Pregnant and going through Vicodin Withdrawl

[MomOfTwins08]

I recently found out I am pregnant and was taking about 7 or 8 vicodin a day at the time. I quit cold turkey on Friday, so I have had none Saturday, Sunday or today. Tomorrow starts day 4. I have been miserable. One thing that makes me angry about these boards is that a lot of people tell people who are going through withdrawals to go the ER.  Well, I did but they couldn't give me anything because you have to have a special license to prescribe Suboxone/Subutex and no one there had one and they told me they doubt most ER MD's have a license to distribute Suboxone. And I live in one of the 3 biggest cities in the country. So, I called a few addiction specialists in the area and no one could see me for a month. I talked to one on the phone and she almost was going to get me a script but then she wanted to talk to my husband and he is traveling for work for the next week. When I told her no simply because he was not there she would not give it to me. So, cold turkey has been my only option. Heck, I would go to detox but I have 2 profoundly disabled sons and no one to care for them (although I have barely been able to care for them being pregnant and going through detox).  Oh, when I was in the ER and told them I was pregnant and mentioned that I had a lot of pain they gave me an ultrasound and found a huge ovarian cyst. And guess what the doctor wrote a script for??!! Vicodin!!! When he handed it to me I said "you know I came in here to quit vicodin" and he told me too bad and that pain can cause contractions in the uterus and I could miscarry. He told me I "had" to take them until I could get some Suboxone/Subutex. What? A month? I talked to my oby/gyne and she did NOT want me taking vicodin for the next month, so I have no choice but  CT. I am so miserable and have tried to read when this will be over but it seems so varied for everyone. Some say they felt great by day 5 whereas others said it took weeks. I don't know what to think. I can't eat. I have horrible headaches, chills, sweats, restless legs that make me want to chop my legs off, no sleep and more all while caring for 2 severely disabled toddlers. I can't take it but I have no choice. I have looked up every doctor licensed to give Suboxone in my area and NO ONE can get me in. I guess I just need some encouragement and a little advice. Mind you I can't take any blood pressure stuff or sleep aide or other things people have said helped. I doubt I can even take a lot of herbal remedies. Tomorrow is day 4 and I feel like I can't even face it but it will come no matter what. I need to be able to keep food down and sleep!  Any advice or warm thoughts welcome.

[annabellelovesthomas]

Many prayers for you!!! I have been there!! What helped me was being switched to klonopin , clonidine, and neurontin, I have a seizure disorder,i had been on benzos and vicodin for 15 years,. I have a healthy 16 year old, only problem is severe gir drama lol, and an 8 month old, and am currently pregnant again.. i cant imagine your stress and hardships....vitamins and mineral supplements , omega 3 fish oils are great!!!, helped me enormously. I eat organics and seeds for extra protein and take folic acid.. please check with a doctor, i know what jerks they can be, and i have had bad experiences with them too( who hasnt lmao!!).. try to keep your spirits up and know that people out there do care and have you in their prayers!! Best of luck, congradulations!!!

[dominosarah]

Does your OB know you are ordering pills online?  That is not always safe either.

[MomOfTwins08]

Thanks so much for everyone's help, support and advice. I do want to say this just because maybe I feel defensive or I want to convince myself but I have done a ton and I mean a TON of research about xanax and vics and birth defects and both have been demonstrated to have NO increase in birth defects. There was a period that it was believed that xanax DID increase birth defects like cleft lip, but that has all been discredited. Even the BabyCenter expert said no increase in birth defects like once thought, but the risk with both is having an addicted baby. I have read several current medical journals and all say that there is no increase in birth defects for a mother on xanax, particularly if the mother was not on more than a therapeautic dose (2 mg a day or less). I have been on .5 mg. Not saying that this is good, but based upon the probably 40 hours of research I have done, there is no increase in birth defects, but if taken in the third trimester it can cause addiction in the baby and low birth weight. I DO NOT want to have my baby go through detox. I figure if I stop now I can take the pain and none for my little one. I am certainly not saying that xanax and vics are healthy for a fetus. I mean really who knows. Heck, you can't take asprin while pregnant. As a matter of fact when I was in the ER and protesting the vicodin script the MD told me that he would rather have me on vicodin than aspirin or ibuprofen because it is safer. Am I still worried about birth defects? Of course! But everything I have read says it is not indicated. They believe prior studies were tainted by other medications that are frequently given with xanax such as Celexa, Paxil ect.. These DO increase the chance of birth defects and rarely is a person given xanax without being given an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. I was prescribed one but never took it because it gave me extreme insomnia and even aggravated my condition. So, I am still concerned and if there is something wrong with my baby and it has nothing to do with the pills and even if every expert in the world tells me so, I will always wonder and blame myself. But all the recent data says no. The biggest risk is dependence. And if I can't kick this and keep putting it off and thinking I have time, I am going to have an addicted baby which is the worst thing I can think of. Not to mention they will call the state on me and investigate me. I worry all the time that my oby/gyne will call. She asks me all the time how I am doing with the pills and I am honest and she says that I did not get into this overnight and I am not going to get out of it overnight but I have to be committed and keep decreasing. She wants me stopped. But she has never once said "it is my duty to tell you that you are putting your baby at risk for birth defects." And I have spoken with her very frankly about my huge fear of having another disabled child because of our genetic past and talked about the risks of the pills and she has never implied or warned me of birth defects, just addiction. And she knows that I don't feel I can handle another disabled child. Just my two cents. But I love that you are concerned about me and the baby and letting me know that I do not have to go through this alone. It means the world to me just to have someone read my posts and care enough to answer. You guys are awesome!

