Tough times!

[armbarjim]

I have been in a relationship with my sons mother for the last five years.Last night she told me she no longer has "those feelings" for me any more. I am heart broken and sad. I am on day 3 of no opiates and feeling crappy and now I am super depressed. I cried and cired yesterday and wondered why God was putting me through this. I thought I was a good dad and fiance. I guess not. Now a guy has been txting her and she is deleting the messages right away, I am in a spot right now were I want to say **** and just jump back in to the oxys and go numb!

[chronicmistake]

Don't do it!!! I know this had to already be a terrible time emotionaly and you are used to using to numb your feelings.   Now you have a heart brake on top of WD and WD already causes you to be emotional. Can you go see a counselor? Go to NA meetings?   This is such a big test of your strength and if you are on day 3 and going through this you have already proved so much.  You are not a bad fiance or dad.  You cannot control how others act.  It is her mistake and loss and you are going to look back in  a couple of years sober and with someone who loves and respects you.  Keep on fighting!! You can do this!!!

[dominosarah]

Numbing yourself up wont change the situation.  Stay on the path you are on right now.  Hit up a meeting, they are free and full of people who have had the same thing happen to them.  Let yourself feel the emotions right now as painful as they are.  Keep talking to us.  sara

[Danny111]

Hey man, Im sorry you're going through both these things at once.  Having someone leave you is always hard no matter how old you are or whether or not you've gone through it in the past.  We always wonder where we went wrong or what we were lacking, or why we werent good enough etc..  The fact of the matter is it just didn't work out.  It isn't an indication that you're not a good father or fiancee.  

Getting clean won't make your girl come back but it will get rid of one huge problem in your life.  Going back to the pills won't bring her back either it'll just make things worse.

It would probably be really helpful for you to get to an NA or AA meeting or maybe talk to an addiction counselor type person.  Keep posting, you can get through this.  

Whenever things are at their worst it seems like it'll last forever but the time passes things will be better.

[armbarjim]

This is def hard! Man its def hard!

[laurel453]

going back would not resolve anything, armbar  ... hang in, pls,... i know you want to find a hole and forget and this hole is the pills but we don't know what can happen in the future only that if you go back to the pills everything will be worse...keep on working on your recovery...and you will have a life to build up and recover too. Go to a meeting , don't stay alone with your thoughts now.

[Danny111]

I'm sorry man.  I've gone through both the getting dumped and the wd's.  I think maybe the getting dumped is harder but I'm not sure.  Two very different but very tough things to deal with.  I know that people tell you a lot of stuff about being better off without her or it being her loss etc. and none of these statements really help much.  Time passing is the thing that helps the most I think.

Get sober for your son if not for yourself.