finally taking the step(i used to post on this forum but havent in many months so im new again lol)

[youngdude421]

Hi everybody, I am a 22 year old guy and i am addicted to oppiates, it started with viks and perks with the occassional oxy but i than graduated to heroin. I have never touched a needle but I love to snort it Ive been doin dope for about 4 months b4 i just popped painkillers. I normaly do 2-3 bags a day I pop viks 10's and perks at work cuz i dont like blowin bags at work the pills just get me thru the work day. Any way I finally decided to get help and go to rehab i have a love affair with dgs but i refuse to watch myself liv a death sentence. It got to the point where I puke if i dont have some form of oppiate in me this is what made me finally decide to go to inpatient help. When i was just popppin pillls i didnt care and was just gonna party and if i died young **** it. But that feeling is gone and I want a better life. I am a functioning addict, I go to work and get decent grades in college, but I cant hold a paycheck or get financially ahead cuz i have to support my habbit. I'd love to b able to save $. This will be my third time goin to rehab hopefully its the charm. I told my mother and my brother and they are both very supportive. I have yet to tell my father b/c im scared of his reaction but when i get the courage i will man up and tell him. I have a big concern tho.... I have been diagnosed by more than one doctor with panic disorder, agoraphobia, depression, and severe social anxiety. Because of this I am prescribed Lexapro, Klonopin, and seroquel at bedtime. Klonopin is a controlled substance and some facilities i believe would want to take me off of it. But i truly ned this medication in order to cope with my anxiety and panic attacks. B4 i was on it i couldn't go 2 class or work or even think rationally or have a relationships. I was just wrapped in panic and depresion and wouldnt leave my house since ive been on klonopin i feel like i have a shot at dealing with my anxiety and makes my anxiety more tolerable basicaly lets me live life. I dont get high off it it just helps me. So i want to find a place that will allow me to remain on my meds but get off the heroin/opiates. HOpefully i am able to do this. If not i dont think i will go, i dont know. regardles I am glad i finally decided to get help, Im sick of priding myself oon how many conex i have and how i can get any drug on the buffet. I want to able to spend money on a PS3 or a Wii or buy new clothes myself instead of just just giving all my loot to dealers. I am done with this life of crime and addiction its time to live like a responsible adult and stop actin like im still a teenager. I now am staying in rural PA but after i get out of rehab I have the ability to move to the suburbs of NYC where i dont know ne body and can have a fresh start without seeing old friends and dealers around town who i shouldnt b around I think this gives me a good shot at staying sober. Ne way i cant type ne more lol so i guess the search for the right rehab begins thaank you all for listening and for ne one on the fence about going to treatment and telling ur parents or loved ones the sooner you get off the fence and make the right choicce the better because us addicts never know when that night will come when we dont wake up the next morning and it is 2 late

again thanx 4 listening,   youngdude421

[youngdude421]

do my rehab on my own? i dont follow

[mimi1313]

It sounds like you really want this and I'm so glad. You can definitely do it. I would definitely tell them your concerns about the Klonopin. I know my doctor always asks me what works best for me when I see her. You should have some say in that.

Its good to have your mom and brother suporting you. If they are supportive I'm sure your dad will be too. Good luck.

[rue10]

Hi.  I am so touched by your desire to be rid of this awful addiction at such a young age.  I pray that you find a rehab that will allow you to take the maintenance meds that you need.  You need to be foreceful or get a dr. to vouch that you need this to function normally.  I would not give up on getting them to let you have this medication in rehab.

I'm praying for you...you have your whole life ahead of you to experience.  Hopefully you can do it without drugs.

God Bless

[broknbck]

Deciding to quit on your own is great. Much better than being thrown into it. I was in jail and there was someone in there who had a heroin addiction. What a horrible place to go through that . Best to get out of this before the law catches up with you. That will be a whole nother nightmare.

Your emotional problems may go away after you quit. You know the opiates do a number on our brains. I had an anti-depressant to take while i was going through the quitting and then i got off it. It did really help alot and i have never been depressed before i started using. and am fine now.

maybe you will have to do your rehab on your own?

[wannabefree330]

Welcome back, I hope this time is different for you.  Sounds like your in the right frame of mind to beat it this time.  Don't worry about the what if's right now.  The first step is reaching out and you are doing that.  If you truly need the klonopin, I don't think they'll take it from you.  It's a med you can't CT anyway so just let them know your concern and go from there.  Like sadinmichigan said, get into some counseling for your anxiety issues.  There are many who fight this battle and there's lots of help for it.  Just take one step at a time, and don't look back.  Keep posting too, it helps all of us.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Welcome back! You came on here when I first started here. It is good to see you.

[sadinmichigan]

I am glad that you have finally made this decision for yourself..wanting to do it is the key to getting off the drugs..There is a better life ahead for you off drugs but if you remain on them..well you see where it has already taken you and it will keep taking you down..so congrats on the decision you made.
I am sure you will find a rehab that will not try and make you get off klonopin..are you abusing it?
I think getting yourself away from the temptations is a good decision but just know that the temptation is everywhere and it's easy to find..I suggest after you do rehab to get yourself some counceling or aftercare..meetings of some kind, I also deal with anxiety so I know how that goes and have a mild case of agoraphobia..I am taking steps now to try and break out of that. I am sick of making myself a prisoner in my own house..
Good luck to you and please keep us posted..