Halfway through Day 4.. Need a little encouragement

[dedicatedtostop]

This day has been so Blah!! I will admit, since I was only the pills about a week, I haven't had it near as hard now! But..... This day *****!! Idk perhaps I should complain. I just need to hear that I am almost there. I will be heading to my next meeting Tommorow.! Stupid carpal tunnel is acting up and my fingers have been numb for days now. It's starting to irritate me! On a positive note, I took a hot bath today. Husband is at the office but my oldest will be home anytime now then we are off to get my youngest. They keep me distracted. Just need to get through this day!

[dedicatedtostop]

I am starting to relax a bit more. My Mom is gone and my 8 yr old is staying w my inlaws. I have been on the back deck just lounging in a chair. Not sure what happened. I felt okay lastnight and early this morning. The only thing I did differently today is that I didn't lay down for a nap. I am starting to feel better now and I think I may go lay down and watch T.V for a bit.
Still having a hard time processing the fact that IBK is gone:(

[Danny111]

Try to relax and rest as much as possible.  Eat whatever you feel like or not if you don't want to.  and don't overdo things.  It's nice that you don't have to hide things from your mother.  At least you don't have to feel like crap inside but pretend everything's fine.

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank You! I was feeling decent lastnight and " okay " when I got up this am but now I feel like Hell..... And so darn sad

[Frogger76]

That truly was devastating news. But just know she's still pushing for ya, we all are! Hope your day gets better. Take care...

[dedicatedtostop]

:(.... I feel like hell, my Mom's here, I haven't been much help to her, feeling as though I could pass out then I just read that an have now thrown up twice!!! This ***** in so many ways!! Perhaps the only thing that keeps me going now is knowing how hard she pushed me to be clean

[Danny111]

Hey Dedicated,

I saw.  She was only 62.  She had posts as recently as 8/1/15 helping people.
Kinda puts things in perspective sadly.

I'm sorry you're having a tough day either way.

[dedicatedtostop]

Dannnnnnnnny!!!!!!!! I came here to whine about not feeling well.... At all!!
Then I just ready Sarah's post about IBK an literally just threw up :(

[Danny111]

I feel the same way now regarding the importance of being close to family.  I'm closer to my parents now than I ever was.  Both are in their early 80's and my father is in the early stages of alzheimer's.  I'm taking them on vacation for a week leaving next weekend.  I may be ready to strangle both by the end but it means a lot to them and we probably don't have all that much time left to spend together.

I'm very close with my daughter as well.  She's a teacher in her late 20's.  

[tramuser99]

Congrats on day 6 and keeping yourself fairly busy. Also kudos for having ur husband throw the pills away, once you start feeling better it's real easy to convince yourself to treat yourself with just one which we all know where that leaves.

[dedicatedtostop]

I envy that you live in Cali! I dislike Indiana so much!! My parents keep me here though bc I have really discovered throughout the past 5 years livin so far away... That family comes first! I could totally do 100 degrees year round! Speaking of family, my Mother is on her way here, she still lives about 40 min from me to help me around the house. Knowing my Mom she will not let me do much anyways. I have Never had to hide my addiction from my Mom... Or anything else for that. She has truly been my best friend since I was about 16. And of course my Dad, he knows my entire life story too. He's just old fashioned and don't say much. I will def be keeping it easy. My mother has a way of lighting up my mood no matter what. Even if I just want to lay around and do nothing. We shall see! Thanks again So much for your support!!

[Danny111]

Congrats on Day 6!  I'm amazed that you were able to sleep well last night after sleeping so much yesterday.  We could really use some of that rain here in CA too.  Don't push yourself too hard.  

[dedicatedtostop]

Day 6 and I am okay... Except for the Moody *** Husband... Sigh. Often times I wonder if he is my trigger point! Nothing is ever good enough. Anyways I slept all night, got up and took my 8 year old to school, came home and I am just trying to pick up a bit. Although I slept all night, I am still feeling very tired right now. I actually are a bannana for Breakfast. Huge change there since I have NEVER been a breakfast person. Still so much that need to be done around here, but I am not lifting a darn thing! It can just sit for all I am concerned right now. Dear god I hope he gets out of his mood soon bc I am not up for it..... At all!

