Aa
Messed up
I have been a long time Vicodin abuser. I always get it legally with RX, because my injuries I sustained to the back required the meds. The doctor is legit just unscrupulous. He charges me an arm and a leg for an RX, but has all my medical records. I have been doing well for a long time with suboxone, but then every time I get in a fight with my wife- 6 months of no alcohol, reducing suboxone meds goes out the window. I go right back to the doctor and he's happy to perscribe mr 60 10 mg norco and 60 soma. I think his name should Brian doctor "feel good". I have been attending AA classes which are helpful for my narcotic problem. Just hearing the stories are so uplifting, I live in Temecula and desperately need a sponsor, but I can't seem to get one at these clases. I'm not outgoing and hate rejection. I got the courage up to ask the group leader, and that was useless- just said find someone in class you connect with. I'm shy, embarrassed, and can't seem to figure out how to get that sponsor - it *****. If I had support from another person, as pathetic as that sounds, I know I could kick thus stuff. Any helpful advice for a former Marine, drug addicted peace of garbage lie me? I have utilized the VA narcotics unit, but they dont help. Thank you for your time and consideration,
Sincerely,
A lost cause
Sincerely,
A lost cause
I have to rush to the store so I'll just post this comment, even though it may sound moronic.
Oh, by the way, you are not a loser. The list of famous, rich, or otherwise noteworthy people who are drug abusers or addicts is a very, very, long one.
____________________
When I was first learning to fly people told me that I would go through three to four instructors because I had to find a good fit, someone I could relate to. Sure enough I had three instructors. Instructor # 2 I had for two lessons. He was like the flight Nazi, his instruction style was to scream, berate and belittle (remember boot camp :) I guess that style worked for some people, but not for me. I called him one day, said "you're an elohssɐ" and found someone else to complete my instruction.
When it comes to anything we endeavor to do there's all kinds of people out there. As you have learned, some people are fantastic, you can relate to, and some even become friends. In contrast, we consistently have to deal with people who are horrible at what they do.
You are an ex jarhead, I mean Marine. I am a combat veteran so I know you had to too do what I did, beging "forced" to work or get along with people who are lazy, mean, or incompetent.
As you have discovered, in private life we have the same situation. Even though we think people at AA or NA would do all they can to help a fellow addict, sometimes it is simply not a good fit. Or perhaps you are suffering from someone in charge who does not know how to remedy your situation. He might be great in organizing meetings and conducting them, but when a member asks for individual help all he can say is find someone to connect with. (Then again, finding a sponsor is not something the group leader can impose or suggest, attendees have to feel each other out and enter into a relationship they feel comfortable with.)
Note: As a former Marine you obviously possess the discipline and attitude to fight this addiction war on your own. I would submit that for now you use these online sources to come up with a plan, get support, and take your time finding another AA or NA group that is a good fit for you, where you can find that sponsor you desire.
There's lots of online directories for AA and NA meetings and groups in your area. Simply do a Google search. (Tip: Some people at a first or second meeting will tell the group that he or she is looking for a sponsor. During the break those interested in becoming a sponsor will approach you.)
Here's a Google link I made for you.
http://tinyurl.com/NARiverside
Also, when attending a meeting, if you see there's a low turnout, simply leave and attend a different meeting. You can also ask the group leader at what times are there the most people and you can attend that meeting to increase your odds of finding a sponsor.
Bonus Tip: In line with what I said about flight instructors, if the sponsor you get is not what you expected you are free to find someone else. I know someone who said she could not stand her sponsor, so she "fired" her and found someone she liked. (She did not like her sponsor calling her at 6:30 am. She had had enough reveille in the military. One guy used to walk by and bang on the racks with a pipe. One time he did that once too many times. A private took the pipe from the guy and beat the holy hell out of him with it.) I digress, forgive me.
P.s. I get all my medical care from the VA. IMO they are not equipped to deal with drug abuse and addicts. The military believes that treatment should A) prescribe limited pain meds; B) Immediately cease prescribing pain meds to suspected abusers; and C) prescribe counseling. There's not really any individual treatment programs.
The VA is also quick to label people drug abusers. For example, if you say someone stole your drugs, you lost them, they dropped in the toilet, or you want a refill too soon, the doctors immediately red flag your file and cut you off. IMO drug abusers are low priority with the VA and they would lock the hospital doors to them if they could.
Oh, by the way, you are not a loser. The list of famous, rich, or otherwise noteworthy people who are drug abusers or addicts is a very, very, long one.
____________________
When I was first learning to fly people told me that I would go through three to four instructors because I had to find a good fit, someone I could relate to. Sure enough I had three instructors. Instructor # 2 I had for two lessons. He was like the flight Nazi, his instruction style was to scream, berate and belittle (remember boot camp :) I guess that style worked for some people, but not for me. I called him one day, said "you're an elohssɐ" and found someone else to complete my instruction.
