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Avatar universal

can't stop.

hey, sorry if this is posted in the wrong forum.. I'm new here. In summary I'm "addicted" to ocycotin... you can read below to find out more if you want.. i guess..

Wow. I found myself on this post after searching and queering the web "Ocycotin vs Herion"(http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/368358?personal_page_id=303288&post_id=post_3625662).  like kaybe i wanted to know the difference from someone actually trying it rather than just reading the chemical components. I'm not going to lie, I'm obviously here because I've thought of trying it because the price of oxyi is getting too high, or should I say my habbit is now becoming a problem.

I can easily H, but i've steered away from it for so long because it "steals your soul". Even though you may think you don't care about anything..there are some things you still care about because your still alive. (this is what my friend told me when I asked him if I should buy it or not).

Oxy is really bad too, man. I started taking it for the same reasons listed above. You get into a fight with your girl, or whatever, and it just makes things easier. You pop a pil and just don't give a **** anymore.. wonderful isn't it? Then you start doing it to make the days go by faster at work.... you tell yourself you can stop, and that you  don't have a problem..you can even convince other's that you don't have a problem... but it really becomes a problem.

Honestly, my issue is i don't hate the drug. I really don't. I wish i could get it at a lower price. Like 15 bucks for a "60" 80 mg prescrip. That would be nice, wouldn't it? My problem is just I dont' want to stop. I just don't see a reason to.(if you are gong to try and help me, please don't use "do it for your family, do it for yourself, you'll be a much better place, etc etc"... i've really just heard it all when it comes to stopping.

Obviously the issue is me, and i need to "want" to stop. I know that. My problem is.. 1. I know I have an issue/ 2. I do CARE that i have an issue, i just can't see my way OUT of the issue. 3. The issue that I have I dont WANT to stop, nor do I find any logical reasoning good enough..

I'm just at work, bored, and I have no drugs..thats why I'm here..I guess, in a weird way, this is my way of asking for help (?)
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Avatar universal
You can quit and by acknowledging it's a problem is a big step. I was so desperate to stop narcotics and alcohol and I kept relapsing. Finally my addiction doctor suggested the Methadone Maintenance Program, as I lay half dead in his chair. He knew I wasn't long for the world and I started methadone. It stopped all cravings immediately. I have been straight now for 5 years. I could quit without having to deal with cravings and compulsions all the time.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your friend was right Heroin will still your soul, then in too many your life.. The pain of using does not out weigh the high for you yet? What have you lost to your love? If your honest you will come up with things... I hope bottom for you is not as far as it took me... I wish you well on your journey.. lesa
Helpful - 0
210982 tn?1280983895
You may not see a reason now, but you need to stop before you can't even see...you got things under control now, but have you ever met a person who did heavy drugs (as you are) continue using and stay in control?? You have a job now, you have a family now, and I think you have a g/f now...do you think if you continue you will still have all that? Pretty soon Oxy won't be strong enough and then you seek Herion (which you are already doing searches on), then a small dose of herion gets you high or feeling good, then pretty soon you need a higher dose and then higher...then you lose your job b/c you are consumed with the high and work just seems to get in the way. However, now you have no money to buy the drugs so you begin to steal...I could go on and on, but I am sure you get my point. I hope this is reasonable enough for you to stop now before it is all gone and you are all gone!! Good luck!
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
you wrote:  

" Obviously the issue is me, and i need to "want" to stop. I know that. My problem is.. 1. I know I have an issue/ 2. I do CARE that i have an issue, i just can't see my way OUT of the issue. 3. The issue that I have I dont WANT to stop, nor do I find any logical reasoning good enough.. "

I guess you havent hit rock bottom yet. Hopefully death or prison wont be your bottom and you get a chance to save yourself

good luck in your journey, I wish you well
Helpful - 0
228936 tn?1249094248
Dope is dope is dope. Street dope may steal your soul but oxy is really the same thing in pill form just a little weaker. One is legal, the other isn't. The important Question isn't about dope and which is better or worse, but if you want to keep using it and face more despair or worse
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