Ugh is it ever gonna end......

[Sweetness91]

Yesterday and today have been especially rough days. Day 29 and I thought it would be better than it is. Some days I literally feel like I just started withdrawing again. I find myself counting the hours til I can take ibuprofen....which isn't even working I don't think. It's hard to tell when your body hurts this bad. I feel like all I'm doing is existing at this point...not living...if that makes sense.

I've read several posts lately from "newbies" who are considering methadone treatment...and I just wanna say....NO'!  Unless you are prepared for some very real consequences...you should not even consider it! Sure....it may take your pain away for a little while, but your tolerance constantly goes up with that stuff...so you always feel like you're withdrawing. All those years I thought I was having more and more pain...although I never allowed myself to get above 50mgs, when in reality, IT was causing the pain. The withdrawal pain isn't a whole lot worse than the pain I experienced every morning upon waking, waiting to get my first dose of methadone in me. But the withdrawal pain does last all day...and I have yet to have a day in 29 days that I haven't had pain that makes me wanna go crazy. It's debilitating at times...seriously....not even kidding. Do some research before getting on methadone...and don't just read the advantages...because the disadvantages FAR outweigh the advantages...anyday! Y'all should be making an informed decision....there are plenty of things you can read here and online...Don't just ask a few members if you should try it....READ UP on it!! Everyone has different experiences and you should be educated on what ALL the side effects and damages are, just because it affects one person one way, doesn't mean it'll do the same to the next person. I realize I may be rambling here....trying to keep my mind occupied, but seriously ppl, please reconsider your options because there are other ways!!! Everyone have a clean and beautiful day. And I will continue praying for y'all, and praying for my legs to stop hurting! ;)

[Enuffisenough]

You are funny ! Love a good sense of humor. Lights out! Yikes ~

[Sweetness91]

Absolutely!! WHATEVER works! I get to sweating and feel like I'm going through early menopause. Lol. I'm constantly turning that thing up n down...hard to find a good medium when you go from the chills to the sweats. And don't worry about your husband thinking you've lost it...you'll be thinking that before he does. Lol!! Or at least I did. I couldn't make a simple decision for two weeks.

[Enuffisenough]

I'm picturing myself in bed, electric blanket, 4 heating pads, each leg, and arms, and earphones on listening to music . Wrapped in sweat suit drinking lemon water. I think my husband would think I lost it. But I'm on the mend.... Whatever works right ?

[Sweetness91]

Yeah I should probably go buy heating pads like normal ppl huh!! Lol. I took a bath today in lavender Epsom salts while the kids were at school...just hoping it would relax me enough for a nap...but no go on that.  I never realized you could only sleep an hour or so a night and still be able to function...somewhat. I'm learning alot of things by doing this though. Things I only need and want to learn ONCE!

Thanks for the support, well wishes, advice...and for the good laughs I've had here today! It has definitely made my afternoon and evening a little easier. Y'all are the BEST!!

[Enuffisenough]

Getting heating pads ready and Epsom salt!

[Enuffisenough]

Day 29? Celebrate day 30! Buy yourself something nice ! Well deserved !

[Sweetness91]

And nolifeforme, what dosage were you on and how long? I know there really no comparing because everyone is different, but I was on somewhat of a low dose also, well...from what I've read, I was on a low dose compared to alot of other ppl. I was on 50mgs for about 8 years...

[Sweetness91]

Hey...I would never dog a hillbilly...lmao...I spent alot of my childhood years growing up in good ole' Kentucky...I had a twang accent like no other hillbilly around! I love hillbillies...lol. And it shows...cause I still do hillbilly stuff like putting my electric blanket in my recliner so I can wrap all my achy body parts in it! Hehehe.

And oh...you are sooo right! I have gotten the point that I'm actually kinda getting used to feeling like sh*t...if only my kids and hubby could get used to it and accept that it may be this way awhile I would probably feel a whole heck of alot better about the whole thing. I'm starting to get alot of pressure about getting a job...NOW...and helping with the bills that have accumulated over the last 2 1/2 months and its very stressful. I'm so afraid that I'll get one and not be able to handle it physically...and where I live...there aren't many jobs to choose from to begin with so that makes it even harder. I tried talking to him and he just doesn't get it...he thinks my recovery time should be the same as his...even though he was coming off Percocet and I was coming off methadone. Big difference!!

[weaver71]

Hllbilly stuff, but it works? Don't be downin my hillbilly heritage. Like my dad always said, "Poor folks got poor ways."

[weaver71]

You know what I think of methadone, you all said it all, thanks.

