Day 11 CT hydrocodone-getting brighter but what about sleep?

[Nursey7]

Day 11 CT Hydrocodone things are looking up-cravings weren't as bad yesterday at least. I went to church and it was if the sermon was written for me. The praise music was amazing and I pretty much cried the whole time and it felt great. I have so much guilt built up in me; the release was great!  My friend said quit beating yourself up; God has already forgiven you. Then during the prayer my pastor said please pray for my friend that is battling addiction and looked my way. I started balling again. My youngest son who is 20, who is battling depression called(which he hasn't called in awhile) and asked if I wanted to hang out. So we went to lunch and bowling and had an absolute blast!!! We laughed, hugged and did a little trash talking over who was gonna win-all without Hydro!! Other than the anxiety this sleep this is driving me nuts though!  I have tried Melatonin, Valerian Root and Benadryl and I just can't sleep. I don't want to take any prescribed sleep meds.  I really think this sleep thing is what's messing with my brain-anxiety, cravings, etc. My mind just wanders all night and I have had a headache for the past 2 days.  Is there any miracle drug that anyone knows about for sleep???  I continue to give my praises to this group-they are the bomb!!! ;-)

[selfinduced]

Your post so hit home with me. I remember the emotional emoting for the first two weeks. The tears just flow from gratitude, guilt, body chemistry balancing out. I would crank up a country song and go for a drive to let it all flow (on  my terms ha). Each day without using will bring you new confidence and new self esteem. Just keep it going.  As far as sleep, A dr. told me you will never die from lack of sleep. Your body will give you what you need. I know this is of little comfort, but it is true. Tub baths, sleepytime tea, daytime exercise, no tv when in bed,get early morning sun to reset your body clock. All these things will help. Most important.....just don't use, not today.

[Nursey7]

Thanks for sharing and caring; my theme song right now is Jesus take the wheel.  I have heard of that tea; I will give it a try. My sleep hygiene is horrible as far as the exercise, tv, etc. And your right the most important thing is not to; thanks for the refocus. Have a great day!!

Marianne

[Katya5555]

Hi Nursey,
I feel you about the emotional purging. Last night I had some really intense feelings and nothing to make them stop. I'm proud that I could tolerate it , but was amazed at how far away from my feelings I've been. I still need a good cry, but it'll come. I'm sure of it.
Lots of sleep trouble here too. I'm on day 9 or 10 CT from Norco. I just can't fall asleep or stay asleep. Aggravating! Well, maybe I'll go to the 7am early risers meeting since I'm already up. Let's hang in here together. Surely all the physical details will eventually work themselves out. I saw a post from Phillip at 21 days and he said he sleep was finally getting back to normal. We spent a long time using, it's going to take a little time to get back to zero.

[Nursey7]

It sure helps to know that you are not alone doesn't it? I really felt that way before I got on this forum. That part is my fault as I have exactly came clean yet to the people that I need to- just so scared. I did at least tell 2 friends and my pastor though. It's hard to let people know you aren't perfect. LOL!!! ;-D. Yeah those emotions just flood but I guess it makes sense though. I spent 7 years in a fog, false happiness, being a liar, agitated and so panicked when that bottle got low and that refill wasn't even close. I think 7 years is 2, 555 days and I have only been clean for 11. The sleep thing may not kill ya but it makes it very difficult to focus on my job and my life!  Yes please let's hang in there together as we are at the same place. I hope you have a great day ;-)

Marianne

[Life360_Dave]

Good for you Nursey, youve come along way. My 2 cents about the sleep problem is just reflect back to the first days of your quiting and remember the horrible withdrawals. That memory is whats keeps me going. At least that is behind you and that to me is the very worst part of all this. Just a bit time more and all we be back to normal for  you. Just look at this a learning lesson as you did not know the end result of abusing, dont beleive non of us did!
dave

[Brightfutureahead]

Hi guys! Hi Nursey and Katya... ;). Really just....ditto!

Day 10.

Katya - I too saw the post from Phillip and it was encouraging!

