I never Learn so Im back again!

[wings444]

Hi
I thought iwas going to make it last time. I detoxed from percs for 3 days and back I went. They were around me like  being in a candy store. This time I know I have to do it cause its much worse. I used to be able to take a few and be ok now I find I have to take about 5 to get out of bed. So through out the say Im taking 20 or more.
Well....I took my last 4 this morning and Im now perc bankrupt, no way to get any more. I truley need to detox and stay off this time. I hope everyone is not frustrated listening to me again. But I need some support. The withdrawls are so bad this time I feel like Im dying. I did get ahold of some adivan 1mg not sure how many I can take but Ive taken 2 at once....they make me soooo tired....I hate downers. But I also hate the buzzing anixety in my body.
I hope you dont mind me posting on here again cause and ideas would help cause I mean business this time.
It was all new to me, I did'nt take this addiction serious enough but I sure am now cause Im getting so sick
Thankyou for listening to me again!!
Wings

[wings444]

Im taking Adivan and clonindine for the withdrawls. I feel like Im dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate thsi soooo much, I just hope I can sleep for a few hours cause I cant stand it anymore.
Hopefully this is enough to make me never ever thing of relapsing again because I cant stand the detox of this ****.
I wish I had an idea how long this **** id going to stay in my system... I was taking 20 or more perc aday maybe more!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im taking clonidine like a gyini pig cause Im despet atm..
Thankyou for posting back, This site is a life line for me and thankYOU@!!!

Wings

[tylersblueeyedmom]

I am back here again too...not for relapsing, but I missed it!  I am so glad that you came here for support and don't ever be afraid too!  That is why the group is here...right?  You just have to have faith in yourself that you can do it!!!  And you can..because you did the right thing by seeing yourself fall back into some place you don't want to be and you came here!!!  

Just give yourself some credit and realize...YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

[wings444]

Hi Tracy and ty cause today I feel even worse than before... MY son is also and addict and is heading to detox tommorrow the a week later to rehab for 18 days.
I cant stand feeling sick and tired anymore all I can do is lie down. I have to go out now to get him some new clothes for rehab then I have to lie down.
Any Idea when I will start to feel human again?? Cause this *****. I know a few percs would clear that right up BUT Im not doing down that road again!!!
Thanks for listening!!
WIngs

[tracypatzold]

Relapse happens. The withdrawals are very hard to come off with opiates. I watch my bf do it all the time. This is his 3rd time coming off the opiates. I try to help him as much as i can. Your symtems sound about right to me. I wont allow him to take any medications mabye trazadone & thats it. Take it 1 day at a time. If u need someone to chat wiht him here. I am here for any body thats detoxing. I understand trust me.

[wings444]

I feel like completly usuless I can get up for longer than 5 mons.. The I have to lie down again. Am I taking t many adivans>> Please someone answerr that question. I ask and ask and no on answer Im taking 2 to 3 gm at one time.. My evergy is at all time low I feel like Im dying. I feel beter when I have the flu!!

Thanks again
wings

[Rebecca_]

I'm new here but I have relapsed many times on pills.  I understand how you feel.  I now believe that the relapses I had were all part of the recovery process.  It's weird, after each one I got closer and closer, hopefully this will be your last time but if not, no worries, you will get through it!  

If I could do it I know you can - and you will....

[imanaddict]

Take a HOT bath. Trust me it helps!! Melatonin will help you sleep and it's natural so it won't harm you. You can find it in the vitamin section of Walmart, Walgreens, wherever...

You can beat this!! Just keep in mind that there is a bright sunlight at the end of the dark tunnel.

[wings444]

I feel like dying!!! I cant stop crying!!! I feeel sos sick and horrible,,, major headeach.
Im taking 3 adivans, is that too much?? Im lost on what is safe anymore. I guess after what Ive been taking nothing can be too bac eh?? I hopw
Anyhow I check in later I have to lay back down, I have no energy at all
Tahnks for listening!!
WIngs
Ps sorry about typos lol

[imanaddict]

In a perfect world, no one would relapse. No one would have addictions. Relapse is (IMO) a part of recovery because we have to fail fail fail in order to get tired of it failing and do something about it. I know I did! A lot of us did! A lot of us DO!

Wings, The point is you can't let this get the best of you. Addiction is powerful but it can be beaten if the will is strong enough.  Where there's a will, there's a way and I believe in you! We all believe in you!!

[scaredmom330]

Congrats on coming back and trying again. Each time you try to detox it will get harder and harder. Read the thomas recipe and amino acid protocol. drink plenty of fluids, eat and exercise when you can. you can do this. good idea to get to NA asap. they will help you. also post and keep posting. we all are here to help and support you never to judge. take care and remember one day at a time.

[Kevin_Bacon]

While I disagree with "relapse is a part of recovery" -- it pretty well gives a person the "right" to relapse, because it's going to happen ... of course it happens rather a lot, so perhaps I shouldn't read such things lierally ... I heard this so often in detox, years ago, that I challenged the counsellor in an open meeting, and he responded by saying something like, "Well, ideally a person won't relapse, but just because it might happen, it doesn't mean you're a total failure." -- something like that.

So I'll assume what the poster typed was the same type of message -- just because you fell off the cart, no need to think "I'm a loser. What's the point? I can't do this, because I'm a complete failure," which is nonsense. Treat your fall as a crisis -- you get back to the plan right now, and you give it another go. You did three days -- you can do three days. This time, go for more. Keep posting here -- lots of people who care and have great advice.

You're not a failure.

[AwakenedIn2009]

Please never ever feel bad, or silly for asking for help or advice.  Especially here you will only find kind, loving people who have the best advise for yourself. And have nothing but your health and welfare they will take to heart for you.
I myself just joined and have had so much advise on how to help with the withdrawls, what to expect and how to ease the pain.
I am on day 8 from coming off of 80-100mg some days of oxycotin. Which I would chew for that instant high.  It wasn't easy but the people here helped me tremendously to make it to day 8 and I will continue.
So wings444 ask anything and good for you for going to an NA meeting. I still need to find one in my city and join.
Good luck Doll your in good hands here.
Awakened

[dominosarah]

Aftercare is a must.......sara

[IBKleen]

And each and every time it will get worse and worse. Addiction is a progressive disease.

Glad to see that you seeing that you need to get something else going this time. Why wait until Saturday for a meeting? Today is Thursday and no time like the present.

I wish you luck this go round. Hang in there.

[wings444]

Im heading to a NA meeting on Sat forsure, I know I cant do this alone!!!!
Im actually looking forward to it.
Thanksyou

[Allicat0117]

Post as often as you want...nobody will mind listening!!! You need to look into some aftercare...it is imperative to stay clean. I didn't realize that until I actually started therapy. Seriously, check it out!!! Good luck

[imanaddict]

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over! Relapse is a part of recovery unfortunately. You can't change the past, but you can change what you do in the future, so need to dwell. A good place to start would be a NA meeting. See if you can find one today. Don't worry about no one supporting you. No one here is in a position to judge and that is what we are here for...100% support!