Whine with my Cheese :)

[GoingToMakeIt]

I am going to serve some whine with my cheese.LOL
My wife and kids think I'm on this computer too much. I know it's a lot of time but it has been a release for me. I enjoy helping others. Besides, up until the last dew days. My back has been out and there wasn't much else I could do. It has been in spasms for 4 weeks. I guess I need to hear a perspective from you guys. I am aware that life will someday return to more normal. When, I don't know. A person, Chi_Chi_Lover, piped in today and said they were 11 months clean. The first six months taking things for sleep. I don't have that problem, but energy and motivation are just not there. Words of wisdom and encouragement are needed. Day 67

[GoingToMakeIt]

You're the amazing one. Fentanyl is a 'big boy' to get off of. I do appreciate your posts. Take care.

[Jacqui805]

Just got back here a few minutes ago.  Tried to lay back down because of the pain.  Unfortunately the anxiety is so severe I can't sit still and I'm a shaky mess.  I feel you dude.  I told you yesterday all I could do was come here and read, I don't know what's enabling me to even type today, except that I care what happens to you and about you.  You're an exceptionally decent man and you do deserve a break.  We can't be all things to everybody all the time.  Cut yourself some slack.  You'll come around again, hang in there.  

[GoingToMakeIt]

OK. Taken under advisement.
I do most of the cooking and when my back is spasming, I'm down on the floor, or barely able to move. I will re-arrange my times on here. Wife works many of the nights. I guess today is just a real 'down' day. Thanks.

[VicUser]

OK, you ask for it so here is my opinion. There are many things I am sure you could do if you wanted to other than spend too much time on the computer. I understand with back pain that you may not be able to run the sweeper or fold the laundry or scrub the toilets, but what about helping make supper, light dusting, help the kids with home work, play a board game or even make popcorn and watch a movie with your wife? I stopped taking my meds for back and leg pain the same time you did according to the math. I too suffer from low energy, some days a lack of motivation, more days than not and constant back and leg pain, some days more than others. Yesterday was real bad and I ask for suggestions on becoming focused. I only work half days, whichever twelve hours I want. Not really, I leave the house at 6:15 AM and get home at 6:45 PM. Please don’t get me wrong, I understand your pain and it hurts. But please, please try and do more with and for your wife and kids, they will love and respect you more if you do.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Chi_Chi. I know you're right. I felt like a brick hit me this morning when asked about the time spent here. I feel like every day is a balancing act between happy & sad.

And Jacqui, yes I do take Flexiril when the back tightens up too much. It helps but then the next day I am still a bit groggy.

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

Aren't dogs the best?
The drugs do effect every area of your life but you will get past it the drugs you have made it so far. The drugs will not be on your mind every hour it will get further and further from your mind. You have to find something to take the place though. I don't know if you work and I know you can't do much exercise but you've got to find something meaningful to fill your time and then this will one day all be a thing of the past, Everyone has hard days and days of depression and not everyone was on drugs. It's just life in general sometimes.

[hopsing94]

LOL Magi. Sorry but Dave is coming to Houston and he's bringing all the coffee equipment down here. Dave funny you should post this today. I've been getting the same flack at home too. Like you always tell us,take care of you. I think the energy will come,pull your strength from within your soul. You do a tremondously good thing here and no one will ever forget it. If you need a couple days rest then rest. Our prayers are with you and we all pray you back gets better. Your very kind to share your warm hearted kindness and caring with us. I Thank you.
I can see Magi and Mary trying to pull a fast one here and sneaking you off to FL. Don't believe anything they say LOL
John

[GoingToMakeIt]

I accept. :)

[flmagi]

I'm sorry but your spouses will served their papers shortly. We here at the forum will be filing for joint custody of you two.
:)

[GoingToMakeIt]

Thank you all for the comments. I try to be 'up' for everyone here, but it isn't in me as much today. I too feel this site has been a big reason for staying clean. I really love everyone here. Chi_Chi, you are not butting in at all. I used you as an example. This is a commitment for the long haul. It is very sobering to realize how much these drugs affected every area of our lives! r2r, I know I'll settle in to what is balanced for me. Right now I need this place. It helps me keep my mind active. As far as exercise, with my back being in spasms. The exercise is going to be as I can. I did walk last night. The first time in weeks, and it felt good. My dog loved it, too.
Big hugs to all of you.

[toxictome]

I am glad you have spent soo much time on the pc...it has helped me enormously!!!
I can understand where the wife and kids are coming from...but look at it this way...you are prol' spending more "quality" time w/ them just because of the fact you are clean!
I too have been on her WAAYYYY tooo much....but it's what i need right now...and i know it will taper off and then i'll just be on occasionally, but i am so glad you and everyone else was here..and are here.

