Aa
Many Struggles today~
I saw so many people struggling today. My question is why didnt anyone post a thread on the forum. This is a "we" thing, not an "i" thing. Cravings are a very difficult thing and should be taken seriously. This needs to be talked about as it helps us all.
You guys all rallied yesterday and helped me and many others tremendously! I should have posted out here but I felt bad... I didn't want to discourage anyone else! I see that it's important to do so BC recovery is NO cake walk!
I too am now confused. I think that this thread was posted to tell people that they can and should reach out when they are struggling. ?
Many people were struggling yesterday. They all reached out and not just on status but also other areas.They reached out through PM and through journals. Unfortunately some of them did not respond anymore after reaching out initially.This had nothing to do with status being occupied or anything else.It just had to do with the fact that the original strugglers (most not all) did not follow up when we reached out to them following their posts made on different areas of MH. Many of these people had/has substantial clean time and knew well how to navigate. I can only hope that they pm'ed someone else here about the problems because we helped some and the others I still do not know what happened with them.
Many people were struggling yesterday. They all reached out and not just on status but also other areas.They reached out through PM and through journals. Unfortunately some of them did not respond anymore after reaching out initially.This had nothing to do with status being occupied or anything else.It just had to do with the fact that the original strugglers (most not all) did not follow up when we reached out to them following their posts made on different areas of MH. Many of these people had/has substantial clean time and knew well how to navigate. I can only hope that they pm'ed someone else here about the problems because we helped some and the others I still do not know what happened with them.
I haven't been on this site for a couple years and I don't understand what your post means. Can you please explain? Who was struggling and what are you unhappy about?
I've been avoiding commenting about the status update issue but I'm going to go ahead and throw this out there...
I know that some of us newbies have been inclined to update in status' and have developed a really close bond by doing so. I think that we chose to do so in a status because it didn't seem important enough to come to the forum to post about (or to create a journal for). Because we all quit at the same time (around 6 of us) we all basically stalked each others profiles daily (leaving notes, commenting on one's status, PM-ing, journaling, etc) to give moral support. At that time we were the newest members and were clinging to each other for support and much needed laughter while going through the w/ds. This resulted in a bond forming amongst us and it has helped me so much. We never meant to break any unspoken rules regarding status updates...heck I didn't even know they were visible to the public until we were called out for updating and commenting on them so often.
Ever since this has come to light I notice that I'm not inclined to want to post or comment on anyone's status anymore because I feel that I'm silently being judged as not caring about the more important status'. Really aren't everyone's important? Even if it seems trivial to you maybe something as small as lyrics to a song is getting someone through the day!
I guess I just don't understand even though I'm trying to follow these newly disclosed rules of MH...
I know that some of us newbies have been inclined to update in status' and have developed a really close bond by doing so. I think that we chose to do so in a status because it didn't seem important enough to come to the forum to post about (or to create a journal for). Because we all quit at the same time (around 6 of us) we all basically stalked each others profiles daily (leaving notes, commenting on one's status, PM-ing, journaling, etc) to give moral support. At that time we were the newest members and were clinging to each other for support and much needed laughter while going through the w/ds. This resulted in a bond forming amongst us and it has helped me so much. We never meant to break any unspoken rules regarding status updates...heck I didn't even know they were visible to the public until we were called out for updating and commenting on them so often.
Ever since this has come to light I notice that I'm not inclined to want to post or comment on anyone's status anymore because I feel that I'm silently being judged as not caring about the more important status'. Really aren't everyone's important? Even if it seems trivial to you maybe something as small as lyrics to a song is getting someone through the day!
I guess I just don't understand even though I'm trying to follow these newly disclosed rules of MH...
I think instead of getting the same handful of people to support you, open that door and post on the forum, where you'll get even more replies and more takes on your situation.
Couldn't agree more (as below):
I know that some people also reach out to others in Journals, PM's, etc. -- Again, not the same thing.
The fact is that people isolate & have to cut off their 'friends' in real life & just as in real life people form 'affinities' -- attachments to one another. It may not be perfect but it's better to have conversations (& some people find laughter/comaraderie to be just as much a necessary part of recovery/a good life as the other aspects.) I'm aware of the objections/difficulties that have been recently stated to this practice but I'd hate to see a whole group of people scared away from the site because of something as innocent as this. People are different from one another one. What works for some is not necessarily what works for others.
I agree that we should should push our comfort zones -- that we should be brave & compassionate. I believe that this also applies to others on the site because I see the same 'patterns' with other groups of folks -- just in different ways. Something to think about anyway.
We are here to work on ourselves & to be fully supportive & non-judgmental of others (though tough love is called for sometimes.) I believe we are only fully human through others. We're all on a path & are hopefully observant & open enough to learn from each other. But as
I said, it's a process...I'd rather someone journal & not post on forum than not journal @ all.