I kept taking all the high doses of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids for 90 days, that's when my tummy said, "Okay, okay, enough is enough." You may feel like you are only existing, but you are healing every minute. I think you need all the nutrition you can get until the fog starts to lift. I so relate to the frustration of thinking it would be better by now. I felt that too. I had to learn to readjust my expectations constantly. I finally found that I had surrendered to feeling out of it forever. Time sped up, the cloud went away, and I continue to live the unexpected with surprise. Without expectations and true surrender, we open ourselves up for miracles. You have so much to look forward to. You are doing awesome. Keep it up.

[Sweetness91]

Thanks guys! Y'all are such a great support system right now. And greatescape...I actually put an electric blanket in the recliner and lay/sit on it quite a bit. Hillbilly stuff but it works right?? Lol.

[meg321]

I have to agree with all of you about the meth, my Dr gave it to me for pain and I was sick and for once didn't do my research.  Noone should ever touch it for any reason whatsoever, it is that bad.

I tapered down to my last, very small dosage and I couldn't go any further.  I just called the hospital and checked into the drug rehab program.  It takes 18 months to withdraw from them and I cried the whole 28 days I was there.

I would never touch them again, a lot of people never get off of them.  But it can be done..you are a good example of it.

Hugs, meg

[greatescape13]

I bought 2 of the walmart brand extra long heating pads and wrapped my legs in them and put my feet up.  It helped..so did walking.  Thank you so much for sharing your experience, its definetly an important message!!  Hope you feel better soon  :)

[Sweetness91]

I have no intentions whatsoever of ever touching that crap again...it is pure evil. I honestly don't even desire it. I do however, want this pain to subside a little. I thought I would have a good day today, I slept almost 4 1/2 hrs last night which is a huge improvement for me. That's more than I have been getting in 2-3 days. And I do have to say, this morning wasn't too terribly bad...it's been this afternoon for the most part. Seems like that's when it usually sets in hard...afternoons and nights.

And yes, it did feel great to have a really good laugh! I need more of those.

[SunnysideUP27]

Congrats to you on 29days! It took me quite a while to feel normal and i still am workign on myself at 245 days. It was hard in the beginning, i remember 17 days i felt amazing!! Pink cloud kind of feeling. Well obviously that goes away. At day 29 now is the time to really work on you, your health and your mind. These days are critical. I personally wouldnt touch meth especially since you are out of the physical wds for the most part. Meth wont help the mental, we all need to go through that no matter what we take or how long we wean ourselves. Stay strong and congrats SUNnny!

[YesLife4Me]

Glad I could help you laugh!   :))   Feels good, doesn't it?  

[Sweetness91]

And I totally agree...the ones still taking it are the one who say, "oh it's not that bad...it helped me!" They have no clue....none. I'd like to see those same "promoters" sustain from using it one month and see what they post then!! I would rather deal with the pain I originally had than deal with what I am now. Little did I know.....

[Sweetness91]

Lol...I've been told I should be a poster child before...lol. Not for this...but when I read that I had a good laugh...a hard laugh. My kids are still wanting to know what I'm laughing at. It brought back alot of childhood memories with my two older brothers. Good one, nolifeforme!! Hehehehe

As for the magnesium...I did add a straight magnesium vitamin a few days ago and I'm still take the calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement...as well as B-6, B-12, and a wide spectrum mineral vitamin. Plus I'm drinking the whey protein shakes. I don't even know if I should still be taking all these, or when I can start dropping the amts on them?

And I'll make it through, I just need to moan n groan every now n again. Lol. It's like I want EVERYONE to know I feel like sh*t! Thanks for the support guys...y'all are awesome :)

[YesLife4Me]

Yeah..and the person that is recommending it (that probably is still tapering) will change their tune quickly once they quit taking it.   While on it, it's easy to sing praises about how great it is.   See how you feel after quitting, even if you taper.  

[ricart70]

Hey sweetness.Just hang in there and keep it up.It will get better.You are strong and good job on warning people about methadone.I know that ten people can say don't and then one will say do and wanting to keep the buzz they will listen to the one person(who nine times out of ten is still taking it) who says do. Anyway keep it up! 30 days is great

[YesLife4Me]

Hi Sweetness....Your journey in itself should be the poster child for this forum on why not to get on methadone.   In everything I've read, experienced myself and witnesses first hand, it is a nasty, nasty drug.   It stores up in your body building a toxicity and seeps out for a very long time after coming off it.   It took me a month to come off a low dose of it and I tell you, I didn't think it would ever end!    I truly hope your pain ends soon.   Have you tried taking magnesium?   I started it for my fibro and it does help take off the edge.   On the bright side....30 days tomorrow?   Are you getting a chip??