Looking for support. Addicted to vicodin & percoset.

[Shanee143]

Hello everyone. I have been a user of opiates for quite some time now. At least 8 years. Up until 2014 I had only been using here and there recreationally. 3 weeks off, 1 week on. After having my son in December of 2013 I was having severe body and joint pain. I was given pain medication after having my son and kept on getting pain medication to treat my joint & body pain until my doctor could figure out what was going on. Finally a month or so later I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Long story short I have been on pain medication non stop since December 2013. I am not the type of user who can take pain medication as needed. If I have it I'm taking it, constantly. I have gone through withdrawal a couple times now between prescriptions and have only made it to day 4 one time. I am now almost finished with my last prescription and won't have access to any more from my doctor until at least the end of February early March. I am ready to quit. These pain pills have become my coping mechanism. I take any where from 6-15 a day. My marriage is not the greatest, my mom is dying of lung cancer and I am so unhappy with myself, inside and out. I wanna get clean, lose weight, fix my marriage. I have two beautiful children to live for. I never imagined becoming addicted. I always thought I had control over it prior to 2014. I could use for 3-4 days straight and then stop taking them and I was fine. Now since I have been taking them for so long I can't just stop a feel okay. Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated. My husband is not the best support and whenever I try to vent to him about how I'm feeling he just tells me "oh you'll be okay" "withdrawals don't last forever". He is an ex addict himself but his drug of choice was meth. I had hoped he would be more understanding since he has been through this kind of stuff before, but he just isn't. Sorry for rambling. I'm scared and nervous and anxiously counting my pills knowing the last day is coming. I almost want to just hurry and take what is left so I can start the horrible withdrawal process. I do have good things in my life. A good job, great friends, wonderful kids, I just am a little lost at this point and I hope to find the strength to get through this. Thank you to anyone who responds. Nice to know that there are other people out there going through the same life sucking addiction problems as I am.

[Shanee143]

Thank you everyone for your responses!!

CRSeaside - Thank you for your advice. I am currently on a medicine called humira which is really helping my arthritis tons. If I hadn't got caught up in these pills I would be feeling awesome. I know that at this point in time I do not need these kinds of pain killers for my pain. Motrin or tylenol work just fine. The first time I ran out of my prescription after the humira started working I thought to myself "great, I am feeling good and not in pain 24/7 so I won't even need any more pain medicine", then withdrawal hit and I had no idea what was going on. I had never experienced that before. So then I had to keep taking them to keep withdrawal away. It wasn't even for pain anymore. I just hate these stupid pills. I have only gotten as far as to post on here. No one besides my mom and husband know about my addiction and I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it in front of a group. Hopefully you guys can be my support for a while. :)

Jifmoc - I'm sorry about your mom. My mom's cancer completely came outta left field. Cancer effing *****. Regarding pills, I have enough to last me through the weekend. So withdrawal is definitely looming.

Skrilli - I will try and do that but for me tapering is soooo hard.

Again thank you for responding. Support means everything to me right now. I really know in my heart I can get past all this, it just takes such a tight hold on you. I will come back and keep you guys posted on how I'm doing.

[skrilli]

Quit now and hold on to those extra pills you got for later (bedtime). If you didn't do a lengthy taper then it will be pretty ugly withdrawl. Well, That's what it sounds like will happen and would happen to me if I were in your shoes. Good luck

[jifmoc]

Wow, so many similarities, in terms of specifics, I have w/ you. Around 8 years of prior using, lost my mother to lung cancer in March, and never had a problem w/ anything until I found those lovely demon pills!

Firstly, you, me and tons of others are in the same boat. Good people, professionals, etc. Anyone can be an addict. So, you're just an addict who is caught in the cycle and wants to stop: GOOD. It is very doable. The first thing you need to do is cut all sources. That means, cancel the script coming in Feb., guaranteed you will use it if you have it. Delete ph #s etc. If we have access, we can't do it.

You can follow the thomas recipe for stuff to aid in wd symptoms. As you know, they suck! but there is no way around it. Just gotta do it.

When are you out of pills?

[CRSeaside]

Thank you for your post. I know when I've gotten off pills in the past, my husband doesn't offer what I need either. He just says these pills aren't good for you.
  We will be here for you. Try to figure out what alternate pain relief you'll need. I like Alka Selzer. Plain aspirin.
Have you considered a support group?
  IMO try to wean off with the remaining pills. Life is tough. I'm glad you have great kids & lots of friends.   Sorry about your mom.    Maxy