[dedicatedtostop]

I hate to hear that! Would Love to send some rain your way! And oh how I would Love to live near the beach! When my kids are grown I shall!
Meeting went great, it provides food to feed my soul! I have accomplished more today than I have in days, although it's still little. I unpacked 2 more boxes an straightened up a little bit. I can't wait till this house is put together!! It's driving me crazy, not to mentioned it just doesn't feel " homey " at all! I think my Mom might come help me a little Tommorow. I are again this evening, homemade chicken noodle soup and now I am sitting outside getting some fresh air. Moving towards day 6 Tommorow and hoping it's even a tiny bit better. I am still running to the bathroom and I chose not to use the Imodium bc I want the crap out I my body ASAP. It's weird though bc that didn't start till day 3. I am staying hopeful! And here's my biggest announcement........... My Husband flushed the pills tonight!! He asked me several times if I was sure and YES I was!! I know that I am going to have to slow down in life and learn to get through my bad back days. This I know I can do! So many here do the same with their pain. I know I am not much different! I also know that God didn't put me on this earth to be a drug addict!! That I have SO MUCH faith in. I know I will have good days and bad days but that's life right!? Tommorow when I wake up on Day 6 I am going to challenge myself to do just a tiny bit more than I did today... And so on! By the Grace of god and this forum of course, I am ready to face day 6.

[Jerry198]

80ish and sunny at the beach the water is warming up to 68ish and is so clear but we have NO RAIN and in real bad shape water wise the lake by my house that provides us water is down 60% hope you feel better good luck with the meeting and its almost Friday!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank You for your comment! I am working towards the weekend! I am telling myself the same thing! Too bad it's raining.... Again!

[dedicatedtostop]

That's exactly what I did!! Get some rest! So much that I slept all darn day and my Husband didn't bother to wake me. I didn't wake up until my 8yr old came in the bedroom bouncing around! My goodness I must have really been exhausted from these past few days! I really wish he would have woken me up. I think I am starting to feel better! I am finishing up Day 5 and look forward to starting Day 6 Tommorow!  Oh, and it's still raining here! Husband is in a pissey mood today but I have ignored him. Not sure what the rest of the evening holds... Other than my meeting at 7.... But I think I can tackle it!
I am going to say it again!!! Thank you Danny!!!

[Danny111]

Get some rest dedicated.  Things will be better each day.  

[dedicatedtostop]

Danny ( my life line )thank you for being there!
I totally means so much! Day 5 and things seem "
" okay " right now! I am super tired still so I am giving myself that permission to lay around a bit. Think I will take a small nap and see if I have improved even more once I wake up. So far so good ( knock on wood ) I am taking Ibprofen 800 mg right now so my back seems okay... For now anyways. It's still pouring and chilly so I think I may try to go ahead and lay back down for awile.... Will check in soon

[Jerry198]

come the weekend you will feel much better since you have been down the road before and only used a short time you'll be fine soon.

[Danny111]

Congrats on day 5!  Great that you were able to sleep.  

[dedicatedtostop]

Just a quick update... Starting day 5. I slept pretty decent lastnight and I think I may try to sip on my coffee just a bit ( not much though ) it's pouring down rain here and the temp has dropped drastically. If I could only get through the numbness in my hands from this carpal tunnel... I just re-read my post and realized there was a typo. It was supposed to say " perhaps I shouldn't complain "

[dedicatedtostop]

Thank You for stopping by! Your post are always very inspirational to me!  I am closing in on Day 4... Hoping to sleep " decent " tonight.. Will be praying hard tonight as I lay my head down that the worst of this may be over. Hopefully Day 5 will be better and I am staying positive, however, I am not getting my hopes set to high!

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl  congrats on day 4 your doing great just keep pushing threw you should start to feel better in a few days  just know it will be so so worth it to be free of the pills once and for all  cudos on hitting the meetings they really help with the ''mindscrew'' try to eat as often as you can it will build up some energy  just know your healing now  it wont happen over night but today you may have 0 energy now but tomorrow or the next day 10%  but each day it will slowly come back   recovery is in baby steps but you will come out on the other side  keep us posted
.........................................Gnarly..................................................

[dedicatedtostop]

Danny and Neveragain... Both of your comments made me lol each in different ways of course. I was pretty surprised I could eat anything! I ordered pizza for the girls and when it got here I suddenly felt hungry all at once. I am trying to make that a positive...