xanax abuse and withdrawals?

[kissedbyanangel]

Hi. Im a 26 year old mother of two gorgeous children and a great supportive husband. I am a pill addict....mainly xanax, tramadol and hydrocodone. I started taking hydrocodone in 2005 and taking xanax in 2010. My dosage was half a milligram twice a day of xanax and 10 mgs of hydro every six to eight hours. The xanax is my huge problem....Im now up to six to ten mgs a day. no, im not lying. ive hasd blackouts, losing entire days at a time, conversations you name it. Im currently out of tramadol and xanax and have no choice but to go cold turkey, my doctor is a pusher and wouldnt help me anyway. I just took my last dose of xanax last night(2 mgs) and took 200 mgs of tramadol about four hours ago. Im feeling withdrawals already and i know its reallllly idiotic to go cold turkey off xanax so my husband(who doesnt use at all) is trying to track some xanax down for me so i dont have a seizure or die. Im scared to death, I have withdrawn from xanax several times just due to running out. Im on day one now....i have some flexeril, valerian root and amitriptilyn that was prescribed to me from a recent car wreck...my husband was driving and we got rear ended by a guy that was high on speed....but i dunno if any of those meds will help with the withdrawals. ill try to post everyday....its so hard withdrawing with a 14 month old and six year old who i would die without. my main goal is just being there for them and with my neighbors help and husbands support i hope i make it. so far its just fatigue and shakes crying depression anxietyt and intestinal issues. im trying. any advice would be great. thanks.

[hangetsu]

I hate to tell you but it's going to get worse. I was worse off at 3 weeks than the start and if a friend hadn't stopped by and gave me some benzos I don't think I would have started to get better when I did. That allowed me to get the first real sleep I'd had in 3 weeks and I started to come out of it over the next week with the help of the benzos.

If your hubby isn't going to help you then you need to do what you have to do to help yourself get though this. For your own sake. Is there any way you can get more benzos to allow you to taper? If not I would call my doctor and advise them of what you're going through or what ever it took to if that meant going to the ER. I'm not advocating drug use, I'm telling you this because going CT can send you into a seizure. He doesn't know what's in store for you.

I hope you can get some help.

[kissedbyanangel]

its day two and i already am more depressed and anxious than ive ever been. my husband is very unsupportive all of a sudden. he doesnt understand that im not sleeping and trying to take care of a baby and a six year old and detox at the same time....i feel like im dying....and all i can do is think about ways to kill myself. my husband wont let me get medical help but he is threatening to take the kids away to his moms to be away from me. im so scared.....no one will help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Clong45]

You are in a bit of a pickle to say the least.  Please know I only wish the best for you, but this is a situation you can't just jump out of.  You are taking way too much to quit ct all at once.  It would be possible with the hydrocodone and tramodol...but not with the xanax too.  Especially with the amount you are taking.  IT'S NOT SAFE!  You need to go to the doctor or even the er(like hangetsu said) before it gets too bad.  Trust me and anyone else who knows...benzo withdrawl is HELL when you quit CT.  I did it...but it was very hard.  And I pushed the boundary with my life cause I wanted to be done with them so bad...but it was not safe and I got lucky..Been off them for eight months...but I would suggest tapering them..  Please tell your doctor.  You can only handle so much..

[hangetsu]

None of the things you mentioned are going to help you though Xanax withdrawals.

I went CT off Xanax and it took a full month for me to get though it. I didn't sleep more than 15-20 minutes at a time for the first 3 weeks and have never been so tired or wanted to sleep so bad in my entire life. It felt like electric shocks were going though my body and it's a wonder I didn't have a seizure. I thought people were out to get me and when night came barricaded myself in the house, blocked the windows so they couldn't send in dogs, and walked form room to room in a totally blacked out house carrying a pistol all night long. And that's just a little of what went on. I know in my soul I don't have the strength to go though it again, it's by far the worst experience of my life.

This in not something you want to do. When my ex ran out I would go out and find her some too so she didn't have to go thorough WD's. You really need to be under a doctors care and if nothing else I would go to the ER before I went into hardcore withdrawals, because believe me it is hardcore.

I'm not trying to scare you and am not exaggerating one bit. I really wish you the best of luck and let me know how you're doing.

[danielle792004]

Hang in there girly! I am going thru some of the same things. I was on Hydrocodone for close to 3yrs and I'm on day 15 and experiencing Loss of appetite , nausea, body aches, Extreme headaches, fatigue, dizziness, it's all apart of withdrawing. However, I do take .5mg xanax as needed which has been at least twice a day with all this stuff going on. I have had anxiety for 15yrs before I ever even started pain killers so I know how severe the attacks can get and when your trying to kick opiates it's that much at an all time high! Im a little fearful in getting dependent on the xanax to help me thro so I'm trying to watch myself on them. I've felt very depressed as well and I'm typically a very pro active social Gemini. I've kept in my room for the last month. I can't even go to the grocery store at this point it gives me too much anxiety and I love to cook! We have to give our body time to heal. We were use to "Super Power" Opiate energy, it was taking the place of releasing seratonin for us, as I"m hearing from everyone else on here , all these symptoms are a part of quitting and take it one day at a time and hang in there! As each day goes by , your one step closer to "Normal" again. I have two little girls also and they are more so my reason to get my life back! I've had so much Nausea and I pray more than I ever have just to feel good again. I did get out amazingly so for a walk with my kids this evening the fresh air felt good! Just remember we took these for along time so our body needs time to rebuild itself., it knows what to do we just have to be patient and try to not get too depressed and know that it will pass! I'm fighting the same battle. Hope some of this helps , your not alone. Hugs.