When it comes to anything we endeavor to do there's all kinds of people out there. As you have learned, some people are fantastic, you can relate to, and some even become friends. In contrast, we consistently have to deal with people who are horrible at what they do.
You are an ex jarhead, I mean Marine. I am a combat veteran so I know you had to too do what I did, beging "forced" to work or get along with people who are lazy, mean, or incompetent.
As you have discovered, in private life we have the same situation. Even though we think people at AA or NA would do all they can to help a fellow addict, sometimes it is simply not a good fit. Or perhaps you are suffering from someone in charge who does not know how to remedy your situation. He might be great in organizing meetings and conducting them, but when a member asks for individual help all he can say is find someone to connect with. (Then again, finding a sponsor is not something the group leader can impose or suggest, attendees have to feel each other out and enter into a relationship they feel comfortable with.)
Note: As a former Marine you obviously possess the discipline and attitude to fight this addiction war on your own. I would submit that for now you use these online sources to come up with a plan, get support, and take your time finding another AA or NA group that is a good fit for you, where you can find that sponsor you desire.
There's lots of online directories for AA and NA meetings and groups in your area. Simply do a Google search. (Tip: Some people at a first or second meeting will tell the group that he or she is looking for a sponsor. During the break those interested in becoming a sponsor will approach you.)
Here's a Google link I made for you.
http://tinyurl.com/NARiverside
Also, when attending a meeting, if you see there's a low turnout, simply leave and attend a different meeting. You can also ask the group leader at what times are there the most people and you can attend that meeting to increase your odds of finding a sponsor.
Bonus Tip: In line with what I said about flight instructors, if the sponsor you get is not what you expected you are free to find someone else. I know someone who said she could not stand her sponsor, so she "fired" her and found someone she liked. (She did not like her sponsor calling her at 6:30 am. She had had enough reveille in the military. One guy used to walk by and bang on the racks with a pipe. One time he did that once too many times. A private took the pipe from the guy and beat the holy hell out of him with it.) I digress, forgive me.
P.s. I get all my medical care from the VA. IMO they are not equipped to deal with drug abuse and addicts. The military believes that treatment should A) prescribe limited pain meds; B) Immediately cease prescribing pain meds to suspected abusers; and C) prescribe counseling. There's not really any individual treatment programs.
The VA is also quick to label people drug abusers. For example, if you say someone stole your drugs, you lost them, they dropped in the toilet, or you want a refill too soon, the doctors immediately red flag your file and cut you off. IMO drug abusers are low priority with the VA and they would lock the hospital doors to them if they could.
You are definatley not a piece of garbage. Addiction is a disease that is never cured it can just be put in remission. I have the same problems about finding a sponsor at the meeting I go to. There are only two females, including me, that go to the meetings and she has the same clean time that I do so she is not ready to sponsor. At least try to get someones number from the meeting, even if their not ready to sponsor. That way if you are having a hard time you can call someone that will understand. Good luck to you!! Stay positive.
Hi and welcome....first, thank you for your service....and you are not a piece of garbage! we are addicts and that's something we did not choose to be...you are doing great by asking for help and i agree with the above posters....try to find an NA meeting, go to diff meetings til you find one that you are comfy with....that's what i'm trying to do...you will get there...just hang tough and know you can do this! keep posting for support....we all want to help you thru it.
Barb is spot on. It may be the group you are attending. Since there are meetings at different times and locations, and they will have different people. Some groups are younger, some are older. You could try them out. Sometimes it takes going to a few different ones to find the one that fits you. And that right sponsor might be waiting for you at another meeting. And stop this putting yourself down stuff. Addiction is a disease, it's not something you chose. None of us chose to be addicts.
And by the way, thank you for your service to our country. That makes you a hero!
And by the way, thank you for your service to our country. That makes you a hero!
Please don't call yourself a piece of garbage!! You're not at all! So get that out of your head now!!
I understand being afraid to ask for a sponsor. I'm not sure how long you have been going to that particular meeting, but if you haven't found "friends" yet, try another. Or NA.
IMO sometimes, groups of older AA people don't always connect with "drug" addicts. Find a meeting your comfortable in. And remember, they too had to ask someone to sponsor them. They have been in your shoes.
Please stay around. It's kinda slow right now, but support here is great, and will come!
I understand being afraid to ask for a sponsor. I'm not sure how long you have been going to that particular meeting, but if you haven't found "friends" yet, try another. Or NA.
IMO sometimes, groups of older AA people don't always connect with "drug" addicts. Find a meeting your comfortable in. And remember, they too had to ask someone to sponsor them. They have been in your shoes.
Please stay around. It's kinda slow right now, but support here is great, and will come!
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