why am i feeling jealous

[vc10]

I havent been here in a while, but I have been clean from roxi's for about 2 1/2 months. I have this friend from childhood, we used to be close but with work, and family we arent as close as before but we keep in touch and meet up every once in a while. I talked to this friend yesterday and she mentioned how she had hurt her back and the doc. gave her 50 oxys and 50 muscle relaxers. She would never give me any or sell them , she's more like you have your stash and i'll have mine. I just hate my thoughts and feelings right now. I feel bad because i feel jealous that shes got a script and a reason to use. i dont even want to go visit her cause i know why she'll be in such a good mood and extra talkitve. I hate that i feel so weak, like i wish she would offer it to me.  ive decided its in my best interset to stay away. I feel so confused cuase im happy im off the merry go round and at the same time I'm wishing she'd just offer me one

[gizzy32]

I can relate to this even though we used different drugs. So many times when i tried to get clean before i would still go to friends houses when they were using. I felt so uncomfortable and in a way, maybe a bit jealous cause i wanted to be high too. Eventually I caved and most times it was the first visit, lol. Even now after all this clean time i know I can't be around that stuff, it just sets something off and i would have to fight harder. Do not feel weak, it takes a lot of strength not only to post this, but not go visit your friend. Congrats on your 2 1/2 months, your doing great:)

[CatLadie]

Hang Tuff - You've come this far....Do you really want to go back now ? (you don't).

Today is Day 8 for me and , "it aint ez" but I'm going to make it and so will you.

Hang in there -

[jillian6]

My mom has the pills (fiorcet) I abused so I  don't go over to her house.  I've explained why and she still pressures me.  I haven't been clean long enough or set up a solid support system so I just let her be mad and don't go.

I'd stay away right now too - if I had the chance get my hands on a few, I probably would.  I just hate that she doesn't understand how hard it is to quit (she doesn't abuse them).  She pressues my dad into telling him to talk to me about coming over.  I'm soon going to tell him not to do it anymore.  If she can't accept my reasons, that's her problem.  I tried to be honest.  Hon, I'd stay away until you are feeling in a better place but if you do go, at least you know she doesn't like to share.  One pill or ten, it's never enough, like someone else said.  Hope you have a good day!

[outotown]

Some one on here said one is to many and one thousand is not enough!! hang tough!!!

[Ella789]

It really does help to come here and post and to read others posts too.  We see others dealing with alot of things that we can offer some help to.  Even a kind word or some encouragement can really help some one who is struggling.  As well, we can always come here to vent and reachout to others where we probably couldn't do that anywhere else.
Hugs

Ella

[vc10]

you guys are right and i had the same thought about one pill not being enough.The craving or whatever it was isnt as intense as this morning and comming here really helped me.  It is so nice to actually talk to others who know exactly what im going through

[Ella789]

  If she knows that you are a recovering addict she may very well be rubbing it in your face knowing that you will be tempted.  Please stay away from her for say a couple weeks or so.  Then see how she's doing, if she is still getting pills, then continue to stay away.  This girl may be a friend but then again if she uses, she just may be a tormentor more than friend,  Who needs that?

Ella

[liscamdave]

Worried said it right...one is how we all started. I can't tell you how many times I regretted taking that first pill..it sent me on the worst obstacle of my entire life. You need to stay away from this girl. Has she been addicted ever? Is she an addict? Because if not, she could very well be on her way. I say, don't be jealous, be happy it isn;t you who is about to embark on a journey most wish death because of.

[worried878]

nah..u really ont one..and besides..one is never enuf..if u r feeling weak..then it is best to stay away from there til they r gone..and it probably wont be long...50 pills woulda lasted me 5 or 6 days..not enuf to really get worked up about..and then the bottle always empties and u r stuck with wondering where ur next pill will come from..1 pill is how we all started...hang tight