Lost but looking for me again...

[littlegirlinbigworld]

Ok so here I go...Ive been lurking for months!  Even feel like I know many of yall! (yes, I'm from the south...lol). I am starting day 1 without any Norco!  Been taking up to 20 a day for the past 6 months. I have been taking the demon pills for about 2 years!  I can't do this anymore. I started with real pain from my husband (now exhusband) pushing me out the window of our house!  I kept taking the pills to deal with the emotional pain of my shattered life. I have 2 awesome kids who deserve ME back!  So here I am, have not taken any today and won't take any. I have 5 in my nightstand that I keep yelling at. I won't take them as I hate them!  I figure if I can't quit with them right in front of me then I can't quit!  They are everywhere in this little town. I am a single mom of 2, a cancer survivor, and a good person so I know I am better than these stupid pills!  I am doing this alone so I need all the help, encouragement and honesty that yall can possibly give me!  My name says little girl but that is my size not my age!  I am 38 years young and weigh less than 100 pounds. I am naturally small as I eat everything but I know 20 norcos a day is way too much for this little body. I dont want to die!  I want me back!  Can yall help me find me?

[littlegirlinbigworld]

Amby, thanks for the support!  I see that you are new here. Go to the top of the page where it says post and you can post your own story so that others can help you. We have people who have been on subs. I wouldn't be clean today if not for everyone here!  You can ask questions about your symptoms and they will help you!  Thanks again symptoms and I hope to see a post from you soon!

[Amby89]

Hey there! I saw ur posts, and wanted to let u know that u are one tough little chic!! Hopefully ur feeling almost normal by now! :) I know what u were going thru, and mind u that u may physically still feel better but not completley mentally! So keep urself busy all the time! Play with ur kids, go take a walk, anything! I was on perc 30s for 4 years and was put on suboxone when found out I was pregnant, well (subutex) at the time, anyways my doctor cut me off after a year of being on the medicine I'm on day 8 and feeling pretty bad! I've withdrawaled alOt so I knew what to expect, my daughter is now 6 months and she made me have such a different outlook on life! I want to be done with drugs for good! Please keep posting, if u ever feel tempted or depressed just come here and talk to us! :)

[littlegirlinbigworld]

Paige, that is one thing I have never been told before, that I make a girl wanna flush her pills!  LOL!  That one is gonna stick with me!  

[littlegirlinbigworld]

Vickie, thanks so much. I read that first post earlier today and I didn't realize I was falling apart at the beginning of this journey!  If you and Julie hadn't of responded to me then I don't think I would have done it!  Yall literally saved my life!  I have realized in recovery group there is always something that just hits home for me. It seems like everywhere I look there is something that pertains to me at that moment. Even my fortune cookie said Time is the wisest counselor!  

Julie, you are so right!  I toom my first pill and my daughter was a little 12 year old girl who was busy playing. Now I have a young lady who is taller and bigger than me and all grown up looking!  I can't believe what I might have missed. And my little boy, who us thankfully still mommas boy, was a 7 yr old cute little boy. Now he is like a little man. He opens doors for all girls and carries their bags. Just the little gentleman!  I could not be more proud of my kids and the best part is that they are both proud of me too!  Sometimes, life is just good!

[knaankj]

Sissy.....you make a girl wanna flush her pills! i just love hearing that you are feeling better!! im so grateful i got in on your story just in time to see you start your journey! you are doing SO GREAT!!
Paige

[VICourageous]

Sissy you have come along ways since the night FourJays and I was with you..5 days already..Wow that is hot stuff...I have been going to both AA/NA even If I have not had a drink in 8 years..I learn my tools in recovery from both..I have been going for 7 months and the meeting to night was just one of the hottest yet..It is like when you go there is always a message there for you..You could be thinking about something all day and Boom.It hit you..It either comes from the reading in the beginning or through some one else..I got two messages from 2 people who just shared there experience tonight..It is so nice to be around clean people who know that life does get tough..You are OK the crying is something every one does now and then..You are not Judged there but Loved..I am very Proud of you..You are just ticking away in time...
vickie