[Ashelen]

Sweetheart I don't mean to repeat myself but you HAVE to find a doctor. No they're not likely to give you narcotics but at this point, that's a moot point. You should be detoxed from the narcotics.

the huge problem here is the xanax...xanax and valium are both known for causing birth defects. Sorry to be blunt, but it's true; they're avoided during the first trimester and RARELY prescribed in desperate situations during the 2nd.

But quitting cold turkey can be dangerous. so you need to call, and call, and call until you find a doctor to safely taper you off of the xanax, or the valium, or whatever you're on.

At this point it's not about making the withdrawals more comfortable for you, or staying out of trouble, at this point it's vital for the baby's health that you see a doctor....continuing with the benzos could be disastrous, but quitting too quickly could be too.

You need help with this...you do NOT have to do this alone.

[MomOfTwins08]

Ok, I got scared and ordered some Valium which I should get Thursday morning. I have not done this for months and swore I would never do it again. I am so afraid of having a seizure and there is no way I can spend the day on the phone calling doctors. I don't think any doctor is going to take on a pregnant and addicted new patient and give her more narcotics. They are going to say go to rehab and good luck. I went to rehab a few months ago. Obviously it did not stick. Well, not that it did not stick, they never got me clean. I got there on a Wed afternoon and they released me on Sat morning. So, I was there a whole 2 full days - thurs and friday. Obviously that was not enough time to do anything. They gave me NOTHING for my benzo addiction and at the time they admitted me I was up to 10 mg a day. That is why I thought taking .5 mg a day lately was pretty darn good. I shook the whole time I was there and was terrified of having a seizure. There was no doctor on the ward and one only came for an hour in the morning and of course everyone wanted to see him. I expressed constantly to the nurses that I could not stop shaking and that I was terrified of having a seizure. They just would shake their heads and say there was nothing ordered for me and there was nothing they could do and to talk to the doctor about it in the morning. Well, I never saw the doctor except the day they admitted me and the day they released me. I felt it was way too early. I did not discharge myself but they said bye. I bet it was an insurance issue but they did not say that. I was actually glad though because I thought these idiots are going to kill me making me cold turkey off 10mg of xanax a day. I did not want to go home to use, I wanted to get home to use and stop the seizure I was sure I was going to have. I came home and took one .5 and have kept it low like that until Saturday when I quit the vicodin. I was miserable but I did go from 10 mg a day to cold turkey for 2 and a half days and then drastically reduced it for months. I just wanted to take enough to not have a seizure. I sure never felt high or even much anxiety relief. They did give me a script for Suboxone for 5 days. Well, I took it to the pharmacy and they did not have any and they called 8 other pharmacies in the area and they did not have any either. They had to order it and the earliest they could get it was a week!  I said order it but after not being on anything for over a week I figured why go get it. I did go try to pick it up a few days after the week just to see if I would feel more comfortable and my insurance would not pay for it and it was super, super expensive and I figured it is only a script for 5 days and I felt ok and had nothing for over a week so why take an opiate. I called to try to get it over the weekend and they said they needed the MD permission to give it to me because it had been months. Well, I guess he did not give permission as they would not give it to me. I guess I don't blame the doctor as he has not seen me for months and obviously I am using again (like they ever really got me off it, I got myself off it for about 6 weeks) and he has no idea how much or anything. So, I am screwed no matter which way I turn. Therefore I went back to a source I swore I would never do again and had not for a very long time. I felt so ashamed doing it. I just want enough to help me taper and be done. I don't want to have a seizure and I don't want to hurt myself or my baby. I would so much rather do this under a doctor's supervision but I swear it is impossible to find someone to take me as a patient. Again, I called every addiction doctor within about 35 miles of me and none of them could get me in for about a month and that was the earliest, some were much longer. I explained my situation and how desperate I was and they told me to go to the ER. Did it! Didn't do anything! Or go to rehab. Did that too and they kept me for a full 2 days (4 days if you count the afternoon I checked in and the morning they discharged me) which did nothing.  I wonder if it was an insurance thing or if they just needed the bed or something. I don't know but I know you can't get off the stuff I was taking in 4 days. I got myself off AFTER rehab. Anyway, hopefully I can make it through tomorrow with only a couple of xanax and hopefully the valium will come, who knows it may not. I ordered valium not xanax because I hear xanax is 20 times stronger than valium and valium has a much longer half life so you can take it less often and wean better. Praying this works. Sick of all of this. I can't believe I am in this situation. I don't even drink!  I just couldn't deal with my sons' disability and how severe their behavior is and how intense their care is. I was diagnosed with arthritis along with a couple of other pain conditions and was prescribed Vicodin and just upon hearing about my 2 sons the doctor gave me xanax and said he didn't know how I did it. I never meant to get addicted. I guess no one does. I just needed more and more to deal with the pain as it would stop working. Then I would run out and realize how much better I could handle life on the stuff and decided it was my answer. How stupid was I?!! God, please let tomorrow be better and healing. Let me get through the day and feel better. Help me get off this junk and be the mommy I am supposed to be.

