Need advice

[kalie1979]

Okay this is my situation now, I got into a place that well detox me, but I can't go until the end of next week. So I was up to 15  of hydros a day and I would say for the last week my total on a bad day would be 6 to 7. Yesterday I took a total of 5. This morning I feel anxious and that OMG feeling of what am I going to do. My husbands brother is coming in tommarrow with his new family including his in-laws and a new born baby that they want me and my husband to be the GOD parents of. Also he is a cop in Florida. So they Cannot know my situation!!!! So if I go to 3 a day will I get sick?

Kalie

[Amaryllis1974]

Kalie,
Love, we are 2 of a very small percentage that can wean...
You have to trust me on just this one thing: Stay in the moment, with no worry of tomorrow or even the next moment concerning these pills.
Start thinking differently now, or when you come out of "rapid detox", you will have a hard road ahead of you.
I don't say this to be mean ( I am British, and sometimes come off as an arse)- I say this because I am living it.
I know that my supply is probably not enough to make it thru 3 today, 3 tomorrow, 2 the next day, 2 the day after , one and then one.
I have set it up in my head that no matter what, I will make it because that's what God has in store for me - He wants us clean, He wants us to not count pills, worry about money for pills, worry about a family and detox, etc.
So, just stay put at the number you are on for a day or 2, then go down half or one.
You may have a day or 2 of discomfort in the end, but maybe that's what you need to remember where you have been, and where you need to stay.
My heart goes out to you all the way, sister.
Amy

[kalie1979]

okay i stopped...thankyou, i probley would have been disappointed

[Amaryllis1974]

dont know how to change pic but DONT COUNT PILLS

[kalie1979]

No i have not had a high in months, I just need enough not to freak out. I have crazy anxiety and I don't think that helps! It flares up in times like this. I just don't won;t to get sick right now. But when I take them its one at a time. I would have to take 3 for a touch of a high and i will not do that. I just don't have many left. I took one so far today. I will count them real quick and let you know how many i have. also, how do you change you main pic by your name.

[Amaryllis1974]

broknbck was right about chasing the high. He said what i couldnt put into words.
if you take enough to get even the slightest bit high, you are doomed (:

[kalie1979]

Okay trying to do the breathing thing. You are so strong, and its funny because your right about the head game thing. I think I could fight it, but my brain attacking me right now,,, like your going to get so sick, you are going to be werid around them. Need to do something to get it off my mind, ya know

[broknbck]

well from experience, if you are taking even just a little bit then you will not go into full withdrawl. what i did was to go without whenever possible and just grin and bear it.
if there was something big to do like that christning, i would take some for the event.
each day or half a day you can go without brings your tolerance down more. that way it was spaced more and tolerable for me.
but everyone is different and some people cannot be disciplined. the first main thing is to stop chasing the high. it is not even an option. all you want to do is curb the withdrawl and if you are feeling high, than you are taking too much.
it sounds like you are doing pretty good on your own. sure you need to go to detox? the thing about that is in the end, you are still left on your own eventually.

if you keep weaning down to nothing it really is not bad. i experienced more withdrawl while weaning than when i quit completely.
best to you and happy new year!

[Amaryllis1974]

and by the way.
I have no idea how many pills I have left. Or if I have enough to make it thru my final day. I have decided not to worry about that. If there are enough, it's what God intended. If not, so be it.
Stay in the moment.
Amy

[Amaryllis1974]

Hey babe-
First, calm down. Breathe. Really. Breathe.
Second, if you go down to 3 from 5, there will be a slight withdrawal, yes, IN MY EXPERIENCE!
Third, there will also be the mental obsession. Anxiety will be all over the place.
BUT, you can do it.
You are worthy of being the God parent to your nephew. You are worthy of being accepted as is in this family, so no worries there.
As far as the detox center, I can't help you. I don't know what to say.
I would (if it were me doing what I am doing now), stay where you are or only knock it down one pill.
Don't worry about running out. Worry about each day at hand. One day at a time. If you run out, you run out. It wont be nearly as bad as your SICK head is telling you. I can assure you of that.
BREATHE SISTER
I heart you
Amy