Still emotional...why???

[sickntired08]

Even though I am tapering off of my Norco with Vicodin, with a Doctor's hhelp.(4 vic per day for two weeks, then three per day for two weeks, then 2 per day, etc).  I used to take at least 10 Norco per day...I have been crying for two days straight!!! What the heck is this??
or foget I asked, I know the answer.  I started using painkillers after my sister died at the age of 21 in a tragic accident during a rave type festival 5 years ago.  I truly was in pain from migraines and emotionally...duh.  Then I just kept using as we all do, and became addicted, and just kept working the system to my advantage to get more of whatever I needed, Norco preferably.  I never have bought any off the street, but I am sure I would have if I had the right connections.

I also wonder if taking Ultram ER(pain doc had me take that to get off Norco for 2 weeks) has anything to do with this emotional stuff.
I realize that I am actually experiencing one of the steps in the 12 step program...the one where you apologize for the pain you caused while using..becuase I have been apologizing like a crazy person, even to the ex husband/deadbeat Dad...and whiny was I this morning on the phone afraid to tell him about my problem thinbking he would take our kids from me.  Knowing he could NEVER since he hasn't even seen them in over 2 years now.

Anyway, anyone else feeling this way???? I know I am still using the meds, but I am taking one 4 times a day so that I don't get high...not that I was anymore anyway, I was just using to function.  I haven't felt high in a long time now.

But, I do want to get and stay sober, and feel real feelings again, and I know that the person who tells me I can't do this is JUST THE NORCO TALKING!!!! IT'S THE DRUGS TRYING TO GET ME TO TAKE MORE THAN I AM TAKING SO THAT I CAN BE UNDER THEIR SPELL AGAIN!!!!

[luppygirl]

I really hope that you stop taking the Ultram. Those have worse withdrawals then anything and they have also been known to cause seizures.  I would hate to see that happen after all this hard work

[sickntired08]

Thank you, I do have some of the aminos on this page, I just don't take the ones that had the caution about being on an antidepressant, I take Prozac and didn't know if those would interfere.

But, I do notice that the multivitamin/mineral and the B vitamins do a lot for me by the end of the day.  It's the beginning that I have a had time with.  I think that is just the way it is for now.

I am actually hopeful this time that I will do this, and go to meetings, feel not so alone, and kick this habit so that I can feel these feelings in a real way...not just run to something to hide them.  In turn teaching my children to do the same...

ok, I had horrible insomnia and now I am feeling better...thank you...off to try to get more sleep!

[sickntired08]

Thank you for your words! and they all ring true! I am also having a hard time sticking with the dose I am supposed to take.  So far I took one less on one day, so then the opiate addict in me starting talking a little smack in my brain and I took the extra yesterday.

Then I wake up now, at 2 am with quite the headache, almost migraine, and realize that I was not only in w/d's but PMS-ing as well...hence all the tears.  So, I took an Ibuprofen and got on here, and will TRY to just take the 4 I am supposed to today.  I notice that if I just take one pill every 2-3 hours, I did much better with the w/d.
I still shouls have done this CT and been over it. But, I do feel this is the right way to go, and I had done CT many times before too...just had meds within a few hours or days at the latest when the script got filled or I talked my way into getting it filled.

At least now I have told my family members and am getting support from them.  That is a big start for me.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Emotional roller coaster is a very common thing. Just keep on going through this. After a while things will even out some. Look at the Health Pages here and read up on amino acids and vitamins etc.. They will help your body recover faster.

Do not take Ultrams, though. It is a synthetic opiate and can be highly addictive to an opiate user.

[CR_ST_NA]

i think what you are feeling right now is real emotions, just try not to medicate them. if you didn't morn properly over your sister's death or break up from ex or anything you medicated with pills, that stuff will start to come up and let it. let it out! crying is your body's way of getting rid of toxins, so look at is as a good flush. i feel your pain. i've been there so many times. just hang in there and if you're going to taper, then taper and get it over with. i could never taper, i always ended up taking more than i was supposed to. best of luck and god bless, im here if you need to chat. im gonna take a nap soon, but ill check in with ya later. christina

[cathy5841]

hi, being emotional is a part of the w/ds...as long as you are tapering or cutting back on your dose you will be in w/ds.  they are not as bad as going cold turkey, but youare still in constant w/ds til you are done.  hope this helps.  keep going!!!