Rock bottom

[LisaM530]

I guess this is where I begin. I don't know how else to do this. Several years ago, I was prescribed vicodin for a toothache. Then another script for another toothache- you get the idea. Eventually I became dependant on them to just get out of bed and make it through the day. Here I am about 5-6 years later, and still taking them. I take what I can get which can on some days be up to 8- (yellow) 1,000's, but on average- about 7- 750's a day. I am way too ashamed to talk about it, and I CANT go to a doctor and just explain this, as I have way too much riding on anyone 'finding out'. The reason I am here today started out simple enough. I simply didn't have any and started (am) experiencing withdrawls. I started reading around online looking for anything related to overcoming  vicodin withrawl, and that's how I found this site. Yesterday, I had NO desire to quit. After reading around, and feeling what I am feeling now, I think I'm ready. This is the first time in all these years I have ever even entertained the thought of quitting. Im maybe even a little enthusiastic- but I'm terrified. Taking vicodin has been the only thing I have known for so long, I don't know if I can do it.
Is there anything I can do to subside the withdrawl symptoms that doesnt involve doctors or 'outing' myself? I want to be normal again. Thank you in advance <3

[mom_of_two136]

Hey Lisa,  I am glad your tooth pain is better. One of my tooths have been hurting the last few days. I started taking some antibotics that I had. I know I need to have it looked at but I am trying to put it off. It keeps acting up and I just take antibiotics and it calms down for a while. I think I have had every procedure known to man on my teeth. Yuck!

It does feel good to type out your thoughts. Post away. Becareful about the situation with your brother. If he decides to use again you might want to distance yourself from him atleast right now. I was the queen of excuses and I could talk myself into using and justify it in my head. The best thing you can do is stay busy so you are not thinking about it. Right now its mostly mental for you since the worst of the physical stuff is over. I found that excercise really helped me so much. Anyway, Hope you have a great day and you are doing great. Keep it up.
Lisa