What is better? Subs? Methadone or cold tukey in a hospital

[epiphany147]

I don't know where to start. I have been taking up to 20 pills of 30 mg roxycodone a day . And the crazy thing is that I function!  I am wondering if I should just check myself into a dotox hospital and go cold turky. This hospital is government funded, so I am not going into a Dr. Drew setting if you know what I mean.
  I don't want to try methadone. I have heard it is harder to get off of and the withdeaws are even worse.
I think Suboxone is similar. I don't know what to do.  
I feel like a real **** for putting my poor husband through all of my bull ****. Thing is... he still loves me and wants to help. So he must see something in me that I don't.
   What I do know... Is that I HAVE TO STOP!  Does anyone know what the best suggestion is?
I plan on checking into the detox hospital on Monday Jan 25th.
God Bless

[gnarly_1]

hey girleee well you have done great tapering from 20 to 5 a day what you have been experiencing is withdrawals dont let them frighten you its your bodys way of getting the poison out the withdrawals you will experience in the hospital will probably be no worst then what you have all ready gone thew tapering so quickly...so dont be scared of withdrawals embrace the freedom they will bring you in the end ...use the symptoms to strengthen your resolve to quit and never forget the experience...for a successful
recovery you will need to have some aftercare in place...there is a lot more to geting clean then just detoxing....a good drug conslor or N/A will help you thew the mental
part of getting and staying clean..so find some now it will help you greatly...in the end
it is so so worth it...good luck and god bless...Gnarly    

[Calamity2]

I agree that it would be better for you if you can taper starting TODAY the fewer you take the less stress on you when you go to detox. If you can keep your dose lower today I dont believe it will put you into any serious withdrawal. Just keep postponing taking another pill delay it until your read some posts and post. BE HONEST with yourself. The addict in you will lie and say it will be fine I'm going to detox on monday I'm going to have my FUN today blah blah blah.  NO addiction is not having FUN.  If you can get down to 100mgs today or near there try to take less tommrow.  and sunday. Then monday will not be as shocking to your system.  It WILL be o.k  the withdrawal monster isnt half as bad as you think.  God bless Congrats on your decision

[Dafishman]

Hey girl I know exactly what you mean!! One thing I am sure of is that our willpower is never strong enough to just say no. That is why we are here. We have got to tap into a power greater than ourselves,,,,God ! Keep praying and trusting Him, use us for support. Be brutally honest about your situation with yourself & God and he will lead you to freedom.

Here is a great Psalms to read for help.


Psalm 143
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, hear my prayer,
       listen to my cry for mercy;
       in your faithfulness and righteousness
       come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
       for no one living is righteous before you.

3 The enemy pursues me,
       he crushes me to the ground;
       he makes me dwell in darkness
       like those long dead.

4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
       my heart within me is dismayed.

5 I remember the days of long ago;
       I meditate on all your works
       and consider what your hands have done.

6 I spread out my hands to you;
       my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
       Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
       my spirit fails.
       Do not hide your face from me
       or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
       for I have put my trust in you.
       Show me the way I should go,
       for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
       for I hide myself in you.

10 Teach me to do your will,
       for you are my God;
       may your good Spirit
       lead me on level ground.

11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
       in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
       destroy all my foes,
       for I am your servant.


He will destroy your enemies !!

Keep posting and stay in touch. We all need each other!

Dafishman

[Dafishman]

Hey Moonshyne777 you are soooooo right about the fight for our souls. The devil wants us in bondage and in pain. he is a sick muttha!!  You are in my prayers for Monday.

Stay strong !!

Dafishman

[moonshyne777]

It doesn't sound crazy because it IS a battle for your soul. The devil will try and trick us. I know he did it to me. I went ct last June and made it almost 2 months when he convinced me to just try and take them as prescribed...yeah right. Now here I am ready to go ct again and I'm going ct off of double the amount I took last time.

I wish I could go into the hospital or rehab to detox but having 2 young toddlers to care for that is simply not an option. I am blessed however with a wonderful grandmother who knows whats going on with me and she will be coming up Sunday night. Monday is my start day is she will be here more for emotional support through this but will also help out with the kids.

My husband also knows whats going on and although he works full time will be helping out more then usual when he gets home at night.

You CAN do this and you sound very determined and I think likdafishman is right in that setting up some aftercare will be important in staying clean once you make it through the initial detox.

Keep posting and see if your allowed to bring a laptop to the hospital. That way you can post from there, this board is a Godsend to people looking to recover from this horrible addiction.

[sweatinit]

Hi Epiphany! Glad you found us! Congrats on your decision to stop using pills. I beleive that God lead me here to this site. I would pray, ask for forgiveness and then doo it all over agian. This went on for months. Finally one day ( 19 days ago) God gave me the courage and fotitude to stop. Keep praying and remember that He doesn't make junk. You husband sees that too. Good luck on your journey, Keep posting here it really helps with recovery. XXOO

[epiphany147]

Hello, I thank you for such a speedy responce.
For the past week I have been tapering off and I am at 4 to 5 a day.
I have been having hellish nightmares, sweats, chills ect...
to be honest...I am afraid of the hospital. But I think that is what is needed.
  I just need to have the will power to SAY NO when I do get these pills out of my body & get clean.

  For over 7 months now, I have been doing nothing but Praying to God to Please Help me with this addiction. As crazy as this may sound, this seems like a battle for my soul.

I thank you for your encouragement.

God Bless You!

epiphany147

[Dafishman]

Hello and welcome.

Detoxing at a hospital is probably a good idea for you because of the volume you are taking. Just make the appointment and keep it,, no excuse just go. Life will continue while you are starting your recovery and restoration. Start tapering now! It will help you once you go CT.  get into an aftercare program too.

PRAY PRAY & PRAY!!  

Your decision is a great one. You will have pain then gain and eventually FREEDOM BABY!!

Stay plugged in with us and keep posting.

Live and Love Life clean!!

God bless,

Dafishman