afraid fo a relapse

[Destiny4]

so the pain that i have been dealing with for so long 2 years now that i have had 4 surgeries to fix is back.  This pain is the reason that i got hooked on the pain pills to begin with and my doctor originally told me not to get off them because it was chronic pain.  Why cant they figure out what it is and fix it? i am going to have to go to the ER since both of my doctors told me that if it is making it hard to move around i need to go to the ER.  I havent gone yet and have dealt with this god awful horid pain all week.  I know if i go they will give me something for pain and i am so scared i will relapse. Has anyone had to deal with going back onto pain meds for pain (TOTALLY NOT RECREATION) if it was recreation i would of been at the hospital on Monday.  I need to know if anyone has had to go back on meds was it hard to get back off. I am 3 months into being pain pill free and i dont NEVER EVER EVER want to have to deal with w/ds again.

You guys were the best suport when i came off the pills and my appreciation runs deeply. I just really need some suport right now. My husband is mad that i wont just go to the ER but he has never been addicted to something and doesnt understand how horid it is to come off them again. I am not a gluten for punishment.

[Destiny4]

thank you again for your kind words.

I ended up going to the ER last night and they think it has something to do with my liver based on the new CT scan they did last night.  I am going to see a specialist next week.  just wanted to give you guys an update and let you know what was going on. You have ALL been GREAT!!!!!1

they did give me a script for vicodin 5/500 that i will be taking as needed.  My huby is goig to be disbursing them to me.  I will let you know what happens and keep you informed.

all my love
des

[SFgirll853]

Hey girl!  Lllooooooooooong time to talk!  I am so sorry you are going though this.  I CAN tell you that I successfully went on and off pain meds when it was just vicodin 5/500's.  I would take them "as needed" for real for 5 years whenever my pain was bad.  I would do 3 months off them, then 1 week on when my back went out.  I actually went for a full year without meds and no cravings or anything... just living my life until my car accident last year.  That was when I was switched to the 10/325 norcos that I got hooked.  I hope you are ok.  my thoughts are with you my friend!

[sadinmichigan]

hey girl!! i am so sorry you are in pain..there sure seems to be alot of that going around these days..including my own..it sucks..but you know..the pain meds don't really work as much as they hurt..I support whichever you decide..sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do ..right? I sure wouldn't be one to get surgery and try to brave through the pain without something..at least for a few days...it's taking it for months and years thats the problem..or 20-30 a day..I am praying for you my friend..The list is growing quite long...xo Lisa

[Destiny4]

thank you so much for your wisdom and suport. I have not yet gone to ER just so yall know.  I am trying advil but it is not seeming to work.  i tried the heating pack for some reason that made it worse, so i dont know.  I am trying to be strong and get past it hoping it will ease up soon.  THANK you again you guys are great and your words and suport help me VERY MUCH in my time where i need a little suport.

all my love and prayers.
des

[GoingToMakeIt]

Well said.

[GoingToMakeIt]

It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry about the pain. Only you can judge if it warrants pain meds or an ER visit. Certainly pain meds were designed to help with pain. It does sound like it's time to find a new Dr. I don't think my Dr would ever tell me to go to ER unless it was after hours.

[ready2help]

Two points:

1. Don't want to sound like a broken record but if you want to stay clean/out of active disease and you have chronic pain or recurring pain, it is vital you get a pain doc who is also an addiction specialist (ASAM) unless you happen to know a really special doc that is well-educated on these topics. And then, have a concrete plan for what to do when this sort of thing happens - the time to figure out how to manage pain is not when you are in crisis. You decrease your relapse risk when you make a plan with a doc at a time when you can focus on your goals.

Now, that said, it won't help you right this minute, I know. But you can get through this crisis if you do everything you can to STAY ACCOUNTABLE. This is doable! Don't painic! Which brings me to the second point:

2. Get a reasonable number of pills, if you must get them. I have seen that sometimes, for addicts, just knowing the pills are there when in a situation like yourself decreases the fear/panic factor.  Have someone that will not let you manipulate them and understands what it means to be an addict be the "safety net" and will hold you accountable - they can dole them out. In addition to the pain pills, use other modalities - ice, heat, ibuprofen, whatever is appropriate for your type of pain. This forces you to look past the pills to help you manage, which will help you now and hopefully down the road. Perhaps these other things will provide some relief and you won't need to take more pills or atleast maybe cut down on them. I would try to avoid getting in to "the ritual" - you know what that ritual is for you. And if you are in active recovery, this is the time to beef up meetings, calls to your support friends and sponsor - talk, talk, talk about what taking the pills at this time is like and what it brings up for you. It really can take the power out of it. The way cathy5841 dealt with it is a great example! It really speaks to her commitment! (Good job, cathy!)

Good luck, Destiny - I know you can do this - this situation does not have to be the start of anything bad. Just be honest, honest, honest with yourself. And, as you know, you have plenty of support right here as well. I hope this helps you out a little bit.

[cathy5841]

destiny when i was 100 days clean i had to have a disc replaced in my jaw.  i begged the dr not to give me pain meds afterward.  his respose was that i had to take them or my body would focus all its energy on the pain and not on healing.  he said some pll stay on the meds 6 months after the surgery cuz its so painful.  i was in hosp.  for 2 days and i got iv meds.  i stayed on the pain meds for 5 days at home...my hubby  doled them out.  on day 6 i called and asked for ibuprofen 800 and he called it in.  i was fine.  no w/ds and the cravings were mangeble.  but i did flush the ones left on day 6.  sometimes we hve to have them..  thats what they are for.

[Destiny4]

thank you i will try that.

[johnnykelly]

Destiny,I would get all your medical-papers together from those two-drs. and then go to the E>R> and explain the situation,they may refwer you to another dr.that is more caring. john

[Destiny4]

I have called my general doctor and my gyn, they both said to go to the ER because the pain was so much.  I know i REALLY need to find a new doctor cause everytime i call for anything they tell me to go to the ER.  i would like to be able to go to my doctor but he keeps referring me to all sorts of different doctors and i dont want to play patient hop scotch NO MORE.  

[johnnykelly]

Why do you have to go to the E.R.,when you have a dr.All the e.r.will do is give you 2or3 days worth of pills and tell you tro vgo to your family dr.