Aa
Day 3 yeah me!
Well i managed to sleep a full night again wich im greatful for since i know so many people are struggling with that aspect. My biggest problem right now are CRAMPS the kind only ladies can relate to;). Im used to vicodins to get me through so this is a struggle because there real bad! Im fighting thru though with good old motrin. Im feeling a little anxious but the fog is lifting so thats good! Im gonna beat this.. I am...through all the crappy stuff im feeling HOPE for the first time.......sending love to all of you...Nessa
DAY 3........UGH HOW I HATE DAY 3. My mind is a tricky little sucker cause this is always the day i relapse on because my mind tells me im feeling ok by today and then i think well if it only takes 3 days then i'll be ok if i take a couple today. so this time is going to be different im not going to go any where today im going to stay locked up in the house till this feeling is over. case my tricky little mind is playin games with me today telling me im feeling ok but im not falling for it this time! so today will be spent on the couch watching movies and being lazy which, will not be that hard considering i have no energy anyway.
Day 2......what a drag! my day today has consisted of sleep, sleep, and more sleep! but i cant complain too much cause i would rather sleep as much as possible through this. I have to say though that reading some of these posts has helped get my spirits back up. ooh yes and nessa bringing me some meds also helped A LOT! im going to be thanking nessa for that immodium for a long time.
Today the urge and cravings were as strong as ever. its consuming me. i just want to feel normal again and i know that taking pills will make that happen. im not saying im going to do it but im just saying that the feelings are there. im tryin to convince myself that i am stronger than this. its working but not very well...i feel like im going crazy inside fighting with myself. i mean i was taking 30+ pills a day! so the urges are very strong. thankfully im at my friends house and i dont have my car so theres no way for me to leave even if i wanted to.
And tomorrow is the dreaded day 3 the day in which i always relapse on. so im going to try and stay as positive as i can for tomorrow. maybe that will help? i just feel deep down inside that i was not ready to get off of them. i know that i need to but im just not sure if i was ready. buttttt i will not go back to them i was just speaking what was on my mind. i felt like it was something that i needed to get off my chest.
Today the urge and cravings were as strong as ever. its consuming me. i just want to feel normal again and i know that taking pills will make that happen. im not saying im going to do it but im just saying that the feelings are there. im tryin to convince myself that i am stronger than this. its working but not very well...i feel like im going crazy inside fighting with myself. i mean i was taking 30+ pills a day! so the urges are very strong. thankfully im at my friends house and i dont have my car so theres no way for me to leave even if i wanted to.
And tomorrow is the dreaded day 3 the day in which i always relapse on. so im going to try and stay as positive as i can for tomorrow. maybe that will help? i just feel deep down inside that i was not ready to get off of them. i know that i need to but im just not sure if i was ready. buttttt i will not go back to them i was just speaking what was on my mind. i felt like it was something that i needed to get off my chest.
ya i took night one, have no desire to do again. Right now it is - what is is. Cannon firing, and sleep issues. gonna give it a go now too. I will chat with u all tomm. Have a great night all, well as good as it can be anyway, We're geetting there, and laughin too. Big Bouns
Oh and xanax is supposedly one of the most addictive pills out there. So be careful.
matt
matt
LOL. That sounds like some wicked wind you have. Well, at least I can rest easy knowing that the world will not need to hire Ben Affleck to stave off Armageddon this week. There is always an upside.
My guess would be that the stress of withdrawl has given you some temporary irritable bowel syndrome. You should try some GAS X or pepto to settle the breeze in your pants. Some relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation might give you some relief if you can quiet your mind for it. Exercise is definately a good remedy.
Whenever I get stressed out I get an array of digestive issues including gas and the trots. When the stressful situation resolves, so do these problems. Just like the rest of these rediculous detox symptoms- it will go away in it's own time reguardless.
This too shall pass gas.
Your doing fine. Stay strong and let us know how it goes.
Matt
My guess would be that the stress of withdrawl has given you some temporary irritable bowel syndrome. You should try some GAS X or pepto to settle the breeze in your pants. Some relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation might give you some relief if you can quiet your mind for it. Exercise is definately a good remedy.
Whenever I get stressed out I get an array of digestive issues including gas and the trots. When the stressful situation resolves, so do these problems. Just like the rest of these rediculous detox symptoms- it will go away in it's own time reguardless.
This too shall pass gas.
Your doing fine. Stay strong and let us know how it goes.
