 in 7 days. 4 reason to stay clean and sober, with plenty more incentives. I'm trying hard while some days come and go with no problems. It does get better but I'm just not there yet. It just feels so good to tell anyone that I'm finally clean and sober. 138 days today.

So why am I here today? I know I wouldn't have made it this far without you all. I mean every last one of you. I read this forum everyday. All the posters that have been through this and all the posters that are going through. Live in the moment, get through one day at a time, don't beat yourself up, don't forget why, and keep posting! Everyone should take a moment to thank God for being with us all.

I want to say. Thank You to the posters that talked me down last week. If you do fall. Get back up. It's one tough battle worth fighting. ike

[Lilly1955]

So glad you are hanging in there. I know this is such a long hard journey but in the end we will be whole again.

[fordfanatic]

Reading this thread is a real mood booster. Really glad to hear you are doing so well. It means that I can get there too. Congrats on your amazing accomplishment. Let this be a good day for all of us, no matter what comes our way!

[refills]

Thank you all so much. The responses really fuel my desire to "get back to normal" and stay clean and sober. Sarah, Robin, Sonrissa, and Vickie you guys are in my hall of fame of posters. Your thoughts mean so much to me. Junip, you are such an inspiration. Being a great example for everyone to stay clean and leading by doing it yourself.The two things I learned in detox/therapy was doing a good deed daily for someone. 2, While doing good deeds to not expect any attention by doing so. Thinking of others is a great way to take your mind off your own problems. At least for a little while. Today is a GOOD DAY! for a good day...ike

[Junip]

Beautiful words, kind soul. Thank you for sharing and continuing to inspire.

[VICourageous]

WOW!!!! Refill what a wonderful post!!!!!!!!
I wanted to tell you something here. Back in the 90s I w/d off of hydo/oxys but ended back on them only to go up to the Methadone being prescribed. Well for 12 yrs I was so scared of w/ds. I got down to between 30mg to 60mg. I was running short and started to snort it with street bought adderral..(I do not have adhd) so it was like my Crank days in the 70-80s. I took a benzo late at night to come down.
I will tell you that the BENZO was what made my anxiety hit the moon and I could not sleep for months. My detox was long and very intense.

SO I give you my up most respect in you for being able to come off a Benzo & Booze at the same time..That had to be very hard..
PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
Bless
Vickie

[refills]

Thanks. It sure hasn't been easy. Everyday is like that box of chocolates. Today I want more than ever to beat back this addiction that latched hold of me.  

It's crazy how I found this community. I was just browsing the internet for information about my addiction when I found Med-Help. Just pure happenstance. Now its just like family to me. If I can do it. You can do it!..ike

[Sonrissa]

I love this post.  You really do "get it".  138 days is an amazing accomplishment. You have certainly fought hard to get here.  Stay strong and focussed. I wish you all the best.

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey:

113 days for me and I can TOTALLY relate.   I'm having some very bad days here and there.  Anxiety through the roof...headaches, and a stomach flu I cannot shake. (I have IBS so any type of tummy virus takes 4X longer than normal to go away.)

You're doing great, my friend...keep up the good work. God Bless us ALL.

Hugs,
-Robin

[dominosarah]

Great post!!  This is a "we" thing as you can see now!  Be proud of yourself as you have done all the hard work!