Tylenol 1 Addiction / Sense of Hopelessness

[mobiius]

Hello, I'm new here... I'm 31, married, and the father of two.  I'm also addicted to tylenol 1's.  On average I take 15 pills at a time, 3 times a day.  There have been times when I have taken 20 per dose.  About half hour after I take them I get the high I want, but it doesn't last long, then I feel sick.  By the end of the day (after eating 45 to 60 pills) I feel horrible, I'm pale, bloated, and have difficulty going to the bathroom.  I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I don't really care.  I've been struggling with depression nearly all my life as well.  I look at myself as "damaged goods".  I feel that I'm broken and can never be fixed. I'm taking a lot of medication for the depression (Effexor 75mg x 3,Effexor 37.5mg, and Prozac 20mg, all that once a day)I like to drink almost every weekend, I smoke cigarettes like others breathe air, and I take tylenol.  I know that the tylenol is doing damage to my body, they must be by now - I've been taking pills like this for almost 2 years pretty much every day.
I'm not even sure what to do anymore...

[Skyfoxglitter]

I live in Michigan, I came to Canada and bought some of those we call them 222's and they made me feel like sh** to, Is this something you want help getting off of? Or have you tried stopping?  I know that opiate addiction and depression go hand in hand did you have the depression before the abuse? I don't mean to ask so many questions it just helps to know some of these things to help you..

[mobiius]

The ones with Codeine.  I live in Canada so I don't need a prescription to get them

[mobiius]

I've been depressed my whole life, even as a child.  I was severely abused by my father when I was young.  As a teenager I drank a lot, I smoked pot constantly, and I did LSD for quite some time.  I stopped using LSD and pot and was sober for a few years, I got married, went to college, in general I just got my life back on track.  But the depression was always still there in the background.  Gradually it got worse and worse and I started using 222's.  With depression you manifest physical pains and complained about back pains to my doctor.  She started me on T3's, then I abused those.  Then I complained more and she upped my meds to oxycontin and percosets - large quantities of both.  Then she pulled me off them cold turkey and I went through terrible withdrawls.  My depression became worse, so I saw a phsychologist who diagnosed me with depression.  I was put on antidepressants (which I still take), but now I've also gone back to using 222's.  I've quit a few times before, but always seem to go back to them after a month or so.
I do want to quit using.  I just cannot find the right motivation or reasons to do so.  I should do it for my wife and my children, but it just doesn't seem to help.  My wife knows a little of my addicition, but not the whole story.  She doesn't know I'm using again.  I've become very good at hiding my addiction, like most of us probably have...

[Buaidh No Bas]

Dude,

Check out the post directly below yours. While the w/d's from the T1s might not be all that bad, the amount of acetaminophen you are taking is going to DESTROY your liver in short order. You've gotta stop taking that much, ASAP....

I believe T1s have 300mg of ACET, so, 15 X 300 X 3 = 13500mg

That's 13.5 grams of Acetaminophen a day. MAXIMUM dose you're supposed to be taking is 4 grams.

Just something to think about...


BNB

[mobiius]

I really appreciate all the advice.  I don't find the WD from the 222's very bad, just more of a nuisance (compared to the HELL I went through going cold turkey from the oxy and perc cocktails).
I just really love to be high...

[Skyfoxglitter]

I don't know about anyone else but I can tell you about my personal experience, I abused vicodin for about 5 years and was also very good at hiding it from my husband as well, I did try to quit c/t about 8 months ago because he wasn't really very supportive about it and he basically told me it is a mind over matter thing and I should just be able to quit if I really wanted to.. Well needless to say it did not last very long I went right back to using.. Well I finally got sick and tired of feeling like sh** everyday and went to the out patient clinic in Detroit where they put me on Suboxone about 2 months ago and that is like a Godsend to help with the withdrawls.. I really wanted my husbands support so on the advice of vicaadict who is also on this forum I had him read all of the posts here to get an idea of what addiction is like and that it is not a mind over matter thing, it is real and real people suffer from it. He is a completely different person now and very supportive. I know that depression is a horrible thing to deal with and I am very sorry to hear about the abuse you went through as a child. I am sure your depression is a very hindering problem in your recovery from opiates.I think maybe if you get your wife a little more involved maybe she can help you. If not this is a great place for you to start as we all know what you are going through as far as the addiction sometimes it just helps to talk to people who know how you feel.. Please let is know what we can help you with I know I am willing to help you in any way I can..