SURVEY

[confused456]

Hello!! I want to do a little survey. How many of you have wondered if by taking pain meds. that you may have covered up an illness or some other pain by taking the meds? I have thought that several times. Every time I had some pain, I would wonder how bad the pain really was or would be if I was not on the medication I was on. It always made me wonder if I was "covering up" an underlying condition. Just wondering if anyone else had these fears?

[confused456]

Well said!! You ppl inspire me!!!

[bobby139]

You know I have not shared so much of my life in such a long time until I joined here, you know maybe we should kinda look at what cocobean said, maybe we just wern't strong enouph to handle what happend to us at the time and in some wierd way the pills got us though  until we were strong enouph....who knows????

All that matters now is we are making it, we are taking our lives back agian....No matter how big or small you think your problems are their your problems and they are big to you because it's your life. So to ALL.....we are strong and we will make it!!!!!!!!
Thank You for sharing and letting me share, I'm not use to that......on a lighter note, this has made me almost forget how sick I am until now....have to go pray to the porcelian (sp) gods agian......I do not know how to spell, lol....

God Bless everyone!!!!!!

[cocobeanlisa]

Yes, I thank we have all had our share of lives troubles, But now being clean We have learned to grow from them.  I know by reading everyones posts that I hear some growth from their past.

I know now that no matter what I am powerless over anything that is mind altering/drugs booze and maybe even chocolate.

Thanks for the reply.

cocobean

[Flutterby111]

That's what I'm saying, I feel like bi***a$$ for what I consider legitimate pain compared to what alot you've been through....amazing.

[confused456]

coco: Thank you for sharing with us and I do understand what you mean and I am glad they saved you as far as that goes. We have ups and down and u have been thru a ton!! Glad u can talk about it

[cocobeanlisa]

And I have to say that since I have stopped all pain killers (even tylenol) I have learned how to deal with pain for the most part.  There are days when it still is real bad, but I refuse to take pills.  All of the Hydrocodone that I did ate up my stomach and my kindneys.  I had to have a kidney biopsy, because of the blood in my urine.  The doctors are sure that this due to the hydros.

cocobean

[swtbreezie]

Thanks sweetie, and I am so happy to hear about your beautiful children!  God had a plan for you obviously.  I have a duaghter that I raised I had legal custody but could not adopt.  She has lupus SLE was diagnosed at 13 anf is 18 and in remission now I just got her through high school last year and she is now gone to find her roots I guess.  I havent heard from her in 2 months.  She went to be with her biological Dad.  I am trying not to interfere, I know it was all she wanted to reunite with her Mom and Dad.  I had her off and on since age 2.  She was so ill for 5 years. went through 2 years of chemo, in which I was the only one there for her.  I know she will come around.  I am sure my grief wasnt easy on her either or my addiction.  I miss her terrible have tried calling her but her cell is not on.
hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
swtbreezie

[cocobeanlisa]

I have to post this, I know you guys do not know me but I have to be honest...

At the end I hated the hydros/norcos but I tell you saved my life..I got addicted because
I had a double mastectomy with reconsturctive surgeries and a hystorectomy right after.

I had over 27 surgeries in 4 years, and when they had me on the table for the double mastectomy the cut the nerve under my right arm and I lost all use of it.  I was in so much pain that I wanted to kill myself.  I laid in bed praying to die every night, and at the time I was in AA and sober for 6 years.  I had all kinds of support but nobody could take the pain away. I refused to take pills for about 3 weeks and then I just gave up, and boy did I take them.  And looking back I also believe that they saved me emotionally at the time, I do not think I could of handled lossing both of my breast and not being able to have childern in 2 years time...So yes I paid a HIGH PRICE BY GETTING ADDICTED TO THEM, but they did save me for a little time until I could come to terms with what happened.  They also helped learn to use my arms again, because I could do PT with the pain pills.

So that's my story, yes i regret them but I do believe that they saved me at that point.

cocobean

[confused456]

Bobby:
I think everything happens for a reason and something beautiful you have made of your tragedy. That is great. I am happy you have these 3 little ones and look at it as a blessing! God Bless you!!!

[Flutterby111]

I do want to say this....I speak for myself only, but since I've stopped using the painkillers, I'm in considerably less pain then I was when I was on them.  My friend who also suffers legitimate pain, and abused, and is recovered told me this could happen, and of course thought she was nuts, I was in so much pain!!!! I don't know who watches Celebrity Rehab, but if you did, look at Jeff, when he was first in, he could barely talk, couldn't walk he was in so much pain...after being clean a few weeks, he was able to do those things again and seemed ok!  But, I know there are plenty here who suffer much more than I probably ever have...and continue to, so this is just my perspective only...so to those suffering, I'm so sorry....and you're all so strong.  and for those with back pain, read my post on back pain, it might be on the second page by now-it's not spam-i swear!

