Support weaning off of MAJOR ammounts of meds

[luv2bmomjen]

10 Percs, 12 Vicoprofen, and 4 Soma a day.  Need I saw more.  By the end of this month I will be down to 7 Percs, NO Vicoprofen and 3 Soma.  I am scared to death and ready for any and all support to help this be easier.  I have three babies under 6 to care for.  Please help!!!

[mommytobrae]

I cant really give you advice on how to wean off meds because for me the weaning never works. I either go back to taking my full amount or if i stick to it, it just seems to prolong the withdrawls so i always quit cold turkey. However for you it looks like you have stayed stong and stuck to your weaning plan so i wanted to congratulate you on that! I know how friggin hard it is to try to get off these pills and take care of kids! I only have one 2yr old but when i am sick with withdrawls it seems like it takes everything i have to just change her diaper and feed her! I quit methadone today again cold turkey and wanted to tell you that the withdrawls will go away and you willl feel better everyday (if you are having them). Are you having withdrawls?

[luv2bmomjen]

Yes having some withdrawls.  I have not cut back to the where I have to be yet so more to come soon I am sure.  It is not fun.  And taking care of a 7 yr old 5 yr old and 2 yr old is a handful without anything else on top of it.  I am so scared I cant think straight.  The only thing I have found to help today is Red Bull.  I am going to the vitamin store to see if they have any suggestions.  
Thank you so much for the help and advice.  

[beck25752003]

yeah i also can cant help with the taper side of it, i also had no control of my drug use so if i had them i took them all. i also felt like it just prolonged the withdraws, the withdraws werent as rough but took alot more days to get through. anyway, what works for you to get off them is fantastic. does anyone in your family or friends know? support is so huge, i tried alot of times to just do it on my own and ended going back out eveytime. for me going through the withdraws was the easy part, when the mental part kicks in thats where the work comes in. i ended up in treatment and now go to meetings everynight. i never thought i needed meetings just as long as i stopped using that was all i had to do and i would be great. well not so true for me, i needed to change myself inside and change almost all things in my life. i lost alot of people close to me in my disease and work everyday so i wont lose anymore. hot baths and walks were a god send for me, even though it took everything inside of me to do either of them in withdraws. reading and writing helped also. please let aleast someone in your family or close friend know what is happening with you, you will be amazed how much support people will give and how much better you will feel getting it out. meetings are great cause you see faces and faces of people that are just like us and want to help you stay clean as much as you do. i hope this helped some, you will be in my prayers

[luv2bmomjen]

I do wish that I could go cold turkey.  But the nature of the amount of meds and the Soma being involoved could actually kill me.  Or at least that is what the doctor said.  Soma is a very dangerous drug to come off of fast.  That is why I was so shocked that he had me weaning off all three drugs at the same time.  
I have never taken a pill that was not perscribed to me BUT I have always taken the max amount that i was aloud and that is why I know I must be an addict.  And that is the very first time I have ever admitted that to myself.  
I want my life back and I don't want to loose my children and husband in this process.  So everytime I want to reach for more than what I am allowed now I just listen to their little voices.  And even if it is my two year old kicking me in the shin and calling me stupid it is still the most wonderful sound in the world.  Because I am still here to listen to it and I AM strong enough to get through this.  I have to!  I lost my father at 10 years old and I am so ashamed that I have put my children in the position that I could have died on these meds and left them the same way.  That just kills me and makes me one stupid person.  As you can tell I don't like myself very much at all right now.  I was once upon a time a SUPER MOM (that what everyone called me) but I guess I am not so great after all.  Prob the worst mom I know.  That makes me cry.  
As far as people for support.  NONE really.  I did call a close friend of mine this morning who goes to AA meetings and asked her for her help.  She has known me since we were two years old.  I hope to meet her for coffee tommorrow and talk.  My husband has some info on what is going on but really doesn't think I should be this sick because he has no idea how much I was taking or how much I am weaning and I am afriad that he would hate me forever and I would loose my one and only person that I depend on for everything.  We met when we were 14 and have been together ever since.  I don't want him to see that I have made this horrible mistake with our lives.  What a fool I am to have trusted the doctors.  
Please lord just get me out of this mess alive.  

