Don't be so hard on yourself. Just glad you made it back to try again. It has nothing to do with willpower for me. It was about living life in recovery. I have no will power. I've proved that over & over & over.
This website is a GOD send for me. We are helping each other do something. If we didn't need each other just willpower we wouldn't spend time here.
And the people with years that are still here to help us. So glad your here. Just decide what your going to do different. It's not easy but it's simple. No matter what I'm feeling I don't pick up.
Try a program you can go to AA/NA, church, any support group to also see people face to face.
Hang on!!! We're behind you & beside you, post often.
Don't be so hard on yourself...getting sober is not an easy thing to do and staying sober is even harder. Forget about what happened yesterday and start out fresh today. The same for tomorrow, start out fresh, throw out the bad stuff with the trash. If you start carrying all those burdens before long you won't be able to stand straight...you'll be all hunched over and, darn, that would be uncomfortable :-)
Get my updated copy from my journal okay? I posted the wrong one yesterday.
Hang in there friend!