Here I go again, I need some input and support, please help!

[Smiles Are Fake]

Im back again, UGHHHHHHHHH!!! I was taking Hydrocodone 10mg about 7-10 a day maybe more maybe less, and now I am at the point where I cant get any, and Im SICK of taking them!! I am losing everything. My family, My AWESOME girlfriend, my self esteem, I dont even know who the hell I AM anymore. Im doing this once again for the LAST TIME. I was wondering if my withdrawal symptoms will be as bad this time, because last time they werent to too bad, just couldnt sleep, eat, I was nauseas, Achey really bad. I was taking Clonidine for withdrawals, Promethazine for nausea/vomitting, valium for anxiety and just over the counter stomach meds. BUT I was only about 3-4 of the 10's a day. So My question is, Will it be different this time, even with the same meds?? Ive been using now since September of 07. I really need some support and advise. I cant believe I put myself in this position ONCE AGAIN, but I do suffer from migraine headaches and need the pain meds, but will NOT take them ever again, Anyone have advise for me, this time while I go through this once again?? all the help and support will get me through this, without this website, I wouldnt have gone through this last time. THANK YOU EVERYONE, Im just reaching out.

[louise65]

hot baths with epsom salts, lots of it, it works a treat, good luck

[Smiles Are Fake]

Thanks for the post back, I guess the Clonidine, Promethazine and valium are a god sent. its day 2 and Im feeling okay, Im just extremely achey but no other really side effects, I was tossing and turning all night, NOT BY CHOICE. I called the doc yesterday to get a script of Clonidine for myself and she never called back, she doesnt care, she gets to go home to her happy family, why would she care about giving me a script? I cant do this without the Clonidine, it helps me sleep and maintain my high hopes for myself.

I am going to do whatever it takes to kick his habit, if I was a FULL BLOWN addict I would have gotten something already, theres plenty of people and places but I dont want to be a junkie for the rest of my life. I pictured myself off the vikes and I felt on top of the world, minus a little anxiety with it, but I can over come that. Its the lack of sleep, and feeling achey and just miserable. I know this wont last forever, but I ammiserable without the clonidine, it helped me sleep and despressed my symptoms, trust Me I will get it one way or another to over come this!! Right now I took a valium and promethazine and a ibruprofen 800 and Im haning in there, I think im gonna go to bed, I feel drained. If anyone has any other advice Id appreciate it, I am here for you all no matter how horrible I feel I will manage to get on here quite often.


I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my story and blogs and to have some compassion towards me, it means sooo much to me, THANK YOU SO MUCH! much love to all of you and like I am always going to say "We are all going to succeed one time or another, just keep our heads high and clear and we can do this. Drugs ruin your life. You are all making a difference and making me look for other options its very much appreciated that people I dont know truely care. God has sent you.

[Jacqui805]

The best advice I can give you is that since you recognize what's going on, and want off, keep in mind that nothing lasts forever, especially the ability to take the damned pills in the first place...so, w/d is inevitable.  I'd think back while going through it, that you went through it before, and you can do it again..this too shall pass.  Also, that you do not want to have to do it again, so I'd be doing whatever it takes to get and stay clean.  Whatever works best for you here.  I think we're all different, and we require different things...there is no right way to get and stay clean, only what will be best for you.  I wish you strength.

[fishmeal]

Wow so some people just cant do that stuff?  Might be a blessing in disguise??  Clonidine does woders... I do remember that.  Just remember we have changed our brain's physiology and it's not like coke or booze ... it takes more time to come back to normal...

[Smiles Are Fake]

Hey! I remember you from before. I cannot take Suboxone, I have tried it with an addiction doctor and it made me SO SO SO sick, it made me get SEVERE migraines and I was so anxious and gittery and crying and felt like I was dying on it! I cant take that **** so I guess Im going to have to go through it the "old fashion"way. Use my Clonidine, Promethazine and Valium and just hope for the best, its been 24 hours, I feel OKAY. I have a little headache, Chills and My Body is ACHING so bad. Im getting through it though. I have no other options. Its not the mental part that hurt me last time when I got back on the Vicodin it was my Surgeries I had to get, I thought I would be fine after, but it just lead me back to where I am now, its the physical part that kills me, the mental I can tolerate.

[fishmeal]

If you're about to loose all, try finding the suboxone doctor and try that approach.  For me it was a no brainer... now I don't do all of the things we do trying to get the stupid drug and am so very relaxed!  Yes, I have been on it for almost 19 months now but happy I made the change.... funny thing is that sometime back, I decided to try and get high on norcos and ate about 12 in one day.... they did very little and went back on the subutex the very next morn without skipping a beat!  I'm at 16 o 24mgs a day and that is perfect for me.  It took a little time to get used to and when the doses... the dox usually let you decide or some do, cause you can't really get high.  It's like when we were normal with a good cup of coffee (for me anyway).  At first it made me a little sleepy but now.....