Day 67...that is AWESOME!!!!

I am leaving shortly to have "whine " with my therapist...altho it doesn't take long for her to rein me back in...LOL

I can realte to the energy and motivation problem , or lack of, I should say...but i know that will start trickling back into my life and eventually i will find balance!!!

Keep doing whatever you are doing..it's working!!!

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

Sorry to be piping. Your energy will return it takes time. Everyone goes through different symptoms. I have suffered with insomnia my whole life so when I was going through my withdrawals it was really a problem and the ambien helped so I could get some sleep to take care of my kids and obligations.Having No energy was also a big problem to me but I started working out and taking long walks with my dogs as soon as I could probably after first two weeks it helped some. The thing that helps the most is time I know that is not a quick fix when you feel like **** but time heals everything. I stayed on this forum for the first few months, I did this all on my own with help only from this forum. I haven't posted in a while I have been out living and enjoying my life. 11 months later I am free of all drugs. I want to help you all like I was helped in time you will move past some of the baggage of addiction and start living without thinking about it so much. This is the first time I have posted in a few months I really don't mean to be butting in

[road2recovery]

Well gues what? SAME thing is going on here...Even my little one is saying things like mom you are not listening to me, u could hear me, but you can't see me, just that computer!!!  made me sad, of course i did get off, and went play with her for a while..

My husband is going alot for work, but he is coming back in a couple days and he asked if i would please start watching more tv with them and put the computer away...
I LOVE trying to help others, that is just who i am, and it also helps me...BUT i hate to say this, but i will have to start spending more time with my family..Although you are my family too in my heart, I think it is about that time..
i will admit i think i am addicted to this site too!!!!

So i understand, and i understand our spouses point..If my husband was on here as much as me i would not like it one bit ...lol

I guess life moves on too....But i will be on alot when he is at work HAHAHA
r2r

[Jacqui805]

Day 67, awesome!!!!!!  I so envy you, you know that's true.  I gotta tell ya, now my kids are at school, and the hubby is at work, so I don't have anyone to annoy but even if they were here, it's all that's getting me this far.  I lay here and feel so bad and when I grab my computer and come here, it usually all gets just a bit easier during the time I'm here, to deal.  Have you taken any prescription meds for the spasms by the way?  Either in the way of muscle relaxants or Valium?  Or are they not considerations or options for you?  Right now, I'm sure it's too much computer in the eyes of your family, but, I think the wife, if you explained it as follows to her, would understand a little better..........the prize, the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, is out there.  You and she both want it.  This is way to get there for you.  If you didn't have this support, what day would you really be on.  If this helps you to get through the rough spots, you'll make it to day 365 and on and "need" this less and less along the way.  To you, as a wife who loves the sh*t outta her husband, she said the computer use is too much because she loves you, misses you, wants to be with you.  So, if you tell her you understand, and really do, and you spend a little more time with her and kids, and you tell her your deal here, it may be a win-win for the both of you.  You're doing great and are invaluable to me.  I need you here and I'm proud of you for making it to day 67 and for having the strength to help others while you're going through it too.  You're a great guy, you gotta hang in there and recognize your accomplishments while you look to the end of that tunnel.

[oxygirl487]

i menat im proud of u also  lol   sorry

[oxygirl487]

i think u and i started together right?....look at us..here we r 2 months clean.....im proud of ...hell im proud of me....lol.....at first i never thought id make it this far but thanks to u and many others on here i have and so have u my friend.......i dont have a sleep problem either so i guess we r lucky huh......just hang in there it gets better......u know that....isnt today a better day than nov 1st 2007?......think about it

[oxyaddict420]

First off CONRATULATIONS ON DAY 67! THATS AMAZING MAN!

You are on here alot. But that is a great thing for alot of people newbies and oldies..  people that are on here alot and have been on since a while back are just so used to seeing your posts and reply's and words of encouragment and advice. The newbies need to see the " click on my name and then go to the thomas recipe in my journals" that ALONE has helped so many people..

As for the energy and motivation, like you have said many times yourself.. TIME IS THE KEY!  You already believe strongly in vitamins and exersize right?  But with your back spasm's you can really do the exersize as much true?  So once you are OK to get some workouts going I think your energy will start to come back...

KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, AND BE PROUD OF WHERE YOU ARE TODAY!!! I KNOW I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!

YOU ARE PROOF THAT RECOVERY WORKS!

YOU ARE A STAPLE FOR THIS WEBSITE1

WE CARE ABOUT YOU BEING HERE!