[bobby139]

AAAA thanks guy's, sorry hubby came home for lunch....Yes, I do have 3 beautiful kids, thats another story, they are all adopted thur the state and all have drug and/or abuse issues, that thank god they over came! :)
Got my twin boy's at 11 mo. old and my baby girl at 2 day's old....I beliave that is why it all happend is for me to have the children i have, a few yrs before the hyst. I went thur 2 invetro's and the last one I had triplets at 6 mo in the preg. ( 2 boy's 1 girl) but they were just to little......anyway's god wanted me to have the three we have and I thank him everyday!!
swtbreezie-- I'm so sorry for your loss, god bless you!!!!!!!

[Jacqui805]

I cannot believe it.  I wrote you guys a a big post here, but it never showed up.  

[swtbreezie]

Sounds like a good lawyer would tear them up!  That is serious if you have never had any children.  I am so sorry for you hon, it breaks my heart.
Bless your heart.  My problems seem small compaired to yours at least I had my babygirl for a time it wasnt the lifetime I expected but I had her to hold and love.
swtbreezie

[confused456]

OMG, I am sorry to hear that. That is horrible. Do you have any children? These Dr.'s need to get a damn clue!!!!

[swtbreezie]

Thanks my friend!   That is so very true, because my pain is still there but not 1/10 as bad as it was on the meds.  It destroyed my pain tolerance and he knew my history of losing my hubby and daughter he should have seen the signs of me abusing the meds. He needs his liscense revoked but unfortunately he has good documentation and is untouchable.  BUT I am wondering he has never done any blood work on me and I have been seeing him for over two years this I dont know if you can do anything about BUT I would like to try.  Maybe no one else will wind up in the condition I was in.
sorry I didnt mean to go into all that but it just makes me angry.  And I have not had any angry moments since the day I felt i wanted to die and reached out for help.  Good to see you on again I assume you got your laptop going or (I HOPE and pray your pain is somewhat better so you can be at your desktop)
God Bless
swtbreezie

[bobby139]

That is for sure.....Years ago I kept going to doctors with terriable pain in my stomach sometimes would even run small fevers, this went on for 6 years, it got to the point where the doctors were telling me that it was in my head that sometimes when someone is unhappy (because husband wasn't around much) that they really do feel pain and can even cause fever's and that I should go for counc. so I started to beliave them...I remember sometimes just laying on the floor in to much pain to get up and crying thinking I was doing it to myself,...to make a long story short, ended up one day at work passing out from the pain went to hospital and they finally found it, had infection for years from prob. cyst and ended up having a full hystarectomy (sp) and they told me they were sorry that I would never have children and that is why over the years I kept loosing my pregnancies, they said it looked like someone opened me up and poured super clue in me.
So you alway's have to beliave in yourself!

[Jacqui805]

I think it's so easy for medical professional to just chalk up everything you're feeling to the whole "chronic pain" thing, especially after you've been diagnosed or labeled with it.  I would even venture that some chronic pain sufferers are actually suffering from an otherwise undiagnosed condition that's causing their pain, and there is an answer that no one's been smart enough or cared enough about finding.  

[swtbreezie]

I wonder the same thing, and I havent had a regular check up in years accept from my chronic pain doctor which only wanted to give me more pills.  They are still calling to see if I wish to reschedule.  NO way after I missed my appt last month NOT on your life I am going to put that money to good use and go to a GP for a regular checkup, pap test the works.
swtbreezie

[Jacqui805]

Blood in the belly is one hell of an irritant.  That'll usually cause one to sit up and take notice, I'm glad you did and you're here.

[confused456]

That is true, and mine would not and did not cause me any pain until it ruptured and blood was going into my stomach. That is what caused the actual pain. I felt like I had one hell of a tummy ache and it would not go away so thats when I finally realized there was something wrong.

[Jacqui805]

When pain is constant, or severe, or both, it becomes more than pain, it is true suffering.  It is no wonder why any of us have used, abused, over-medicated, or anything else to rid ourselves of this.  I don't know about anyone else, but I consider myself a strong person, but we all have our limits.  No one can deal all the time, especially when we're over our thresholds.  I'm so glad we have all "seen the light" on the pain meds. issue and that we're all here.  

[mimi1313]

But not all cysts are painful so maybe the outcome would have been the same regardless.

[confused456]

I have a hard time dealing with pain now as u stated, but at the time of my cyst, I think I "overmedicated" to the point I was so drowsy that I just didnt feel. I never used more than prescribed, but I did take themn close together when the pain was bad, so if I took 3 in 3 hours, the other 3 would be spread throughout the day. That is how I masked it, i think.

[Jacqui805]

I'm really hoping that in the months to come, that some of the pain alot of us are feeling will dissipate, as some of it may still be a result of having taken the meds. in the first place, is in heightened our awareness of it, or caused some to get us to use more.