I guess after years of knocking myself out with those pills every night and sleeping like a stone I can't really expect my brain to just return to normal on command :-/  I guess my dark circles and I will just keep going. oo

[Nursey7]

Thanks for the support!! It's nice to know people care and there is a light at the end of the tunnel in the not too distant future ; )

[Nursey7]

You are right about knowing I would become an addict and going through this crap. I really need to look at it like that more often instead of beating myself up and thinking I am a dumb butt!!   And yes at least i don't have the physical pain to deal with too!  I will never take good sleep for granted ever again!!! Thanks for being there and have a great day :-)

[conhall]

Hi I had same issues with sleep,
I stopped drinking any Caffeine after 3 pm and also I worked out and pushed myself so I would be exhausted and Eventually it worked also the exercise is good for those endorphins.
Take a Hot bath before bed get your body very relaxed and start winding down . I would take melatonin an hour before bed and just relax yourself. try not to get to caught in any action packed movies just slow your brain down.
The First time I slept the whole night I remember waking up and I almost jumped out of bed Shocked that I had slept
I was so happy, it was such a good night.
It will happen your body will adjust just stay positive and try not to put to much pressure on yourself because that will just make it worse.

[Nursey7]

Thank-you!  I know I really need to start exercising; my husband has been trying to get me to go with him forever. The TV period I don't like on at all and my husband can't sleep without it. I need to learn to relax and wind down. I am definitely Type A and a fricking perfectionist. It drives me nuts; I guess that's why I liked the hydros cuz it mellowed me out!! Well until the bottle was getting low of course.  I used to do biofeedback and that helped. My work days are so long and it is so hot in the south.  I am so exhausted by the time I get home.   How do you find time to fit it all in?  You are always so positive; it's amazing!! I have been trying so hard to be like that. I do good for awhile and then I just lose it and get so anxious and agitated.  It is only day 11 I guess. I did good with my patients today though and managed to get in a NA meeting. Felt good and weird.  Anyway thanks for caring so much; it's obvious you really do ;-)

[kyle505]

Like conhall I used melatonin to help with sleep. As stated it the previous posts, sleep is the last thing to fall in to place. I've posted this before, but I ended up on this forum complaining about not sleeping than I did when I was in the hell of detox. But it does return. Exercise is very helpful; even short walks. And for me (it's always about me isn't it) it wasn't just the physical reward of exercise - it was more about the feeling of accomplishment; getting off my butt and doing something. The mental reward was tremendous.
Finally, the anxiety is part of the extra drama that stays with us for a while after detox. You'll find yourself fretting over the littlest things - stuff you wouldn't give a second thought to otherwise. And that stops.
Great job...Really proud of your progress.

[kyle505]

Sorry...the above should read "...on this forum complaining about not sleeping MORE than I did when..."

[phillip28]

The sleep will come I promise ....I finally got to where I wasn't fighting myself to try and sleep...I would just nap here and there....around 2 weeks I slowly started to sleep more and more...it is now day 22 and I feel like I am sleeping fairly normal....get ready because one day the sleep will just sneak up on you...ENJOY IT...

[Nursey7]

Very reassuring; it sounds absolutely wonderful!!!  I would be happy for 3 or 4 hours. I am running on an empty and look it!! Thanks for your post and sweet dreams ;-)

[conhall]

Hi I am sorry I didnt respond sooner I was running Marathon last night hahah Just kidding.
I know it gets hard finding the energy to get motivated and yes its hard But you really have to push yourself and you will see that once you start doing things that are healthy and helping you its like the Gates open up. Walking for me is so great! It gets your mind going in a positive direction. If You sit and dwell on the pills it just gets worse. You have come through the Physical part of detox now its just mental.  You have to help yourself get over this. And each day it does get better. I have had a major obstacle happen to me when i was 20 days clean but I didnt let it relapse me. I broke my arm I had a horrible accident at work and fell and also herniated disc in my back. I had surgery on my arm and now am stuck in a cast. I didnt let this stop me I pushed through it all and Yes it was hard some days I have major pity party! But i want to be clean I want My Life back So i will take my life back Myself each day i get up and I fight for my sobriety!  You said I was very positive Thank you But for me I have to be because Once i got past the Phy Wds I knew I was not going back To counting pills the anxiety worrying the money I spent! it was so tiring . And being off the pills whenever I get a craving I just remind myself I dont want that life anymore. So I do what i need to to make sure that doesnt happen. Stay Positive help yourself You have to . And I truly believe aftercare is sooo important and also getting rid of the pill source If You have a refill Red Flag yourself because if you dont It will weigh on your brain that its there and You want to get past the anxiety get rid of the PILL source I promise you Life does get better! keep posting I hope your day is going good.