ugh! BACK AGAIN! Relapsed for the 3rd time,day 3

[bugsy89735]

I really dont know what to say, I have had a total knee replacement and I think that triggered this relapse, Huh, looking for excuses again! I am a failure and was born with a toxic brain! I would to thank my parents both of whom were alcoholics and child abusers for my mixed up head! Its funny there are 4 of us kids and we are all screwed up, my brother has hepatitis from shooting heroin, my sister weighs 90lbs and takes all kinds of pills, my other sister is a closet drunk and still lives at home and then there is me! I am the youngest and seen everything and I was also included in the family beat sessions,anyway I am just SHOUTING out right now and need to vent. UGH, these dam pills, they suck and they are the devil, for real! This will be day 3 for me cold turkey as always, feel like a truck hit me and then decided to back up and do it again! Well, just venting off some steam, here I go again, this time I am hitting those meetings immediately! I am looking right now! thanks for listening to me whine! take care bugz

[Bkitty]

~Remember courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying " I will try again tommorrow" That is a saying by Maryanne Radmacher. Pick youself up again. You can do this,,the first days are soooo hard. One dat at a time.~Bkitty

[jlannspr]

This is your chance to be "different" to show everyone that just because you came from this background doesn't mean that you will be like the rest of your family. I am the only college gradute of my family, and am proud of that. Some of them think I'm a bi***, but I choose not to hang around them due to their habits, and to get my life in order.

[dominosarah]

You have 2 choices here, either you continue in this insanity or you break the chains and make your own path.  You dont have to be a victim here anymore.  Get going with some recovery care.  Face those demons you have bottled up, it will set you free~~sara

[bugsy89735]

I can not tell how many times you have answered my demons, I just wanted to say thanks for caring Sarah! I am going to a meeting wed night, wish me luck, thanks again, Bob

[bugsy89735]

Thanks , I am also the only college grad and I am a registered nurse who worked in maximum security prison the last 24 years. What, I guess I did not learn anything from the joint, working with addicts all my life did not help me as an addict! Well, thanks again, bob

[ImDONENoMore]

As far as I'm concerned, considering the difficult childhood you've had - the fact that you're still trying says a LOT about you.  Feel proud of that because you should be.  Makes you a winner in my book.  :)