Second try to quit Hydro HELP

[Anything0228]

I was four days clean about 8 months ago. I was having an affair and when my husband found out in Jan. He was devastated. I started using hydrocodone for emotional pain. I have a counselor but she doesn't know about the meds. I took half of a 5/500 at 6 this morning and I'm just over it. I know that in five days or so I can be through the worst if it . I just need accountability. I told my husband this morning. I have no idea why he wants anything to do with me after an affair and now this.
I'm so afraid of the next five days. I am getting supplies for the Thomas recipe and don't want my teens to know. I've cried for an hour and just decided to get back on here for so e help.
Is anyone else just now going off ?

[lulu747]

Hey sweetie-
Just want to throw you my support and tell you that you're doing great!  Let those tears flow.  Tears of futility must be wept because if not they turn to poison for our souls.  What helped me was going for a long drive with the windows open, blasting my tunes, and just sobbing and screaming it out.  You're alive, you're human, you're clean.  You're doing great.
Big hugs from my heart...
Lu

[Anything0228]

Day four has been okay.. I rested around the house until around noon and then my husband and I went to the pool for a few hours. I think forcing myself out even though I'm scared helps so much...and the sunshine. I came home and took a two hour nap but hopefully I'll get to sleep tonight.
I can tell my brain is freaking out though. I hear comments from kids or think about bad decisions I made whil on the pills and just start crying. I know it will get even more honest as this fog lifts. For now just one day at a time.

[Anything0228]

Day Four! Yesterday was a miracle. My belly rumbled all day but I got up and dressed, went out shopping, came home and did some yard work, took a nap in the afternoon. Helped make dinner, watched a movie and went yo bed around eleven.
All of that on day four. Not what I expected but I'll take it! I've been awake about an hour and guess I'm not going to get back to sleep but that's ok. I already feel my belly rumble and I'm still hot then cold but I can do this.
I'm so thankful for encouragement from every one of you. Your stories will continue to help me face all the reasons I thought I needed those stupid pills in The first place. Thank you!

[Real180]

Hello and congrats on day 3!!!

WDs are different for everyone but I'm sure someone has experienced what you did but as a general rule it's best just to take it as it comes (good or bad)... 7 hrs sleep is awesome and like you said it's a pleasant surprise...

Your doing great so keep on doing what you are doing!!!!

[Anything0228]

Good morning. I just woke up about an hour ago and I feel fine. Is this going to last ? I'm not running to the bathroom. I slept seven hours. I just had a cup of coffee and I'm laying here trying to decide whether to act like I'm detoxing or to get up and go do something a little fun. This is a pleasant surprise and if it's just a morning, im thankful. I didn't even have shaky legs last night. I used the Hylands leg pills so maybe just my body resting helped too. My belly is still making crazy noises but it doesn't hurt.
Anyone? Has this happened on day three after day 2 just was horrible? I'm not sure I'm believing it's going to last. I was waiting for a horrible next three days.

[iwantmylifebacknow]

All great guidance above! Your name says it all. "Anything" is possible esp when you really want it! Try not to focus on the "husband" stuff. I have a fiancé' and feel the same way. He didn't even check in with me today to see how I was. There are decisions I need to face down the line but right now I am not ready. Just trying to say focus on you right now. Go with the waves and know we are here for you! Congrats on day 2, that was one if my toughest days!

[climbingthewalls]

being all over the place is 100% ok. your body is going into shock and your "addict" brain will tell you that you "need" the pills to be "normal" But unfortunately EVERYONE on here said "we need need the pills to be normal" lol thats how we ended up here!!!    YOU are DOING this!!! you should be proud of each tiny step.....you probably wont feel proud at the moment but in time you will lol YOU are making a Choice to take your life back and that is AWESOME!!!! take it easy, dont judge yourself and reach out on here constantly for help. Day 7 is right around the corner for me and without the amazing people on this site, I truly would still be at day one. Stay strong, stay positive...baby steps will get you there....take care

[Anything0228]

Thank you. I did eat dinner with the family after a two hour nap. It's hard to not feel like I'm going to need something else. I've been all over the place emotionally from thinking I really need my husbands support to I don't want him around at all. I'm trying not to make decisions right now because I'm just super sensitive.
It's nine o'clock and I went to bed last night this early so I guess I'll try again tonight . Day 2 done.  Now to attempt sleep.

[Brokenchains]

Don't focus on what you didn't do. Focus on the fact that your breaking free from pills, that's amazing. The next few days you need to set small goals, like just sitting outside for 10 minutes, or taking a small walk. This fight takes time. Your brain needs to heal and learn to make its own chemicals again. Your going to be emotional, it's ok. Just be proud that your getting your life back, and your giving your kids you back! What's been done during our addictions is DONE!! You need to get clean and focus on what you can control. Be Proud anything, your breaking FREE!! It's not far away anymore. It's right there in front of you.