I'm far from perfect. I must work on my issues everyday. This is life. This is addiction. We are works in progress & must have patience with ourselves & others (not that I'm saying that you or anyone else is impatient -- I was speaking more about myself!) Your suggestions/points are appreciated & well-taken as always. Your thoughtfulness & care are always apparent. Thank you, my friend! Annie
Couldn't agree more (as below):
I know that some people also reach out to others in Journals, PM's, etc. -- Again, not the same thing.
The fact is that people isolate & have to cut off their 'friends' in real life & just as in real life people form 'affinities' -- attachments to one another. It may not be perfect but it's better to have conversations (& some people find laughter/comaraderie to be just as much a necessary part of recovery/a good life as the other aspects.) I'm aware of the objections/difficulties that have been recently stated to this practice but I'd hate to see a whole group of people scared away from the site because of something as innocent as this. People are different from one another one. What works for some is not necessarily what works for others.
I agree that we should should push our comfort zones -- that we should be brave & compassionate. I believe that this also applies to others on the site because I see the same 'patterns' with other groups of folks -- just in different ways. Something to think about anyway.
We are here to work on ourselves & to be fully supportive & non-judgmental of others (though tough love is called for sometimes.) I believe we are only fully human through others. We're all on a path & are hopefully observant & open enough to learn from each other. But as
I said, it's a process...I'd rather someone journal & not post on forum than not journal @ all.
I'm far from perfect. I must work on my issues everyday. This is life. This is addiction. We are works in progress & must have patience with ourselves & others (not that I'm saying that you or anyone else is impatient -- I was speaking more about myself!) Your suggestions/points are appreciated & well-taken as always. Your thoughtfulness & care are always apparent. Thank you, my friend! Annie
. However, I think it's better to reach out a little bit (journals, etc.) than not at all. It's a process & it takes time & work as we all know.
I agree completely!!
I know no one here would ever try to discourage people from reaching out in any way! I think the main point is there has been a big shift from the conversations happening here versus in the status updates.
Farmgal brings up a great point too, when discussions are occurring in places other than here, it may be construed as more of a personal conversation. That's true! I for one would be MUCH less likely to reply in the middle of a conversation that feels very "personal" among very good friends versus on the open forum, where I feel the input is welcomed. I know that you guys would more than welcome my input no matter where it is, but sometimes, you feel like you're stepping into a circle and interrupting, you know?
The one thing is for sure no matter WHERE a person reaches out, is they're going to get support. This forum always astounds me and out of all of MH, this is one of the more supportive places.
I think instead of getting the same handful of people to support you, open that door and post on the forum, where you'll get even more replies and more takes on your situation. I know it isn't always easy, and there's probably a good bit of a "comfort zone" thing happening too. People get close to others, and feel like they want to turn to those same people, because they "know" them better, which makes sense. Addiction is ALL about moving out of that comfort zone. Maybe MH is the perfect place to get practice with that? Next time you're having a rough day, or are scared, take a chance and post on the forum. There are SO many people waiting in the wings to help and I bet even MORE who are just reading, furiously shaking their head, because they "get it". You guys don't even begin to know how much you help others, even when YOU are on the recipient end of the advice.
I think this is an AWESOME discussion.
I agree completely!!
I know no one here would ever try to discourage people from reaching out in any way! I think the main point is there has been a big shift from the conversations happening here versus in the status updates.
Farmgal brings up a great point too, when discussions are occurring in places other than here, it may be construed as more of a personal conversation. That's true! I for one would be MUCH less likely to reply in the middle of a conversation that feels very "personal" among very good friends versus on the open forum, where I feel the input is welcomed. I know that you guys would more than welcome my input no matter where it is, but sometimes, you feel like you're stepping into a circle and interrupting, you know?
The one thing is for sure no matter WHERE a person reaches out, is they're going to get support. This forum always astounds me and out of all of MH, this is one of the more supportive places.
I think instead of getting the same handful of people to support you, open that door and post on the forum, where you'll get even more replies and more takes on your situation. I know it isn't always easy, and there's probably a good bit of a "comfort zone" thing happening too. People get close to others, and feel like they want to turn to those same people, because they "know" them better, which makes sense. Addiction is ALL about moving out of that comfort zone. Maybe MH is the perfect place to get practice with that? Next time you're having a rough day, or are scared, take a chance and post on the forum. There are SO many people waiting in the wings to help and I bet even MORE who are just reading, furiously shaking their head, because they "get it". You guys don't even begin to know how much you help others, even when YOU are on the recipient end of the advice.
I think this is an AWESOME discussion.
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