The worst has passed but now I'm in my danger zone

[Clm1974]

Today is day 5 of my recovery from Crystal Meth. I went to a meeting today and everyone clapped for me but I'm far from ready to celebrate. The worst has passed from one perspective. The aching fatigue and feeling like I wanted to die has subsided. I'm still depressed but nowhere close to where I was. The reason I fear this stage of recovery is that I have entered my danger zone. I mentioned the first day I joined the forum that I've been trying to quit about 4 months. I usually make it at most 7-10 days and then relapse. It's when I start feeling good again that I'm most vulnerable and the cravings hit me full on. Today I woke up wanting to use and it's been like that all day. I went to a meeting and that helped but I'm finding that boredom is my enemy. I wish I could have stayed at the meeting all day! The reality is I can't. I welcome any suggestions from those who have been where I am today. On a positive note, I met a lady today who I really connected with and could be a possible sponsor. She is also recovering from meth and has over 1 year clean. How do you find a good match? I've only been to 2 meetings so I don't want to rush something that important but I also feel like I need to get started on working the program.

[Clm1974]

I can't thank you all enough for your positive responses and feedback. I have found so much support through this forum and it is making a huge difference. I am also grateful to hear stories from former meth addicts. The statistics I read for recovery from meth are so poor that I desperately need to hear your success stories! I will continue to post and feel a little more hopeful today. Thanks so much for encouraging me!

[Jeff50193]

I quit meth about a year ago, i was a regular user (everyday user) for around a year, it got to where i was stealing to feed my constantly growing habit, it seemed to be a great time during that year but looking back, such wasted time it was! I just would like to give you a quick summary of the year since iv quit and would LOVE to answer any questions on what to expect for your near future, ok well after a good long year run of AT LEAST a sixteenth between me and my ex girlfriends moms boyfriend, i end up going to jail for some theft sh**(that im still dealing with to this day i will add) i finnaly got my mind right after my little jail stint, (6 days) i decided it was time to quit the ice, i will tell you, i slept through the first two weeks, like days at a time, and that first month was hell but after about 50 days i would say. I quit feeling like i just wanted to kill myself, and a year later i still have occasional cravings, and im tryin to kick opiates as we speak lol, and i will say quiting the dope was all a mind game for me so if your strong minded you will breeze right through this! And the biggest turning point i had where i decided it was time to quit because it just opened my eyes to what my life had become, i read a poem called""meet mr, chrystal"" whenever i have craving i just read that poem and i realize what iv been through to get to today and the cravings subside...good luck and i want to watch your progress, i know it can be done

[Ladykonnie]

Oh and about a sponsor. I never went to a meeting as I did not want outside influence and ANY chance for CPS to find out.  But I did have 2 friends that were prior users and they stuck by me with advise.  Follow your gut because the heart is foolish,  like Clean stated on her note to you, this woman might make a great sponsor. Hugs!!! Don't give up!!!

[Ladykonnie]

Day 5 is better than day 1. I did meth 12 years ago. I was a heavy user. Put everything up my nose. What kept me going is that I hit rock bottom and had NO choice. Either I cleaned up or I lost my kids(I was losing my apartment ).  
I chose my kids. I was also tired of  "chasing the bag".

Is that really the life you want?  Life of despair, guilt, fake friends. Not even knowing your real self?  I don't know your situation. Am I am not judging trust me.  If I stayed away from meth you can too. I cut EVERYONE out of my life that ran the circle. It was hard but like I said I chose my kids. You got this!!!! Keep us posted

[Jeff50193]

Good job!

[meegWpaw]

Cim, don't stop, keep going, sounds like you are doing great!  I was only addicted to crystal for about six months, but it was a really tough time in my addiction.  you are absolutely right ... the most vulnerable time is when you are feeling a little better.  That was when I would always be ready to get more.  Before that I was horribly, horribly depressed, mostly in bed.  since my use of that drug was short, I quit mainly because of how monumentally bad the come downs were, as well as the cost.  mostly it just made me feel so very bad.  I think using 12 step as far as you can allow it comfortably will be an excellent help to you too.  hope for all the best for you!!!

[AShellof_Me]

Congratulations on 5 Days! You ARE doing great!

I echo so much of what is said in the responses above, and I completely agree that the woman at the meeting can be an "open" door for now. You may want to take a little more time before taking that kind of "concrete" step of choosing a sponsor... HOWEVER, that said, this is YOUR recovery and you have to do what you NEED to do. My suggestion is to go to several more meetings... build some more relationships... THEN choose. :) That's just me.

I completely agree with Clean_in_ks on the "DO the NEXT right thing" that was the motto I learned... that's what I keep ringin' in my son's ear :)... Just do the next right thing!  My husband told me early on in my recovery - "I didn't ALWAYS know what the next RIGHT thing was... BUT I ALWAYS knew that the wrong thing was..." so then it was "Just DON'T USE today!" Get through today. Go to a meeting. Eat well. Watch my sleep. Don't isolate. Do the NEXT right thing.

You CAN so do this. You are on the road of recovery. You're on the path darlin'. You've got all the best things going for you right now in this very moment! You dear friend have made yourself WILLING - you are here being OPEN... and you are HONEST about being vulnerable about how you are feeling. Girl, you're doing THIS recovery thing.

Praying for your continued success! Keep coming back!!

[clean_in_ks]

You're doing GREAT!!!  I know you feel vulnerable right now.  Going to as many meetings as you can is GREAT for keeping your focus.

The woman you met.....she can be an "open door"....she doesn't have to be "permanent" you know?  Just keep saying....."I'm gonna do the next right thing"....and then "the next right thing".....keep an "open" attitude like you have....it will SO PAY OFF....promise~  Push and dig deep....it's truly amazing what's inside of us....we just have to do it to find out, ya know?

Music, I mean plugged into your ears....will help A LOT.....and spicy foods, laughter..sex...haha!  endorphins that's the ticket!....keep on keepin on....even when you have to MAKE yourself....cause it always pays off.....the rewards of FREEDOM from addiction are HUGE....and you're already doing great and tasting them.
You absolutely CAN DO this!!!  You ARE!!!!  Every single minute, hour, day and week you don't use....you ARE healing.  You go girl....keep posting and talking to us....ok?

[Amandag78]

Hello, well done on 5 days clean. I quit crystal meth 2 years ago, i tried and tried and tried and it was so hard for me. But in the end, the money we spend and the things we loose was enough to say, enough is enough. Its a tough road but dont sell yourself short, if i can do it, you certainly can too. Have faith and believe in yourself. Anything is possible. Keep taking control and never look behind you. I had to hit my absolute rock bottom to stop all drugs. Someone else will answer you as what to do with meetings and a sponser as this was not for me... But has saved literely hundreds of thousands of people. Your doing exactly what you should be and so be proud of yourself, its so worth to be happy again xx