Matt
by the way my mom gave me a few xanax and it didnt help me one damn bit, I to this day have about 7 hrs sleep in 4 days. Amazing im even functional. Maybe Hylands will work for you, as Ness says. Its over counter sleep aid, seems to work a lot for people here, give it a go! let us know. Rest ez, you too Nessy
Matt, anyone? What in the wide wide world of sports is up with this gas i have, is it normal to have such bad gas that i could change the trajectory of an incoming asteroid?
Huge props to you for 100 days! I cannot wait to acheive such an admirable milestone. I am in awe of your success.
A few weeks ago, I could not imagine a day without opiates. Now, and it has been such a short time clean thus far, I could not imagine what a day with opiates would be like. What a waste of a day to use. I believe that now because of the amazing support I have recieved here.
Take today for example. It's the end of a long and trying day... you come along and share your success and it makes me buzz inside with the prospect of such wonderous things to come in my own life.
Really, 100 days, wow. And now- on the next 100!
Matt
A few weeks ago, I could not imagine a day without opiates. Now, and it has been such a short time clean thus far, I could not imagine what a day with opiates would be like. What a waste of a day to use. I believe that now because of the amazing support I have recieved here.
Take today for example. It's the end of a long and trying day... you come along and share your success and it makes me buzz inside with the prospect of such wonderous things to come in my own life.
Really, 100 days, wow. And now- on the next 100!
Matt
lol. Good for you. Glad to hear that you are in good spirits. It is nice to be able to connect with people on a real level again. You sound like you are well on your way to much better days. Keep doing whatever you are doing. Each person I meet here adds to my arsenal of weapons against drugs. Thank you for keeping me armed and ready.
Take good care of yourself. Treat yourself like royalty and focus on this recovery. None of us should have to endure this hell again. No way no how.
Lots of love to you and all the rest!
Matt
Take good care of yourself. Treat yourself like royalty and focus on this recovery. None of us should have to endure this hell again. No way no how.
Lots of love to you and all the rest!
Matt
Matt, Brian, and Ness - I love reading your posts. You guys definitely have a connection and are helping each other through this. Awesome and congratulations. I have been clean 100 days as of an hour ago and even though you guy are newer, you are helping support me too - thanks!
Thanks for your kind words, as always. I'm glad you made it through another day. I know it was tough. I think we are all trying to keep it strong and tight for the sake of each other. Its almost as if we are dividing up our misery and sharing it in order to make it to the other side.
So no man in your life? It seems like that for a lot of us addicts. We have been dating those ugly orange prescription bottles for too long. Funny thing is, I am not really interested in dating for a while because I really want to focus on myself. In a way I want to rebuild and re-release myself into the social world when I am more confident in my sobriety. Everything we have to give, we should be giving ourselves for a while.
I am really having trouble sleeping now. Any suggestions? And what is Hylands? The only thing I have been taking is a multi-vitamin, fish oil and drinking that nasty Detox Tea.
OK girl, day 4 has begun for you. You should be feeling so much better in just a few more days. Try not to get ahead of yourself, I know you must be feeling like you have been hit by a bus full of bricks. Take it one day at a time like you have been. I will chat with you tomorrow. Oh and smack around Belle if she gets any ideas about taking a pill!
Peace Matt
So no man in your life? It seems like that for a lot of us addicts. We have been dating those ugly orange prescription bottles for too long. Funny thing is, I am not really interested in dating for a while because I really want to focus on myself. In a way I want to rebuild and re-release myself into the social world when I am more confident in my sobriety. Everything we have to give, we should be giving ourselves for a while.
I am really having trouble sleeping now. Any suggestions? And what is Hylands? The only thing I have been taking is a multi-vitamin, fish oil and drinking that nasty Detox Tea.
OK girl, day 4 has begun for you. You should be feeling so much better in just a few more days. Try not to get ahead of yourself, I know you must be feeling like you have been hit by a bus full of bricks. Take it one day at a time like you have been. I will chat with you tomorrow. Oh and smack around Belle if she gets any ideas about taking a pill!
Peace Matt
Matt, i nearly pissed at your comment! havent smiled like that in years, good mood now or not, too darn funny. I am still very unhappyw/my weight - too skinny, but overall i agree with the whole vibrancy deal, I felt that today to while getting a pack of smokes, girl checking me out....whaaaaat! and Im not gay, but said hell with it! I'm just gonna smoke instead.......another time eh? Your amazing Matt! Keep posting, you keep me and others goin brother (sister) whatever :) Chat soon buddy
Hey there Belle. Thats a very pretty name. So glad you decided to hop on the fun wagon here. Can't you tell, it's such a party... you know with all of the headaches, RLS, nausea, anxiety, cravings. I mean we really know how to have a good time. LOL
Seriously though. You really have to try to find the lightness and humor where ever you can, because detox is misery.
