I need your support right now

[Kimby34]

Hey guys. I'm on day 4, and I'm really struggling. I feel like I am exhausted, I can't sleep. My head hurts. I'm SERIOUSLY contemplating calling in more. I just really don't think I can live like this. I feel like hell. I'm irritable. I'm miserable. Nothing helps. Last night I soaked in Epsom salts, and I may go do it now once my lil guy goes to sleep. I'm slipping here. No-I'd say I'm falling fast.

[ariley13]

That's so sweet. This helps me and my recovery just as much, if not more than it helps you guys.

[Kimby34]

Ariley-I don't know who you are but you are my guardian angel. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to come on and check in on everyone and offer advice.

[ariley13]

Good for you!! On to day 5!! It's going to get better really soon. Hang in there! You're doing great girl!!

[Kimby34]

I'm lying in my Epsom bath again. And I know I've made it through day 4 thanks to you guys. I do actually feel better tonight. My husband made me go on a walk with our son and dog so I got a lot of sun. I still feel very restless but know I'm almost through the worst. I did tell my dr I was abusing them, but I know him and know if I called and said nothing else worked he would gladly call more. But I told my husband about how much I was thinking about it and he made it very clear he would be livid. So, here we are.
Perky mom-hang in there!!! Start a new thread. These guys on here are aGodsend. This is where I turn when I'm at my weakest. Have you tried anything for the symptoms?
Again, thank you guys. Ill update you tomorrow. I have orientation for my new job all day so it may feel "normal"!

[Perkymom]

I know hoe u feel im 34 hrs in and wish I had a "guy" I could call. I'm scared at the hold it has on us. I googled
How to find drugs from strangers!!! Can u imagine! I feel so weak and want the pain to end. Mostly I would like my head to think something anything else it won't give me a minute of quiet :( help

[VICourageous]

OK!! Please do not cave in..TIME is the Greatest healer. It depends on many reason why and how quick you will bounce back. It takes a lot of hard work not to crave the pills and I 110% agree with NG this is when we need support. You could be running to a meeting or calling someone on the phone when you feel like giving up. Just remember that there are MANY of us that made it through. Keep that chin up and Look Ahead and Hang on Tight.
Bless

[meegWpaw]

Kimby you are doing great please don't call any in.  I really wish you would cut that source off completely, it is going to call your name as long as its out there.  I know bc I kept one source thru the doctor for a long time and I relapsed on it a lot.  this is the most dreadful period of w/d ... if you can just stick it out it will get better.  like the others said, listen to music, go for a walk, as you said, take a bath ... watch a movie on tv do anything to get your mind off using and how you feel physically.  you can do this!  I am rooting for you!

[ROSYouralright]

Hang in their my friend!! You can and will get through this. Wd's do not last forever. Please don't let all of your hard work be for nothing. You will be feeling better soon kimby. I'm so glad u posted here instead of giving up. Their are alot of us going through this with you. I'm on day 6. It gets easier. Do anything you can and get and KEEP YOUR MIND occupied. Keep your thoughts on other things. Music had been my saving grace and I'm staying clean..one song at a time.

[nursegirl6572]

So sorry you're going through this but getting more isn't the answer (as you know).  Sure, it will take away your w/ds, until you have to do it again, and typically, every time a person goes through w/d again, it becomes tougher, physically and mentally.

You need to eliminate your sources, cancel your scripts and all refills.  Just like you ended up taking the pills you had lying around the last time, the refills will continue calling your name.  That's your addiction mindset.  The  more roadblocks you put up to using, the better chance you have of being successful.  I cannot stress that enough.

Next, do you have support at home, in friends or family?  That's SO important.  Addiction is something that is hard (almost impossible) to battle through alone.  For one, you need the support, and two, without people around you knowing, you have no accountability, which also keeps you in a position to relapse.  You don't have to shout it from the rooftop, but choosing one or two people close to you to confide in and turn to would help you so much.  If you haven't confided in anyone yet, I'm sure you're scared to do so, everyone always is.  You will be amazed though at the support and reactions you will get.  I can honestly say that in all the years I've been on this site, I've never once seen someone come back and report in this scenario (ie them confiding in a support person for the first time) where someone reacted in the way they were worried about.  That's not to say the loved ones weren't sometimes a little shocked or sad, or disappointed, but the overall reaction is almost always support and love and concern.

