Aa
OMG IM ALIVE REALLY ALIVE!!!!
OMG!!!! Im ALIVE!!!!! I have not felt this good in YEARS!!!!!!!!!
I could not stop saying that to myself today. For those of you that dont know me, Im 11 days clean off lortab, vicodin, roxy, oxy, whatever I could get my hands on, and good lord I felt like I was dying for the last 10 days. My mind and body tried every trick in the book to get me to use thru the withdrawal because it just hurt sooooo bad. It felt like my emotions and body were on a rollercoaster. So I did the only reasonable thing I could and said f*** it, might as well add some real rollercoasters to it!!!
Everybody here had told me just to get up and get out and I figured the kids had been cooped up for 10 days too so might as well go for it. Like atthebeach said "Fake it till You Make it!!!" Now let me tell you even yesterday I was pretty much still laying in the bed writhing on pain whole body hurting mind doing a number on me trying to talk me into just one pill. Well, I had read somewhere on here that you just get thru by not taking a pill NO MATTER WHAT, so thats what I did just kept sticking it out. And then I heard (from Gnarly1) that this battle is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental, and this battle is either won or lost in your own mind. So I took that and ran with it and decided I am going to win this battle. Now my mind and body were telling me to just lay in the bed feeling like I was dying or take another pill so I could feel better.
But I got on here and everyone was like NOOOO you have to get up and move, both to get the endorphins to your body and the feelings of accomplishment and doing something without the pills to your mind. And, let me tell you, turns out these people here, who have been through it before...they know EXACTLY what they are talking about. I just spent 9 hours at the amusement park with 3 kids, and had the time of my life!!! I had energy to keep moving, actually realized how sluggish and slow I had actually been on the pills, honey I aint moved like I did today in years!!! And something else I noticed, I was happy. I didnt get irritated at the kids at the lines at anything. Now, I didnt even realize that when I was on the pills, I actually didnt have any energy and was a grumpy b****. Matter of fact, probably until yesterday I would have argued just the opposite, that I Had to have the pills to function, that they gave me energy, made everything easier, made me happy and sociable. LIES!!!!!! Im here to tell you right now LIES!!!!
And I didnt have to sneak around, hide in bathrooms or whatever to pop a pill. That was nice! And now we just got back to our hotel room and I have a jacuzzi here so Im off to relax in there. Man, life is soooo good right now!!! Please anybody reading this, if your just starting out just keep going, fight it thru to the end...It is MORE THAN WORTH IT!!!!!!!
Loving my life right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
I could not stop saying that to myself today. For those of you that dont know me, Im 11 days clean off lortab, vicodin, roxy, oxy, whatever I could get my hands on, and good lord I felt like I was dying for the last 10 days. My mind and body tried every trick in the book to get me to use thru the withdrawal because it just hurt sooooo bad. It felt like my emotions and body were on a rollercoaster. So I did the only reasonable thing I could and said f*** it, might as well add some real rollercoasters to it!!!
Everybody here had told me just to get up and get out and I figured the kids had been cooped up for 10 days too so might as well go for it. Like atthebeach said "Fake it till You Make it!!!" Now let me tell you even yesterday I was pretty much still laying in the bed writhing on pain whole body hurting mind doing a number on me trying to talk me into just one pill. Well, I had read somewhere on here that you just get thru by not taking a pill NO MATTER WHAT, so thats what I did just kept sticking it out. And then I heard (from Gnarly1) that this battle is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental, and this battle is either won or lost in your own mind. So I took that and ran with it and decided I am going to win this battle. Now my mind and body were telling me to just lay in the bed feeling like I was dying or take another pill so I could feel better.
But I got on here and everyone was like NOOOO you have to get up and move, both to get the endorphins to your body and the feelings of accomplishment and doing something without the pills to your mind. And, let me tell you, turns out these people here, who have been through it before...they know EXACTLY what they are talking about. I just spent 9 hours at the amusement park with 3 kids, and had the time of my life!!! I had energy to keep moving, actually realized how sluggish and slow I had actually been on the pills, honey I aint moved like I did today in years!!! And something else I noticed, I was happy. I didnt get irritated at the kids at the lines at anything. Now, I didnt even realize that when I was on the pills, I actually didnt have any energy and was a grumpy b****. Matter of fact, probably until yesterday I would have argued just the opposite, that I Had to have the pills to function, that they gave me energy, made everything easier, made me happy and sociable. LIES!!!!!! Im here to tell you right now LIES!!!!
And I didnt have to sneak around, hide in bathrooms or whatever to pop a pill. That was nice! And now we just got back to our hotel room and I have a jacuzzi here so Im off to relax in there. Man, life is soooo good right now!!! Please anybody reading this, if your just starting out just keep going, fight it thru to the end...It is MORE THAN WORTH IT!!!!!!!
Loving my life right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Nikki, thank you so much! It helps me so much to get comments like that and know that I may be of some help to someone. I came here 11 days ago desperate in need of just someone to talk to, someone who knew what I was going thru, some support, anything. And man did I get it! I wouldnt have made it this far without being able to post like crazy on here and for all the wonderful people here to support you in your best and weakest moments, because somewhere someone has been thru what your going thru exactly. I dont think I would have made it without this place here and all the wonderful people and their support and I hope you find the same! Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! :)
Wow.. :) You have changed soooo much, but for the better!!! I'm crying because I"m soooooo happy for you! :D We needed a post like this here :) And don't you ever forget that YOU did this :)
We told you it'd all be worth it in the end ;)
Almost every time I read a post that talks about how hard and how much he ll it is this song comes to mind...I'm sure most of not all of you, have heard it, if not, go youtube it :) I think it's awesome :)
If You're Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins
Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back
That says I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can't get worse than that
And then they do
You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'
But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be prayin'
Guess what I'm sayin'
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
We told you it'd all be worth it in the end ;)
Almost every time I read a post that talks about how hard and how much he ll it is this song comes to mind...I'm sure most of not all of you, have heard it, if not, go youtube it :) I think it's awesome :)
If You're Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins
Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back
That says I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can't get worse than that
And then they do
You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'
But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be prayin'
Guess what I'm sayin'
[Chorus]
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
Thank you! You are always so positive and I guess its contagious and I caught it!!! Maybe Thats why I seem different in a good way :) And thank you for posting that song, I have actually had that play thru my head a few times, awesome song and awesome message for times like these!
that a girl. thats what i was waiting to hear. wow if thats what roller coasters do to you, you should live at the amusement park.lol i am so happy that you had a great day and i am sure your children were also extremely happy they spend a wonderful day with mom and she had fun and didnt yell at us. yea. :) what a difference a day makes. you keep on pressing forward. you sound so positive, postive attitude is what we keep saying it does catch on. i am so happy for you. keep telling yourself that you are happy, you are beautiful, you are drug free, you are doing this, you are loved,
may the LORD continue to bless you and keep you
debbie
may the LORD continue to bless you and keep you
debbie
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