The good news is that it is only temporary and then you can begin to get your life back. I am thrilled that you have decided to take it like a champ and do the right thing. Not only will you save your own life, but imagine all of the people you might be able to help along your way. That for me, has been the single best thing in managing to get this far. I am going on three weeks now. I do not even know the exact date I began because I was only a shell of a person at the time.
All through the physical withdrawl, all I could think was "when will this end." I still feel that sometimes. But each day gives me an unexpected gift that I forgot about while using. Like being able to have lunch with a friend without worrying about when I can get out of there to get high, or the simple pleasure I take in not having bags under my eyes.
But Belle, this is so hard. Each day is a tremendous struggle. You need to prepare yourself for this fight. Try to keep yourself busy, but still get plenty of rest. I found a lot of relief taking long hot baths. This is really helpful right before bedtime if you are having insomnia. Keep posting on this site and ask for help when you need it. Most people here will tell you to find a NA meeting in your area. I have only been to two thus far because it really depressed me. But I live in Baltimore and some of the people around here are straight up cartoon characters even when they are not addicts! I will go from time to time in the future I suppose. The support on this site is a better fit for me I think.
I am proud of you for making this decision to get your life back. Ness is so early into this process, but has shown huge strength of character. Lean on each other.
Please check in with me and let me know how it's going. Get ready to get knocked down, AND THEN GET BACK UP!
Yours,
Matt
Seriously though. You really have to try to find the lightness and humor where ever you can, because detox is misery.
The good news is that it is only temporary and then you can begin to get your life back. I am thrilled that you have decided to take it like a champ and do the right thing. Not only will you save your own life, but imagine all of the people you might be able to help along your way. That for me, has been the single best thing in managing to get this far. I am going on three weeks now. I do not even know the exact date I began because I was only a shell of a person at the time.
All through the physical withdrawl, all I could think was "when will this end." I still feel that sometimes. But each day gives me an unexpected gift that I forgot about while using. Like being able to have lunch with a friend without worrying about when I can get out of there to get high, or the simple pleasure I take in not having bags under my eyes.
But Belle, this is so hard. Each day is a tremendous struggle. You need to prepare yourself for this fight. Try to keep yourself busy, but still get plenty of rest. I found a lot of relief taking long hot baths. This is really helpful right before bedtime if you are having insomnia. Keep posting on this site and ask for help when you need it. Most people here will tell you to find a NA meeting in your area. I have only been to two thus far because it really depressed me. But I live in Baltimore and some of the people around here are straight up cartoon characters even when they are not addicts! I will go from time to time in the future I suppose. The support on this site is a better fit for me I think.
I am proud of you for making this decision to get your life back. Ness is so early into this process, but has shown huge strength of character. Lean on each other.
Please check in with me and let me know how it's going. Get ready to get knocked down, AND THEN GET BACK UP!
Yours,
Matt
Matt that was funny! Keep moving.....I am still not really sleeping, but take the good and bad since WE are healing. We are on the road to the rest of our lives. Hit the throttle brother! We're in this together, remember? Talk to u tomorrow see how u r, n everyone else too. THANK GOD FOR THIS SITE. Does the admin know how many lives they save on this web site alone, i often wonder, it's incredible
The most true statement ever: "These pills ARE evil!"
Ness you should be pretty close to getting past the physical withdrawals. Do you get that chills/goosebumps kind of feeling? The first time I tried to quit, that ended at about four days, but the rls and sleelessness/stress stayed much longer. Keep it up and don't forget to attack the social portion of the adiction. My relapse happened when I least expected it. Keep it up and please keep posting as you go. =)
Scotty in Phoenix
Ness you should be pretty close to getting past the physical withdrawals. Do you get that chills/goosebumps kind of feeling? The first time I tried to quit, that ended at about four days, but the rls and sleelessness/stress stayed much longer. Keep it up and don't forget to attack the social portion of the adiction. My relapse happened when I least expected it. Keep it up and please keep posting as you go. =)
Scotty in Phoenix
Im so glad your on here baby good for you! i beilieve in you hun you dont need these pills anymore there evil. take your life back Belle do it for yourself and your Dad. I love you so much. You were my real life barbie doll i could dressup when i would babysit you! Just read as much as you can and if you want to get out for a bit tommorow call me we can go get you some vitamins to take the edge off..... keep posting Belle............love you Nessa
I just wanted to let you know that you seem like an amazing person for all the support you've been giving to nessa.....i love her lots shes like a sister to me and thanks to her i've discovered this website.