[freedom007]

Well, the first thing you need to do is tell your husband the truth.  It is the only way he can help you...and you will need help.  Secondly, I would go to your Dr. or another to get a second opinion.  You will make it through this...but you need to fight for it.

Keep coming back here...great folks willing to pull people through...


~ Free

[luv2bmomjen]

I told him what my scrip was for but not how much of it I was taking that is why he doesn't understand.  The last thing I need is him furious with me.  I need his help and he is willing to help me know so once I get past most of my weaning i will tell him how much I was taking on my most painful days.  The pain is bad bad this week and I am having surgery next week so that should prove to be fun.  
I will be checking in here.  As of now it is the only support I have =(

[freedom007]

ok...just know that I went the "under cover" route and wish I had just told my wife the entire truth.  By my last detox...she could have cared less (that was after about 10 relapses and countless underselling of how much I was doing)...and I had to do it alone.  Try to think of it from his point of view.  We addicts always think of ourselves...and think it is best...but more than not...whatever is opposite of what you think now, may be best.

Of course I do not know your hubby...so in the end, you need to do what's best given the circumstances.

There are WONDERFUL people here...truly amazing and they helped me tremendously during weaning, relapses, detox...and now recovery...

[ilovemyrose]

Just wanted to write as a fellow mom. I have a 3 year old baby girl and can't believe I let this happen. My dad died of an overdose 3 years ago and I can't imagine I've done this to myself. Be strong and we all will get through this...our babies need us!

Rachel

[luv2bmomjen]

Rachel,
Thank you so much for your post.  You brought tears to my eyes.  Not hard to do today I guess but yes we have to do it for the babies, they do need us.  I am so sorry for your situation.  So sorry you lost your dad.  I know exactly how you feel and I am sure in some strange way the meds made it easier to deal with even though you knew deap down that is was not the right thing to do.  It is so hard.  Take care and please keep in touch

[luv2bmomjen]

Well I am on day four and wow what a ride.  It is all good.  I feel better about what direction I am going in now.  I also feel a bit more alive than I have in a few years and most of all I am filled with regret for all the memories I feel like I have lost over the last year to three years.  It was really after I had my third baby that the pain was unbearable and I got into this cycle.  
So down now to 7 Percs, 6 Vicoprofen, 3 Soma a day.  So I went from 26 to 16 pills a day to start.  I am making it through by taking a lot of vitimans, B's, Cal-Mag-Zink, and Redbull helps for some reason.  Honestly outside of the habit of the pills and the pain that I have it has not been too bad so far.  
My plan is to cut by two more vicoprofen in the next couple days.  I may wait until Monday just to that I am not too sick on Easter with my kids.  My kids will be back in school then too.  At least two of the three.  Then I can nap in the afternoon if needed.  
I feel like I am at a safer level but definitly not a safe amount still.  When I journal at night I realize how much time I feel like I have lost and how high the meds still are!  All and all I think I can wean.  Not get too sick to take care of my kids.  Although does anyone know.  Will it get much worse when I start cutting completely?  Like when I cut the vicoprofen completely?

[luv2bmomjen]

UHHGGGGG having a hard time tonight again.  Why are nights so bad.  Oh yah cause the pills are gone.  Maybe I should have just gone cold turkey.  Really hard not to take them when I have 300 pills upstairs.  But I won't?  Took 8 Percs, 6 Vicaprofen, and 3 Soma today.  Can I make it?  Need some support!!!

[luv2bmomjen]

On day seven and it is just getting harder!!!  I will not give up, not that I have that choice anyway.  I am still at 7 Percs, 6 Vicoprofen, and 3 Soma.  Today my anxiety was so bad that I was screaming at my children.  I hate myself for that.  I am a bit better this afternoon but my husband left town today and will be gone till Wednesday.  I go into surgery on Thursday which is NOT going to help things.  I need as much support as I can get here today.  Please help!

