is my mom a lost cause?

[SadBoy215]

My Mom is 41. She was the BEST MOTHER ONE COULD ASK FOR. Then in 2012 she started to do drugs. Went to rehab and mental institutions about 8 times. For several months. Is my mom a lost cause? Now she's been clean for a month or so and before that she's been brain dead. She did crack btw. Blank stares and all. Like she's not aware of anything. She's like a zombie. And I'm over the edge. I miss my old mother. She has depression but take medicine fit it. She just sits on the couch all day and is extremely lazy. Help me

[Bubbleguppie100]

No one is a lost cause..

[nursegirl6572]

I'm so sorry you've had to watch your mom deteriorate like this.  I'm sure it's AWFULLY hard.  I have a few questions for you to get a better picture of what's going on...

How old are you?  Does anyone else live with you and your Mom?  Do you go to school?  Obviously she doesn't work, so how does she support you all?  I'm assuming you're pretty young, and if it's just the two of you, you need to be in a more healthy environment.  While of course your Mom isn't a lost cause, she obviously needs some serious help.  YOU cannot fix your Mom sweetie, SHE had to do that, with the help of professionals.  That would start with being compliant with any treatment for the bi-polar that she suffers from.  It sounds very much like right now, she's cycled into a deep depression due to the bi-polar.  Drug abuse is all too common among people with mental illnesses, as they self medicate away the symptoms of their illness, but unfortunately, that exacerbates the illnesses very significantly.

Do you have any close family members or friends you can turn to?  Do you have a father hon, and if so, where is he?  Please understand that trying to "fix" your Mom isn't your job, and you shouldn't be put in the position of thinking it is.  If you're still a minor, you need to reach out to someone who will help you change your situation.  This isn't healthy for you and it will affect you negatively, when you should be focusing on your education and being a young man.  

I'm so sorry for this situation, please keep us updated!  Prayers for you and your Mom!

[AShellof_Me]

Hi there... I am truly sorry for what you are having to go through with your mother. You are about the same age that my daughter was when I put her through quite a bit of heartache as well.

There is always hope. Your mother has two separate issues and overlapping issues. The addiction and the bipolar. Both can be overcome.

My ex-husband is bipolar and self-medicate with crack to "treat" in a manner of speaking the horrible depression he would go into because of the bipolar disorder... after years of finding this DID NOT work... addiction was ruining his life in SO many ways... he is now a recovering addict for 2 years. There IS hope.

Bipolar disorder can be a hugely disruptive mental health issue IF not treated ESPECIALLY when someone has been self-medicating with crack or other street drugs... because our brain chemistry is such a delicate thing. I remember my ex-husband's doctor telling me... as high as the HIGH episodes go that is how the LOW episodes will and the durations may be similar as well... so, if your mother has been using crack, and been artificially "tricking" her brain into an unnaturally HIGH period for an unnaturally long duration.... it's very possible.... it could be some time before her own brain chemistry levels out... the LOWS will be around for some time.  This is how I understand it. But I also understand that it WILL PASS with time.

You seem like a very loving and kind young man to be seeking out help here on this forum. What a courageous soul. I commend you for your maturity. It is not easy to reach out and ask for help. Take care of you. Praying for you today. I hope you will keep coming back if you need support.

[Amandag78]

Im so sorry what you and your mum are going through. Depression can cause blank stares quite often.  Depression is a terrible thing, it unattaches you from reality, you feel like your in a dream and everything is cloudy around you. Obviously your father is not in the picture and you are having to be the man of the house at such a young age, which is a lot of pressure and stress on you. Im at a loss with what to say to you. I wonder if her meds are too strong or she may need to change meds. This is not a good situation for you both to be in. She needs more help and you need to not have this kind of pressure and worry around you or you may get emotional yourself. Your a good son and your both so lucky to have each other.  Maybe someone else could reavaluate her meds and frame of mind. Im so sorry again, i hope shr gets better very soon. Take care xx

[SadBoy215]

I'm 16 and I know it sounds bad. Because it is. I now understand I be to show more love because I blame car so much. But d
So many empty promises and things will draw someone away. Yes she sees a psychoiatrist very little and doctors.  

[vicki595]

Being Bipolar depressed is very hard.  Does she see a doctor for treatment? Do you talk to her about how you feel? How old are you?

I apologize for all the questions but this a little baffling...you make her sound catatonic...If it's only been a month she is, of course, still recovering physically and needs some time to just get better. Your love and support is the best medicine in the world and encouraging her to do little things with you
Is good medicine...

[motye51]

Man, I have to wonder when the meds shes on are obviously not working, why the doctor's arent trying something else? To me, she sounds like shes selfmedicating which means her meds are NOT working.

[SadBoy215]

Shes bipolar also.

[SadBoy215]

She doesnt even clean.

[SadBoy215]

She doesnt wash all the time ... she just wakes up and the first things on her mi d are cigarettes or marijuana.

[SadBoy215]

Yes "acting" want meant literally... clearly. Thanks for all the support.

[motye51]

That was supposed to be depression meds BTW...sorry for the typo!

[motye51]

No one is EVER a lost cause but it is telling that she was fine until 2012 and then just started nose diving? Did something happen in 2012 that u can think of to maybe start this? Obviously the depression mess don't seem to be working if she's still stuck on the sofa. Maybe she has not been diagnosed correctly and maybe she's self medicating, which a lot of is do! Your mother is your mother, she loves u. To go from great mom to crack makes me think something psychological is going on.

[vicki595]

Hi-  Shes not a lost cause so don't give up on her!...she sounds very depressed and probably has a long history of depression. Depressed people frequently turn to drugs, pills, medicine, to make them feel better-..

What is her typical day like?  Is she eating? Does she shower and get dressed? Go to the store, pay bills, that sort of thing?  

Tell us a little more if you want to...being hospitalized 8 times inside of two years is a lot...is it just the two of you?    Keep in touch-

[ActingBrandNew]

I hope its just an expression...I just didn't want to assume it was myself in the event she had a stroke or something from the drug use.

[jethro733]

That's an expression I'm assuming Acting.

[ActingBrandNew]

Let me see if I understand correct...your mother is brain dead? How did that happen? Are you asking if she will recover from that?

Im sorry your dealing with this. I really am...I cant imagine. Please give a little more info. I got the crack thing but not sure about what happened.

[jethro733]

Hey.  No, nothing is a lost cause.  All you can really do is be understanding though.  It's not a problem you can fix as such you know, like you can a flat tire.  She must sort it herself.  You can help her by being caring and supportive, and the most important thing understanding.  Even when you don't.  Acceptance is very important in relationship, and not feeling accepted is often a huge hurdle to get over in early recovery.