How many days clean are you? do you have any words of advice for me? im only on day 1 and struggling to not give in to temptation. Is there anything at all that i can take to take the edge off of the withdraw symptoms? good luck to you and your recovery!
*Belle*
How many days clean are you? do you have any words of advice for me? im only on day 1 and struggling to not give in to temptation. Is there anything at all that i can take to take the edge off of the withdraw symptoms? good luck to you and your recovery!
*Belle*
I havent used it myself...I used hylands wich is all natural and u can get at the vitamin store.. Repost this as your own question so that way more people see it and thet can help you...or search it in the health pages it might be there. Goodd luck to you JLogan...You can do this.........Nessa
I've heard a few of you have success with epsom salt. The RLS is my worst symtom by far. I can't even lie down or sit in my recliner! lol Whoever uses the epsom salt, can you tell me how much to pour into a standard bath tub? And do you let it sit for a bit, or jump right in? Thank you so much. I hate RLS!!!!!
Scotty in Phoenix
Scotty in Phoenix
Matt your Gorgeous, Come to think of it we are some good looking Addicts lol! Looking better everyday. I know wht you mean about feeling a bond i feel the same way about you and brian. Everyone has been such a help but to have you guys in my cheering section and going through the same thing it means alot to me.. Sorry didnt mean to get all cheesy..lol. I am looking forward to the new me and hopefully meeting a nice man myself :)..........Keep looking Fine Matt xoxoxox Nessa
Congrats to you Belle you made a decision to get your life back. I think the key for you is gonna be aftercare you already know the wds suck since youve been through this before. Now think of what you want to do different this time to stay off the pills once and for all. The mind is a powerful thing YOU CAN DO THIS! We are all here for you keep postin it helps bunches....Im sending you love and strength......Nessa!
Aw shucks. Thanks, I feel a special connection with you and brian. We are all in the same place with a similar past. And we are so damn smart and good looking. lol
Let me tell you about a small gift I got today.
I was getting out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was like: "Oh, How you doin'?" Who is that sexy man in the mirror?
One of the things I had not expected was how different I am looking. My eyes are bright, skin is radiant and clear, and I'm at my ideal weight again. There is an all around healthy look about me. Some girl was flirting with me at the vitamin shoppe today. I felt so good about myself I almost asked if she would like to get some diner with me. Then I remembered that I'm gay!
But this is something to look forward to. I never felt attractive while high. But now I really want to continue to take care of myself and get back out there and meet someone nice. I suppose this is life happening as it should have always been. Oh how I regret the time wasted on the pills, but everything that has ever happened has made me the person I am today.
So get ready for your glamour shot!
Matt
Let me tell you about a small gift I got today.
I was getting out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was like: "Oh, How you doin'?" Who is that sexy man in the mirror?
One of the things I had not expected was how different I am looking. My eyes are bright, skin is radiant and clear, and I'm at my ideal weight again. There is an all around healthy look about me. Some girl was flirting with me at the vitamin shoppe today. I felt so good about myself I almost asked if she would like to get some diner with me. Then I remembered that I'm gay!
But this is something to look forward to. I never felt attractive while high. But now I really want to continue to take care of myself and get back out there and meet someone nice. I suppose this is life happening as it should have always been. Oh how I regret the time wasted on the pills, but everything that has ever happened has made me the person I am today.
So get ready for your glamour shot!
Matt
So i took your advice nessa and im now a member...... so today is my first full day without takin any vicodin i feel like ****! the urge and the cravings are consuming me. I dont think i ever told you how badly i am addicted. I could take up to 30 750mg vicodins a day... There were times i thought i was going to overdose but luckily never did. I was and still am miserable. I've lied cheated stole and manipulated the people around me and did a very good job at it just to get some pills. Nobody really knows just how bad i was. I've quit a few times in the past but it keeps pulling me back in. I've been taking them since i was 16 and really became addicted to them in the past 5 years. I've taken suboxone it worked pretty well for me but this time i'm going to try cold turkey. which i have also done in the past but has only lasted a couple weeks before i relapse again. I have lost so much from taking pills. when i look back at all the money i have spent on them it makes me sick. I've never tried support groups before but im hoping this will help. So i guess if any body on here has any words of advice im open to it. Goodluck to all of you with your recovery......stay strong and keep your head up every day that goes by is another day closer to becoming yourself again.
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