How about any aftercare?  Have you thought about going to a meeting of some sort?  There are all kinds of aftercare approaches, from NA/AA, to private counseling, etc.  I know you feel lousy right now, but the sooner you can get involved with something like that, the better.  You'll get much needed support, and you can even get a sponsor, which would be a Godsend for you in these rough moments.  Someone to call, to "talk you down" so to speak.

Get out and do something, even if minimal.  Take a short walk, do something to try to get your mind off how you feel.  Sitting around ruminating will make you feel worse.  A LOT of how a person tolerates w/ds is mental.  Some people make the process much better by adopting a positive  attitude, reminding themselves that this will pass, being "ok" with not being okay for a short while.  Then there are the people who fill there mind with negative defeatist thoughts, like "I can't do this", or "This is too hard".  It's something you can try to work on, write positive sayings and read them over and over.  Things like "I CAN do this"...."This is only temporary"...."A short time of discomfort for a lifetime of comfort".  Things like that.

Of course, you have lots of people here cheering you on also!  You can do this!  Keep posting!

[ariley13]

Hang on! This is probably your symptoms peaking. It usually happens around days 4-6 (just depends on the person) and what you are feeling is your brain's last ditch effort to make you use. It's screaming at you right now! Try to stay as busy as you can so you don't dwell on how bad you feel, or how much you want a pill. Exercise if you can. As much as you can stand. Even if it's just a walk, or dancing around the house. It gets the endorphins firing, reduces anxiety and cravings, and it makes you sweat which helps to rid you of the toxins and make you feel better faster. Just know that this will pass very soon. Take it one minute at a time if you need to. You said -I'm SERIOUSLY contemplating calling in more.  This is the reason that we all say to cut your sources. Weak moments or days like this will do you in if you have access to pills. If you haven't told your doctor yet, I would highly recommend doing this ASAP. I know that it's uncomfortable, and no one wants to do it. It's also very scary because you are totally getting rid of any backup plans you have. If you are committed to staying clean, and you really want to change you life, you don't need a backup plan! Please really consider doing this. Set yourself up for success, not failure.
I am proud of you for reaching out instead of using during this rough time. We are here for you. You are doing great! Hang in there and know that this too shall pass.

[michael1953296]

No long dear the body will come back to balance. I know it seems like forever right now but only a couple more days. You will begin to feel better but it will be slow but you will know soon enough when your body begins not to react..
Hang in there
Michael

[Kimby34]

Thank you. I know deep down I don't want to call in anymore but holy crap this is awful. I just can't live like this. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I have been reading posts, and got outside with my family all morning. But all I can think about is getting relief, aka, Vic. Congrats on flushing them!!!!!!!! That's so amazing. I had kept 4 the first time I quit as a "just in case" and ended up relapsing and taking them. I have no where bear the self control to have any around me.
Michael-how long until I'm over this "hump"?!

[livyspop]

Im with you Kimby. Im on day 5 and going thru the anguish myself. Last night I felt great, had a smile 10 miles wide now this morning Im back to the bottom again. The first 2 days I stopped I kept a couple of pills "just in case" and it made it so much harder they just sang to me. I finally built up the courage to flush them that night. Please dont call in a script think of the time youve put in already. I need help getting thru this and Ill gladly help you get thru it too.

[michael1953296]

Well you are not alone dear. No one can live like this for long but remember detox will not last long. Sounds like you may be peeking which is good cuz it will become downhill soon for you.
Make sure you stay hydrated, and eat even if you are not hungry. It will pass soon..
Keep busy, read others posts on this board, do a google search to see what others have used to decrease WD's.
Best
Michael