We should trust doctors right? WRONG!

[DoctorsTurnedDealers]

5 years on Lortab Soma and Methadone when I ran out of tabs . I have been wanting to get away from the death grips of opiate dependency for a while and so far after maybe 3 or 4 attempts this is by far the farthest I have made it. 3 DAYS! YEAH ME :)

I can hardly express in words how pissed I am at my pain doc. Maybe I got hit in the head and it made me think but 3 days ago I took my last Lortab and said "I am done with this ****!" I have always felt ashamed of how I became addicted to pain killers. I couldn't understand it. So the last couple of days I have been reading the hell out of a bunch of articles ect. I realized something. What kind of doctor (a person who i supposed to help you) would take a new patient (me years ago) who was getting a respectable and safer dose of 30 Lortab 7.5 and write me for 180 Lortab 10mg, Soma 350mg and xanax 2mg? I will tell you what kind of doctor would do that........One who knows unlike I did at that time that the drugs he prescribed me were HIGHLY ADDICTIVE and more than likely I would eventually become dependent on them and he would have another 200 bucks in his pocket!

I know he didn't force them down my throat but honestly if it wasn't for him or anyother alike I would not have had to go through so much.

I am pretty suprised actually with day 3. I felling slightly better than day 2 but got some more time to go. I had want away from the expense and cloud more than I ever have before. I passed up a Percocet last night! <------------Who the heck am I? <----------one determined s.o.b sick of the Drs. curse. Pain? I have no idea but its able to be chilled with two tylenol! I did get a little bit of an anxiety attack yesturday and took half of a 1mg xan (which I very very rarely ever take) <-------------just never did anything but it helped shew away the panic atttack. I am not letting my guard down. I've made it this far and put up with this curse for too long. Time to find myself get to know myself and interduce myself to my wife and kids. I thank my wife who has my back. We have both been through hell. She also takes pain killers but unlike my old self has always been able to stick to the dosage. A few months ago I thought she would never admit she was dependent on them and wanted to get off of them. Well she admited it a few weeks back. She is determined to see me succeed and I plan to take her hand and bring her to the real world with me. :) Thanks yall. I will try to keep up posting. I would love to share more of my story and help someone out of the hole or close it so they don't fall in. PEACE

[dominosarah]

I think that is great you are going to seek aftercare.  Using is just a symptom of what goes on inside us.  So many people think once they put the pills down the addiction is over(me included at one point!) and they dont need any help.  Doing it our way got us here in the first place.  Hold that clean time sacred and make you the No1 priority~~~sara

[DoctorsTurnedDealers]

Thanks for your support. 4 days now and the physical withdrawl symptoms are nearly gone. I did get up yestruday and now again today and go for a walk and have been doing a little cleaning. My appetite is back so that is awesome.

I agree with the mental part being the hardest. I've had a couple of times were all of a sudden I had a craving for the medication and when I think about it I have to tell myself is that If I chose to take just one lortab that one lt wouldn't help and it would just end up being back to the same **** and I don't want that again. I found a good n/a group near by my house. So I plan on going there for uplift and support. I went to AA years ago because I was required to but I liked it.

I never realized how easy it was to become dependent on pain meds. I was scared to talk to my doctor about the feelings because he would probably just have kicked me out. Even if he didn't kick me out I kind of doubt he would have helped me get off them but hey I'm here now and I'm doing it.

[dominosarah]

Sounds like you are doing pretty well at this point.  I would get up and move around as much as you can.  Gotta get those natural endorphins working again.  The mental part is the hardest...what are your plans?  Any aftercare?

[Bubulous]

Perhaps that can of soup will hold you over. lol  I am glad you realize you can't let your guard down.  Did you go overseas?  If you did you can look at this addiction like an IED.  You didn't get hit everytime you went out but you were likely to get hit eventually and if you kept your head strong and your body strong it would be less likely you would "flight" as oppose to "fight".  

In a sense, being prepared for the cravings physically and mentally will serve you greatly when you are faced with the tragedy of temptation.....Good Luck  Military-(Keep your head down) Civilian-(Keep your head up)

[DoctorsTurnedDealers]

It has nearly been 4 days now without any meds. I am feeling alot better today. I'm not having any cravings for pain killers as of yet but I'm not ever letting my guard down.

I won't go to anymore doctors for pain meds lol. even cymbalta. I am actually amazed I don't have much pain. Now of coarse I have been a couch potatoe but gettin some energy back. Every now and again my neck hurts and I will take Tylenol. So yeah I'm shocked no pain. I am taking everything slowly and kinda learning how to listen to my body rather than swallow some pills and shut it up lol.

I'm telling ya this now. I am really excited as the time goes by but I know it's a long road ahead.

The Xanax I rarely take. I've only got a 1mg left.......I've been taking vitamins to help my poor body lol. I can't really eat anything yet. I am drinking plenty of water and gaterade. The vitamins I am taking are B12, Vitamin C,  B Complex, Fish Oil and Glucosamine Sulfate. <------------I figured since I can't keep food down I've got to take something to help my body. I did ....drink...... a can of soup lol.

It's gonna take time for my body to learn how to function on it's own again.

Thanks :)     Oh I was in the military too

[Bubulous]

Often times pain medication can be therapeutic at first.  When the addiction happens it is not likely something that can be overcome.  A normal doctor throws this stuff out like candy.  

At the same time you can do research into other medicines that might help.  I have never taken it but Cymbalta is prescribed for deppression and chronic pain.  If you really wish to be off the pain meds please try something else.  Recovery and healing will be less effective if you stop all medications.  There are also different types of benzos that you can take that are less addictive and longer lasting than xanax....I am not a doctor but you have the power to refuse medicine and ask to try somthing different.....Good Luck