Today I'm officially off methadone! I just have to get through the withdrawel now :(

[Electra1982]

So I'm taking the advice from kim,kiylen,gnarly & mr. lucky who've all told me thats I should prob jump to zero now that I was on 4mg a day. So I'll keep an update on how I'm doing. I took my last dose of 4mg yesterday morning around 8:30 am. It is now 12:06 pm and I feel ok. I don't have much energy and I can feel the legs starting to ache. I'll post again later. Any advice and support is appreciated.

[kiylen]

It's okay.  Don't get yourself really scared about this process.  You are right in the middle of the absolute worst of the physical part.  The worst may last another day or a little longer.  After this, you will still feel bad for several days but nothing like you are feeling now.  Then, you have really got to concentrate on your aftercare because you are going to have no energy and be REALLY depressed if you don't take steps to try your best to avoid them.  If you can, get on a good antidepressant it helps and it may sound stupid but write this down and try to remember how it feels.  If you go back on any drug, especially methadone, another time will come when you have no money for the clinic, for pills, or something will happen that you can't get there and this is not something you want to live with.  Why do this for nothing?  You are amazing at going this far.  You should feel so good about yourself I know it's hard to feel good about anything but so far you are one of the heroes on here that are fighting it through and not giving in.  Like I said, message me, I will give you my number, call me anytime day or night because I wish I had had friends back in the day when I first detoxed that I could have called.  It probably could have saved the rest of this he!! I will soon face.  I mean it.  Call me just to cry or whatever and I will listen.  After the worst of the pain, try to get out.  I didn't for months and it made me sooo much worse.  Make yourself do the things you don't want to and you will actually feel better afterwards even though it's torturous while you're doing it.  I have said a special prayer for you and God will be there if you will please just ask.  It seems so small and useless but it is so powerful.  I'm not here to lecture you, just want you to know you are almost there.  Like I said, you are right in the middle of the worst part.  I know it's hard to message and post and to call people but try to keep contact going with us.  It really will help.  And like I said, please let me know if you need to talk, I've been through it all.  

You have been so strong and you still have it left in you.  You really are one of the heroes on here for me to look up to and look back to in a few days.  I care about you...let me know how you are.

[Electra1982]

this is day 4. it's 2:00 p.m. I feel like I'm dying.

[Electra1982]

So it's 2:18 in the morning and I've just woken up with horrible leg aches. I used rub A535 on my legs and wrapped them up tight in gauze as someone suggested which worked pretty well- untill now. I got in a huge fight with my boyfriend earlier. He has not been supportive. He never bothered to read up on anything about methadone and now he has called me lazy for not doing household chores during these two days. He still expects me to get up when he gets up for work, make him breakfast, clean kitchen, do the dishes, do laundry, fold and put away, make the beds and prepare my own food. He says its not like my legs are broken, they still function so I should still be able to cook and clean. Am I totally in the wrong here for being upset.

[Electra1982]

I'm very suprised on all the support I've been receiving. It's really been lifting my spirits. So it's now 3:07 p.m. on day 2 (or maybe day 3 - does the morning you take yout last dose count as the first day? or would you only start counting after the first 24hours after your last dose?) Anyways, today has been rough. It's almost as if the pain comes in waves. Watching a DVR of last night's Saturday night live really helped alot. I guess laughter does releive pain after all. It's not easy walking around because I feel like Im 100 years old. I know it's going to get  lot worse before it gets better. And knowing that " The pain is healing me" makes a lot of sense. I'll keep on posting - thanks for everyone support.

[kiylen]

It sounds like you're doing great.  You have a very positive attitude and I know you will beat this thing.  I do understand what you are doing through even though I'm not quite there.  I had to go cold turkey off of 240mgs one time.  That was one heck of a ride.  I only allowed myself to get back up to 70mgs at the clinic this time, have been there almost seven months and when I drop off I will still probably be at around 35mgs.  I know I can do it if I came of 240 and stayed clean 90 days before!!

You may have a couple of harder days ahead but you keep your focus on the goal you have set, make God your comforter at all times and know you are not the only one fighting this battle.  I can't tell you how strong you are for doing this.  Think of all the people still in line at those clinics that have been doing the same thing for, some of them, ten years!  You don't want to be like that and I can tell from your posts, your are an intelligent person with a good spirit and you don't want anything inside you that will keep those good qualities suppressed!

I am here for you all the way, and in ten days, will be taking the same ride with you.  Please message me anytime.  If you want my number, I can give you that, and I will talk you through whatever you need, anytime you need. I'm up and down all night anyway because I have lupus and it's hard to sleep sometimes anyway.  My point is, I will do anything I can because I want you to win this thing and we all care about you.  Just message me, I will give you my number and if you just want to call and cry, I'm here just to listen.  Sometimes that in itself is a pain reliever because it's such a release.

Take care my friend...you are in my thoughts and prayers always...Brandy

[NoMoMeth4me]

Awesome job so far!!! It sounds like you are doing GREAT to me.......I had VERY LIMITED if any sleep the first two weeks. It really made me think I was going crazy and out of my mind, I'm a grown mand of 44years and call tell you I shed many a tear in that first two weeks but as kiylen said, THIS PAIN IS HEALING YOU!!!!! Those are wise words of wisdom that I suggest you hang your hat on until things smooth over. Things may get worse for you but just know you are getting closer to your goal with each passing second,minute,hour and day.
I found it didn't truly hit me until day 5 and I was thinking I had it beat by day 4 so I had a mental/physical let down I wasn't ready for.
-My prayers will be with you.

-Brian.