[Bkitty]

Im saying extra prayers tonight for you sweetie!!! Im asking God to hold you really tight right now,,,You are NOT a bad momma or bad person. I agree with ashleen you have got to find a doctor to help you asap. You will get thru this I promise,,remember its ok sometimes to not be "ok" and you came to the right place,,is there a close friend or someone you can confide in? stay close here there are some great folks that have amazing advice. Hugs~

[Ashelen]

I am so angry that you were treated this way....I'm glad you seem to be through the worst of it with the vicodin, but please do not quit the xanax cold turkey. Xanax can cause seizures in even an adult when stopped abruptly, and can wreak havoc during pregnancy if quit quickly.

If your OB or primary care doctor will not help you, spend every second on the phone tomorrow finding one who will. Please do not do this on your own.

I know you are trying to do the best for your baby, and I can feel the desperation in your words, but you do NOT have to do this alone. Your doctors may be callous and clueless, but most doctors are NOT and you should NOT be suffering like this.

Please please please find a doctor to help you with this sweetheart, you and baby both need help and if your doctor won't do it - call until you find one who will.

[MomOfTwins08]

Today sucked. Headache, no energy, still can't keep food down.  All the good stuff. Worse than yesterday. Probably worse day yet. I can't believe how for days can feel like 4 months. Tomorrow is day 5. And now I have a new fear. I have been taking xanax too but not much (like .5 a day or maybe 1.5 - 3 of the .5 ml on a bad day). But I have been taking A LOT more since going through withdrawals. Honestly I didn't think much about them because I have never craved them or obsessed about them. But I will run out tomorrow and started taking a lower amount because I was taking a lot on the first few days of detoxing from vicodin.  I honestly don't even know how much. But that stuff is dangerous! Less than a week ago a single .5 would put me to sleep at night for 8 hours. Now 2 and a half doesn't even put me to sleep. I am feeling the extreme anxiety from quickly dropping them. The anxiety is insane. I am scared to even drive but have to, I am terrified when I run out tomorrow and all I keep hearing about is Grand Mal seizures and how this stuff is harder to come off than heroin and I am still detoxing from vics CT. I am miserable and terrified. And Thanksgiving is next week and all these people are supposed to come to my house and I can't even get up to clean it. I feel like a rotten mother and person. I would have never got caught up in this stuff if I thought I could ever get pregnant. I was told by 2 fertility specialists that I would NEVER conceive on my own. They even told me to have my uterus removed because it was useless basically. I had my twins by IVF. So, I was abusing these drugs to deal with my twins severe disability and boom, I became pregnant. There is a HUGE chance that this baby will have the same severe, permanent and life long disability as my twins. I can't even handle the thought of this. Then quitting vics and finally realizing I am going to have to CT xanax tomorrow is all too much. I am trying to keep busy but it is impossible. All I did last night was rock in bed for hours, so much so that my butt muscle actually ached but I couldn't stop. I had the restless legs and creepy crawlies so bad I could not stand it. I could not be still to save my life but become breathless when I get up. I have already been to the ER and I know they can't do anything for me. I feel trapped. And my husband knows NOTHING nor will I ever tell him. This is hell on earth and I can't imagine doing more days. Tomorrow is day 5 for the vics and I guess day 1 for the xanax. All I feel is misery.

