I gave the pills to my mom!

[wransomejr]

Big step for me today. I already reduced my intake of 10/325 Hydrocodone, but if I really want to taper I know I can't have the pills handy, so I gave up control and gave them to my mother this morning. I have absolutely no reason to be in w/d at this point, but my mind is already playing tricks on me. I have that gnawing feeling in my stomach. Anyway...gotta get used to dealing with this sort of thing sooner or later so might as well be sooner. But I don't think I realized in the past how much of this can be mind games. I know a positive attitude is important and I have that, thankfully, and I am grateful to have someone like my mother who will support me, and love me unconditionally, and let me know how she disagrees with how I let this happen (again) without sounding like a broken record. But yes, the race is on! -Randy

[minn66]

Hi Randy, you took a big step there. That's great! I've had the weird pill dreams too. Mine is about opening a drawer and finding a big pile of them in there. A lot of us have those and other strange dreams. I just wanted to say that so you wouldn't think it is unusual.

Hugs and prayers and have a blessed Sunday :)

[wransomejr]

Thank y'all for your support. Last night I asked my mom for 2 pills, one for bed and one for this morning. I am a church musician and get up at 6 on Sunday and they sleep later and I am not going to run by and wake them up.

She gave me one and a half. I took half at bedtime. I had a lot of weird dreams about finding pills in strange places and a lot of dreams about my 10 years in San Francisco, people there, my beloved late partner who turned 50 just before he died suddenly in 2006 (and I am about to turn 50 in May). Some restless legs but I tend to have that anyway. I slept plenty I guess.

I took my one pill at 5 AM. I did not crack it with my teeth like I usually do.
I should be good for work. My mother will probably let me have the other half after work which will be 1ish. She has two others in reserve and I am not going to my "dealer" to get any more today. If I only get 1/2 at bedtime I am bound to have a bad night but we will see. We've talked about going and seeing the family doc but so far only talked.

Thanks for the pep talks. They help! -Randy

[jusmejen]

Hey. Thanks for posting. I know exactly how u r feeling. I am also tapering and gave the pills to my husband a few days ago. Just the anxioty of not have access is very difficult. I am certainly not in w/d either. But dont like the feeling of not being in control of"my pills". My plan is to taper as much as i can until next friday. Then flush watever is left and do what meeds to be done!!!! As long as i keep busy everything is ok. I am so happy to have his support. I really feel bad for those that have no one to lean on. Keep up the great work. You are strong, and are heading in the rght direction.
Blessing,
Jenn

[atthebeach]

RUN THE RACE RANDY RUN.