Day 7.. Off to a terrible start :(

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey All, Day 7 here and just as the title read, off to a bad start! I feel okay physically, just so weak. My Husband woke up on the wrong side of the bed apparently bc our 7 year old got up before the alarm went off and I didn't hear her so he had to get up with her. He came stomping in turned the light on and started screaming at me. That ultimately led to us fighting when I got up and of course he just had to throw up the fact that I have been laying around for 4 days while he done everything. As if I didn't feel bad enough about it. Then came the... " we have been through this before how much longer till you start back up"?. Here all this time I thought he was being so supportive. I don't know, perhaps he has a reason to be upset with me. I cut off ALL connections to pills ( I only had 1 ) other than my Dr and I even called them last week and told them no more pain pills! He said he didn't beleive me:(... Being an addict, I guess I brought that on myself! He went back to bed so I am hoping he will wake in a better mood but talk about really making me feel like a total piece of crap!! On a positive note, we use to fight a lot when I was heavy in my addiction a few years ago and I since discoved that was my trigger point. Pop a pill and numb it out. We don't fight and argue hardly at all anymore but even this morning when we did, taking a pill never crossed my mind. I went to bed lastnight thinking YES!!! Tommorow is going to be even better, but woke up to this. I am fighting through it but I think it has just made me feel that much more sluggish than I already am. When will energy return? I am loaded up on vitamins and drink a TON of water. I am not getting much credit here on 7 days but I guess that's my own fault for my past history. On a positive note, my back isn't hurting the way it did on the pills or the way it did the first few days of detox. You were all right about that!! I did go out and get my eyebrows threaded today ( vain I know ) but leaving the house was a huge accomplishment. I just feel so drained guys and I would do anything, other than take a pill, to get my energy back. I wish my husband could just understand how truly hard this is. I am doing this to be a better person, a better wife and mother and a productive member of society. I keep telling myself that normal people don't get up and pop pills to make it through the day right? It makes it tougher hearing from the one person that matters most that "  it's just a matter of time " sigh....  I am hopeful that he will wak up in a better mood. He's been asleep all day. I guess I am going to go take a hot shower and my precious girls will be home from School soon. Maybe I deserved to get an earful, afterall he has been doing everything for the girls and keeping up with the housework, laundry, dinner etc... My positive mood has been taken down a notch today...

[dedicatedtostop]

Actually Carrie, it did help! Knowing that I am not the only one that has to hear it! Sorry you had to deal with that as well! As if we don't already feel bad enough the way it is without the ones we love the most bluntly throwing in our face! Tommorows a brand new day. Trying my best to put it past me!

[ScarrieAnne]

Don't have much time to write you tonight, but my husband was a **** today if it makes you feel any better, and made me feel like a lazy failure, as if I don't beat myself up enough! He is like we are all tired im tired of hearing about it, but he isn't in SUB w/d. Sometimes husbands just don't get it, they want us to do it all, and when we cant they get resentful coz they have to get off their ***. I hope you guys make up and talk it out, emotions are running high for all of us right now.You can only do what your body will allow right now and he has to deal with it! This probably didn't help, but I meant well! Much Love to you Sweetie, feel better and get some rest. XOXO

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey All,

Thanks for your responses. I have actually been in the ER with my 14 year old daughter for the past 4 hours. She has pneumonia. It sure takes away every ounce of pain that I was feeling earlier today. So hard seeing your kids so sick. I am staying positive that Tommorow will be a better day. As far as my husband, I have just came to the conclusion that I WILL prove him wrong!! You know, I have wondered if he is somewhat resentful that I am done w pills since he would take 1 a day out of my script to " keep up w his busy work load ", could he be upset bc he knows I AM DONE!  Unlike me, he could walk away and it was never an issue. I don't know, maybe that's my emotions talking too bc he knows I can't take just 1! Before my back injury, I use to work out 5 days a week. I wish I could go back to that but I don't want to risk hurting my back. It's so cold here, I despise cold weather! I would love to get out and walk but it's so cold! I think Tommorow I may try to get on the treadmill here at home even if I don't last long. I just don't think anyone that has never been through such a thing will ever fully comprehend it and honestly.... I wouldn't wish it on anyone!! Tommorow is another day and I am still here, still clean, putting one foot in front of the other. Right now, all I want is to focus on taking care of my daughter. Her being sick makes me feel like what I am going through and feeling is nothing. Thanks again for all your comments and encouragement. I made it through another day... On to Day 8 Tommorow!

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey:

7 days is AWESOME!  You are going to feel better every day.   Husbands...sigh...what can I say?  My first 4 days I could not eat ANYTHING and my husband was living on take-out pizza.  He literally ordered it and ate it every single day for four days.  After that he would come home from work and look at me like a deer in the headlights.  "Whats for dinner?"  Or...."I can't even have a SALAD in my own home?"

Sometimes husbands just don't get it.  Recovery or not.  I also took care of my husband when he had BOTH hips replaced....and a perforated colon, and the resulting 2 surgeries that almost cost him his life.  

I cook, clean, work full time, pay the bills, do everything.   Sometimes I think women's lib only gave us 2 full time jobs.   Sorry to be grumbling, but I really do understand where you are coming from.  

This will get better...YOU will get better.  Drink a ton of water....your urine should be CLEAR and ODORLESS.    And exercise...any kind of movement, will help.  

Hang in there, sweetie....you're doing wonderfully.  It was a bad day for me too...

[motye51]

Not to start an argument in your household....buuuttt.....sometimes I get really aggravated with spouses???  OK...so he's been keeping with child, housework, cooking, etc...for 7 days.  I would have told my husband, WOW!  Do you want a cookie?  I did it every damn day without fail with 4 kids and working!  He worked, came home, and the end....that was the end of his contribution.  However, to give my husband his credit due....when I detoxed, I missed over 30 days of work, he didn't *****, I was completely useless, he did the work, my kids helped as well (they are older).  Sometimes, I wonder if spouses remember, "in sickness and in health"......when my husband broke his hip in 2010 it took 5/6 months before he was fully back on his feet!  I had to run our shop, take care of the kids, do all cooking, bathe him, do p/t with him, keep house, everything!  We do these things for each other b/c we love each other and everyone get's sick!  
Whew.....now that that's been said, maybe you can sit your husband down and tell him you appreciate what he's done so far but it's NOT an instant thing?  It could be weeks before you get back fully up and running....you don't want to push it too hard b/c then you could easily fall back into old habits!  The house won't die, sandwichs are the bomb, and kids are resiliant!  A couple of weeks out of your childs life to get his/her real mother back is sooooo worth it!  You keep pushing forward.....let NOTHING stop you!

[Sonrissa]

Hi there, congrats on the 7 days! You are well on your way.  I agree that actions speak louder than words. I'm hoping that as time goes by, and hubby see how hard you are working, and that this time you are really done with pills, he will ease up on you.  I know it's hard for you right now, but hang in there.

As far as energy returning, try to get yourself outside in the fresh air. Taking even some short walks outside will help. When I was in withdrawals, the thing that helped me the most was getting outside. It was really the last thing I wanted to do. Even just sitting outside on my pourch for 30 minutes helped me to feel better, and gave me the energy I needed to get through the day.  Try it, I promise it will help.

Take care, and keep moving forward!

[dominosarah]

I see a couple good things in your post....You woke up and you are clean!!  As for the things your hubby said.....As time goes on your actions will speak louder than words.  We sometimes forget that we blew the trust with them and it takes a long time to get back.   You are doing great so keep moving forward.