[avisg]

I can not belive they way you have been treated you like this  going off CT puts you a risk of miscarriage or pre mature labor .
Is there any way for you to do a slow taper or are u out all together .
Is there a way to taper until u can see a sub doctor ?
I am so sorry you are going thre this .Plz let us know what happens ..

[newlifeahead]

i would LOVE to know what kind of dr would tell his/her patient to smoke pot esp a PREGNANT one... he/she should not have a license... and i would not be giving advise to a pregnant woman to do this... it is very hard to w/d off this stuff but it is doable i did it and so have many others,...momoftwins how r u doing today? its been a  while since u posted i hope things r ok please post and let everyone know u r ok

[jlannaa]

i also have been down this road'CT' it took a few weeks for me to feel better but then my belly starting growing and i felt healthy and the weird thing is i didnt think about pills again until they gave them to me after i had the baby , hopefully soon the only thought in your head will be is it a boy or girl and getting everything ready for the baby , i wish you and your babies all the best in the world :)

[goincrzyincali]

I  am not a dr but i have been an addict of over 15 yrs on vics ect all pain killers i have been pregnant 3 times in those years and i had to tell my ob, and he told me to smoke maryj and i never have liked it ever but it helps.Now i dont know if you have and or even want to try and dont get stoned just take one or two puffs it will help you to eat and also with the w/ds. I dont know if you can bring this up to your ob i was close with mine. and alot of drs can give scrips even your reg dr. but only make it an option if nothing is working.And your ok with it. And its all natural and used for cancer patients and other illness, i am detoxing on day 5 and i feel so much better today. I have energy went walking cleaned and made dinner for my family. and i have only been on advil and cold meds to sleep. and for the leg cramps take hot showers and use ben gay or tiger balm. and i wish you the best.sorry i cant help with more. but it will be better at day 5 just hang in there. and just read all the post here it helps to pass the time and take your mind off of it for awhile...good luck

[meg321]

Went thru this myself but it was methodone and I finally went to a dotox and stayed for a month....thats another story.

I think you are very brave by the way. I am so sorry you are going thru this..its so hard to believe how uncaring Drs  seemingly are.

I remember trying to get some help and I found out that if you crying and sounding like you may hurt yourself, they get busy very fast, at least it worked for me.  Actually, i wasn't acting I was desperate, but I did learn something.

I will keep you in my thoughts....good luck with this....

hugs, meg

[newlifeahead]

i know this is hard i have also done it pregnant i know EXACTLY what it feels like and it is HARD:( however u have 3 days down adn tommorrow is day 4 u have to be strong and get through tommorrow i hope it is better for u most say day 4 is not so good and sadly it wasnt for me either but day 5 turned around u only have a couple more days fo the really bad stuff. As for people saying it takes weeks it does to start getting everythign abck i am at day 43 and still having some issues BUT everyday it really does get better. U r doing the right thing here it is hard to be pregnant and on these pills u will have ur life back and a new baby:) keep going strong i know it is hard i had to take care of ,y 10 month old son it was NOT easy but i jsut stayed busy even when i felt like i could even stand up... walking will help i know u dont feel like it but even around the block it helps ur brain start producing endorhans on its own which is what it is missing...i wil lbe prayign for u and keep posting it will help i tell people to post ur way through the rough spots even if that is every 10 min u will get people to encourage u through this. whatever u do dont go back u never want to have to do these days over agian i promise u that

[HelpMe305]

First of all, let me say that you are one strong person. I could only imagine the pain your going through right now. As for all the medical part of detoxing, I don't know but it seems to me that you have made it a long way already. Day 5 congratulation!!!! You impress me, make myself look bad but u found myself pregnant about 6 months ago and wOw can I say I felt like I was going to die w the morning sickness, I couldn't go through the WD. I chickened and took the easy way out and decided to terminate.  All I can say is whether you feel like it or not, you have made tremendous progress already. Keep your head up and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Kendraerika]

I'm 10 wks 3 days pregnant. I am also 11 days clean. I went c/t and had a hard time taking care if my 2 yr old. I had to force myself to do the minimum. I feel horrible about it, but she wasnt neglected, and I had to take care if me, so I could be better for her. It is doable. I kno you fear for your unborn child. At 4 days, baby should be fine, BUT I'M NOT A DOCTOR. My baby us fine, and so is my friends who also did c/t while pregnant. Most would say taper, but id bee hesitant to go back when your 4 days clean.  I understand that you can't take the normal meds, as I did not take anything at all, not even the immodium. Your are doing good coming here, keep posting, and we will help you as much as we can.