Look into it?

Do a search on suboxone and there is a website that they have that will search dox for you.

Best
Jim

don't loose your girl!

[newmanagment]

i read thru your post , and all the following comments, and about the only thing i wanna add is this. if you quit, then relapsed and increased your dosage, wut is gonna stop that from happening again? i ask this as a cocaine addict, mental addiction is the worst, and i think ya may wanna check out some aftercare, such as add. counseling, NA , or some form of meetings to help keep ya clean for at least the first year. i dont wanna see ya fight all thru the w/ds again, only to relapse once more. mental addiction can be helped, or at least i gotta pray it can be!! best of luck in the next couple weeks, we will be here as ya need us.....

[worried878]

I guess u will CT if u r out of pills...read up on the thomas recipe and the info in the health pages and get it done..in the long run it is a much better option and u will feel better...narcotics are not the best med for migraines and the stress they cause aggravates them i think...always worrying about where to get pills, how many i had left etc....lost of support here..keep posting

[louise65]

with determination like that you can do it, but its hard when you have a partner that doesnt understand addiction and its pull on us, i did the suboxone programme for about 8 months, it was good for changing your behaviour so its easier when you come off. it does cause w?ds but they can taper it slowly so it doesnt hurt too bad, i tried to get off too quick due to personal circumstances and hence relapsed pretty quick, but look into it you might find it of use. it sticks to your opiate receptors so there happy but no high, and it has nalaxone in it so if you try to use on top of it, it wont let that drug work, just another idea,good luck with whatever you choose, you can do it one way or another x

[Smiles Are Fake]

Thanks for the comment back, Yeah thinking of doing it all over again breaks my damn heart, But you are SO right, I thought about it last night, I dont wanna be running around looking for it, going to ERS, going to the dentist, im sick of it, thats not the person I used to be, I used to be SCARED to take an ADVIL now look at me. The hot hot baths did work for me, but this time I will use epsom salt, Just for you! =) Im more scared to go through this because of my girlfriend, she doesnt understand why I can be so sick, she thinks its all in my head thats the only thing that is making me NOT want to do this, but I am going too reguardless because I need to be better. I loved how I was when I was off of pills last time, 7 months clean and I was so outgoing, I had a damn LIFE! I want that back. Time for a new beginning. I know what im facing but I am up for the challenge with the correct medication, and support. I can do this. THANK YOU!

[Smiles Are Fake]

Thank you for commenting back!! Migraines are the worst. I cant stand them, They ruin my life. I was in the ER yesterday got a shot of toradol and my mom had given me 2 perk 10ms at 7pm, now I feel as though im withdrawing, is the race on now? I tried to count how many hours ive been clean, when I do that..It helps me want to acheive this even more. I counted from 7pm yesterday till now and its been 18 hours, is that true that when you start dexoting it starts whenever you take your last dose?? right now my legs are SOOOOO crampy and I am irritable and I have stomach/abdominal pain, is this really the start? I actually am hoping it is, because it will be the start to looking forward to a new beginning!!

[louise65]

its hell to think of having to do it al over again, i know im in the same position. get yourself some good drug counselling for support and take it from there, youve done it before you can do it again, i think it takes most people more than once to get off, the good thing is your willing to try again.think how good it would feel not to have to always be making sure youve got enough pills, chasing around trying to get enough, it would be so good to be free of that, good luck, one thing i found that helped with withdrawal last time was epsom salts, lots of it in a hot bath and stay in as long as you can, it made a big difference to me. i think its harder trying to get off subsequent times cos you know whats coming, so deep breath and have a go, what have you got to lose.

[Smiles Are Fake]

I know, I just hate feeling sick. I HATE IT. I know I can get through this. I did it last time, it was hard but I can. They have sucked out my life. I dont do ANYTHING anymore, I am miserable. I am kicking them to the curb, Ten years is a lot...What did you do to get off of them? how long have you been clean for? Im proud of you..thats such an achievement in itself. I remember last time on day 7 I feeling okay, Just hope its the same this time!! Im praying. Thank you for taking the time for writing me back.

[j34]

My thoughts are with you. I am on day 9 and i just try to take it easy on myself and know that sometimes I have to stay clean second by second .For the migraines I suffered from them for years and I used Tiger Balm . I put it between my eyes kinda on my foehead on the bridge of my nose(carefullyThat sh** is potent)
Also I  drink lots of water, dehydration will trick your body into thinking it is some other symtom. Good

[Sarah231]

Regardless of what the w/d symtoms are or how long they will last....
it is time to get OFF these drugs.

They suck out your life.
I was taking the same thing....
except for over TEN years.

Don't waste the time I have.
Just do it now.