Hello,
I recently went on a trip for work, and was prescribed Xanax to help me sleep and to fly. I currently live in Belgium, and I went to a Belgian doctor who handed me a hundred of these pills and told me to take as needed. She did not offer suggestions about the dosing, and did not tell me how horribly addictive these pills could be.
Long story short, I took them over a period of 21 days, probably a little under, on average, 2 mg a day. I mostly took 1 mg at night to help me sleep, but there were days when I am certain I took more. All I knew was that they really helped me sleep, and they helped calm the anxiety and stress of the trip on the rare occasions I took one during the day.
When I arrived back home, I took a MG a night to help with sleep, and one day I woke up and realized that I was still taking these pills, and I wondered why. I was suddenly, for no reason, panic stricken and threw them in the trash. The final day I took .5 mg, and into the trash they went.
My life has been a living hell ever since. I suffer from insomnia, intense, intense anxiety (that has me up pacing at night), fear that I have damaged myself beyond all hope of recovery, and irritation issues. The symptoms started the same day, and have continued for the duration of the time I have been cold turkey on this drug - approximately 12 days.
My questions are these:
*I have since realized that I may have not done the right thing by going cold turkey. I did not understand what I was doing, at all. Be that as it may, how long do these symptoms typically last? Good grief, I though quitting chewing tobacco was bad, but this is incredibly unpleasant.
*My thoughts now center on coming on home back to America and finding a good addiction specialist (a doctor, I suppose) who can help me get through this. Would it be better to do so, even if the doctor wishes to put me on a substitute drug and ween me off of that?
*Are these really withdrawal symptoms? I am currently seeing a counselor now (who has diagnosed me as an alcoholic/binge drinker, btw, if that is of relevance, which I assume it is) who seems to believe that this is mostly anxiety issues that existed before I started taking Xanax. Also, I have been to doctors here, as well as the hospital, and I was told that Xanax is out of the system in 7 days, so I should not be experiencing these withdrawal symptoms still. How true is that?
*Any clue as to when I might start feeling better? That is the scariest part, when I am laying alone in my bed at home at night. Not knowing if I will ever start feeling better. I also made the mistake of reading about protracted withdrawal syndrome, and that scared the **** out of me. How likely is it that I will experience this, given the time and dosage of my use?
*How are you guys dealing with this stuff, assuming what I have is indeed withdrawal symptoms? I start feeling better for a day, finally feel like I am getting a grip, and then that same night, boom, I am up all night with the most intense anxiety I have ever felt.
*I know that I am out of the danger zone (well, at least I think I know) for seizures and stuff, but honestly, with what I am feeling now, I almost wish I would seize up and pass out for a couple of days. I might finally get some temporary relief.
Ok, any help or guidance you might be able to provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!