confused

Question

Ok i made my second meeting day before yesterday and it went good i didnt Talk but was a good feeling just to be there......so ive been doin alot of thinking and soul searching....well yesterday was a crazy busy day at work so i went home to relax And...k well i grew up in the "hood" and have seen all kinda crazy things...well a 68 yr old guy That helped any and everybody lived a few houses up the road from me...well a meth addict yesterday robbed murderes and stole the mans truck and led a high speed chase in front of my house....i live in the outskirts now in the country where **** like that doesnt happen...well i look on the website for our local paper and they have a pic of the man as they are arresting him and hes smileing ear to ear......this really has my head messed up and i dunno y i mean he was a good guy but not a friend r anything...and im not worried about safety i mean if someone happens to get past my dog they will just feel alot of hot ****...but for sonereason this is weighing on my mind bad and i dont know why i mean ive seen people shot and stabbed and never let it bother me...this is crazy though....no drug deal no beef just a honest hard workin man that lives off what he makes from his gardens.....y is this affecting me so bad:-/

Pat1956100 · Answer

Hi there stranger lol.
I'm glad you checked in.  You know you have a bunch of new mothers now that are worrying about you.
Your emotions are all over the place right now.  Try not to dwell on the bad stuff.  I know, easier said than done.  I can't even watch the news most days.  I count on my mother to let me know if anything important happens.  It's all doom and gloom and it really bothers me.  I'm not saying to hide but try and think happy thoughts.  Watch comedies and try, try try to be positive.
If you find it's getting too much maybe you should consider a counselor.  I think you have a lot buried that needs to come out.
Hugs
Pat

Dane74 · Answer

How are you doing?

Dane74 · Answer

The pills numb us up so much that we cant even feel pleasure, so now that you are ridding your body of the pills you are experiencing feelings the good and the bad.  When we are numbing ourselves  it is especially debilitating because it doesn't just deaden the pain of our difficult experiences, numbing also dulls our experiences of love, joy, empathy, etc. We cant selectivity numb emotions (though i wish we could) .  This is something i struggle with still but i try to redirect my brain and think of ALL the good.  You are doing great, keep pushing forward

toothfairie · Answer

I'm so sorry about your neighbor. Let your emotions out. It's cleansing. Seing that pic was a trigger for your emotions. and it hurt you. Rest assured he will pay for what he's done. If not In this life then after. Keep your head up my friend. You are great!!  Glad you are posting!!

weaver71 · Answer

All feelings are okay, how we respond is what's important. I don't just turn off my sadness to be happy, I feel sad, later I feel happy. Confusion is okay too. Feelings are like traffic signals of the heart. It sounds like you hit a stop light, maybe it's time to sit with it. Maybe it's a yellow light, time to slow down and make sure the coast is clear. Those feelings and confusion do not seem like a green light, you are staring at cross traffic. Traffic signals are warnings of how to respond to what's happening. They don't control you, but guide you to travel in harmony with traffic. All signs are legit, we are not as happy to travel up to a stop light, but we are glad we stopped and didn't just run out into oncoming collisions. Look left, right, left again. You're about to get a green light, just have to be patient. Nobody likes road rage, just listen to the radio and watch he traffic close.

ineedhelp29 · Answer

Thank you all...all of yall answers make alot of since and does open my eyes to alot.....im just confused for real dunno y i have this knot in my stomache and messed up thoughts over someone i dont know....feels crazy inside me right now....but truly thank you guys for careing this is a weird time for me and i kno i should probly feel happy that im havein feelngs but its just confuseing

ariley13 · Answer

Welcome to the world of feeling my friend! It can be overwhelming and a little scary at first, but you will eventually learn to sit with your feelings and be ok with them. They are yours, for good or bad, so embrace them. I often get wrapped up in and dispirited by the bad stuff going on all around me and all around the world. It's so hard not to. Just remember that for every evil, heinous act, there is an act of loving, generosity, and kindness. We just don't see them as much because that doesn't 'sell'. Unfortunately death, violence, and the 'shock factor' sell in today's media. Just try to always keep your eyes open for the good stuff. It's out there, you just have to look a little harder for it. Here's to all of us seeing the beauty in the world. Hang in there...

parmotinc · Answer

Those "feelings" mean you are alive...  You are living again.  Appreciate the little things in life with your new clarity.   Be Happy.  You can be happy.  Remember that you are not in control of anything except yourself.  So Smile..... Today is a new day.

weaver71 · Answer

I think for me, a lot of the pain and confusion was soured by how hard I am trying to be my very best and then seeing how awful parts of the world are. Then I get tunnel vision and focus on the negative and disquiet the positive. I obsess on something and then form a resentment. I used to just blow that process off and now I have many years of resentments built up. Now I talk to a therapist and work out how I REALLY feel about situations. Getting an objective view of my thoughts and feelings. Many times my therapist says, "That hurts me too." Then I know what I feel is legitimate, bit an over reaction. The story you shared likely upsets lots of people,'some way more than you. I guess I'm saying that I realize my feeling are legit and common, just never knew how much opiates were effecting me. I was the one with something wrong with me, because I didn't feel those things. It will get easier to deal with, therapy helps me with that. Again, congrats on feeling again.

takingmylifeback2014 · Answer

Yes, I believe you are starting to feel!!! And it is amazing. I just started to feel the past few days so on day 11 and feeling you are doing better then me!! You are doing awesome. Just remeber we have all numbed our feelings for so long and when we start to feel again, we may not even recongize what feelings are, but they are awesome. Very happy and proud for you!

ineedhelp29 · Answer

Hey Rosy....yea u right never knew i had these types of feelings...could never show hurt r weakness where i grew up and this is truly all new to me...truly confused

ineedhelp29 · Answer

Ty laine....its just crazy everything was ok untill i saw the pic of the guy in handcuffs smileing.....that really is bothering me and it confuseing.......
Im sorry for makeing you worry was kinda crazy i wanted to post and got lost in my thoughts i guess....
And yup we r still clean buddies :) i wanted to use yesterday bad and talked myseld out of it and just ate alot of candy but it worked...
How are you doin your on day 12 right??? I hope all is well....

ROSYouralright · Answer

Wow!!! Great answer Laine :D

Sorry you are feeling so down.. I know  exactly where you are coming from.. As Sara says "welcome to feeling again.." you will be surprised at all the things you find yourself caring about now.

Lainemoss · Answer

Before you were numb to so much, especially your empathy for others. While this may be hard to deal with, as it is a very sad situation, use the feelings you have now to grow even more. I was thinking about you yesterday. I didn't see a post from you and got worried. You are my "clean buddy!" I'm very sorry that you had to witness that yesterday. People do terrible things for drugs. Another reason to stay clean! Keep in touch my friend.