[Anything0228]

So I didn't go to PD and my kids just told me how unstable they felt their life has been for the past few years until January. I sent them out to eat so I can take a bath in peace and t let them go vent together. I've just had this feeling that something is missing all day. It is...the feeling I get from they'll that fills up something. I tried journaling and that just made me cry. I'm tired so the best thing is probably to take a bath and a nap.
I keep reminding myself this will be better by Sunday. Just wish I could leave or sleep until then. Obviously emotional .

[Brokenchains]

Don't worry to much about what ifs, they may never happen. The first 5 days  For me, each day I woke up and new how I felt. First 2 days weren't horrible. For me, day 3 and 4 were the worst. You'll get thru today. Just focus on small goals, 1 hour or 1 minute at a time. Soon the day will be over.

[Anything0228]

Morning Day Two. I went to sleep around ten. I woke up often with body twitches. I got back to sleep fairly easy. I woke up at 6:45. I'm supposed to go to a professional Development today from 8-4 but am afraid of what might happen . I feel like I can do it but it's just the what ifs!
My belly is making noise but I don't feel horrible yet.

[Brokenchains]

Your doing it Anything, your getting thru it. Just stay motivated. These pills make you someone your not, and do things you wouldn't normally do. Maybe without these poison pills you wouldn't have made some of the bad choices. I know I made bad choices while on Norco, ones I regret. But we have to focus on breaking free from our addiction and having a positive, clean future. I know what your going thru and so do many others on this site. Use the knowledge on this site to help you along the way. Your going to have a lot of different emotions, I mean all over the map. Just roll with the punches and don't overreact to them. If you need to cry, then cry. I posted some of the different stages I went thru, maybe check that out. I know that reading posts on here several times each day prepared me, and made me feel a lot better mentally. There is so much help on this site, just ask. I'm starting my 6th week of bring clean, and I never thought I could be here during detox. You can do this, you are doing it. Hope you have a fast and easier detox

[iwantmylifebacknow]

Proud of you! Just a little virus remember! It will pass trust me!! I still have some tummy troubles on day 5 but feel great! Keep us posted and get rest!!

[Anything0228]

Thanks. I can justify going to sleep now that's it's almost nine! Lol. I ate steak and. Potato for dinner which I might regret in the morning but I have loperamide standing by. Blessings for day 1. Night!

[iwantmylifebacknow]

Oh I had the anxiety too. I have been on here since day 1 reading and posting. When you don't have energy to post, just read. Trust me, it helped me so much. Be strong, you will be ok. Keep us posted so we can help you thru.

[Anything0228]

Thank you for the encouragement. I'm going to look at your posts. Everyone's experiences help me with the worry. I don't feel bad yet...it's just the anticipation.

[iwantmylifebacknow]

Hi
If you read thru some of my posts, I am clean 5 days today. You can so do this. I am a mom too and work FT. Took 2 days off from work and had a "stomach bug." Back at work today on day 5. Stock up on vitamins- you will find the thomas recipe. I also learned to rub vicks vapor on your feet and legs to help with the restless legs. I did that last night after a hot bath and it soothed them so much! Cry its ok. I have been crying, laughing, I am all over the place. But I am feeling and that is the best thing. No longer numb in a dark ugly place. I am living. Please reach out to me if I can help you. I am here! You got this!

[selfinduced]

Com'on Girl, You can do this. Remember the warm soaks when your restless. Divert yourself with music and movies. Keep telling yourself you have the flu. Draw strength in the fact that you will NEVER do this again and your teenage kiddo's will have their mom back both physically and emotionally. Surrender to the process, but fight the physical for a few days. Come Saturday, you will feel much better. Use immodium for the tummy and take in small amounts of food to help with energy and anxiety. Day by day…..

[Anything0228]

I took a nap and just woke up. I think I'll ask my husband to get some dinner on his way home. I'm waiting for the bad stuff to start. How long until I feel the worst?

[Brokenchains]

Congrats Anything, your on the right path. Be proud of yourself, look in the mirror and be proud. Keep working and it will get better each and every day!!

[Sonrissa]

Hi Anything, try to let your emotions out. When we are on pills, they mask emotions and just keep them stuffed in.  I agree with getting outside in the fresh air, it helps so much.  I wish you all the best. You can do this.  Keep posting and reaching out for strength and support.  We will be here for you! All the best.

[jerry4664]

Get some air outside go rent a movie for later a teary one then Cry all you want and no one is the wiser just your secret be stong..