[luv2bmomjen]

Made it down to 1 vocoprofen 7 Percs and 3 soma and doing great.  Starting to feel like myself again.  Or someone that is a much better person than I have been the last couple years.  

[martikadragoon]

your doing awesome! Did you ever come clean completely to your spouse?

at one point I could take 30 soma a day. 8 at a time. my stepdad OD'd and died 2 years ago on soma and darvon.  I was also on Norco and quit cold turkey 8 days ago, on bad pain days I could take 4 at a time every 4 hrs. not only do I feel better but my pain is GONE. it's so crazy I almost can't believe it.

my husband said it perfectly when he said he didn't love the person i'd become while on the meds. When my mom asked if he still loved me he said he loved the me that wasn't on meds......now that I'm clean even though it's only just past a week for the norco and about 41 days for the soma (and technically 8 days from ambien)  he and I are getting along alot better. but I had to come clean to him and tell him how much I was actually taking.

[luv2bmomjen]

Yes I did tell him and he is not dumb.  He see's me and asks me what I am taking and when.  I feel like it helps to be able to tell him at night "I only took one vicoprofen today".  He is proud of me but we have not had any long conversations about it.  I think he just wants me to get better.  I remind him not to expect the worst out of me or the old me because I am changing in a lot of ways right now.  If he can expect me to get off and expect me to get better with handling life than I can!  
I always took as perscribed.  Took at the most 2 Percs, 1 Vico, and 1 Soma at a time.  I never took more than one Soma at a time because they scare me.  
Thanks so much for posting.  You guys are getting me through this.  I have a doc visit on the 20th.  I am nervous for what is next for weaning.  

[luv2bmomjen]

I am switching forums because I think I upset someone here with a question. (my post was moved)
Just wanted to tell all of you thank you so much for all your support.  I will check back from time to time.  
Good luck to all of you!

[avisg]

jen whats going on you are more then welcome here many of us are cronic pain suffers that go off our meds

[avisg]

I am really confused I just read some of your posts saying your an addict so why would u dont be welcome here

[luv2bmomjen]

I put a posting up asking about taking meds on an empty stomach and someone moved my post and said that "people on this forum are trying to get off meds not try to make them work better".

[avisg]

I know I am sorry that happened but you are very welcome here. I dont think she was aware that u have issues digesting things plz dont let one post chase you away .Ifyou want to be here ..

If you are more comfortable on the pain management forum that ok too ..I just want to let you know you are more then welcome here

[luv2bmomjen]

Did you see it then?  I didn't mean for it to come accross that way, I was only looking for help so I could start eating and gaining weight again.  Anyway, I will stay here and just be very careful what I post here.  Might hang out over there too.  I found so much support here and I think I gave a lot too.  =(  I'll check in tommorrow.  

[avisg]

we will see u tommrow !!!!!!

[luv2bmomjen]

Well just thought I would jump on and leave a little update.  I am now down to 6 Percs a day 3 Soma and 1 Valium.  They also started me on 200mg time release Tramadol at night so I would not wake up with my blood pressure so high from the withdrawls.  I will be dropping another Perc next week after my doctor visit.  I feel in no way ready to go to five as my pain has been really bad but that is what I need to do to keep moving in the right direction.  It has gotten much easier overall.  I feel like I am on safe ammounts now for the most part and doing what I need to to get off.  Last time I saw my doctor she said once they got me off all the short acting medication they would start a time release at a higher dose.  I don't see this working as I hate the idea and Oxycotin is what they always push at me and it doesn't work for me.  

[vicki595]

Oh dear...PLEASE read up on the Tramadol...  it's just not a good "go to" choice. Not your fault at all...so may have had trouble with this med. It's addicting and has an added antidepressant. It's a bear to detox from and cannot be stopped cold!  There are other meds that would help the B/P spike.  Maybe you can re-visit this with your doctor. I
hope so...
Vicki