GUILT HRTOIN CRAVING & WEAKNESS

[stilltrying1965]

A feel real bad oday and so weak a still cant stop thinkin about heroin. Is there something wrong with me a was strong determind A had courage willpower all the tools to bat the demon called heroin.But for some reason a feel week cant get thatdrug out my head a dont know whats happening to me yesterday and today.Its my wife who is strong for me know surely that cant be right.A keep thinking 1 bag f smack buta know wre 1 bag led me to the last tim 12345 bags and back to square 1. How can my wife be the strong one now im scared to leave th house incase i ruin all i have fought for my wife and family i just dont understand what is happening to me these lat two days .we havve been clean for 160 days why is it so hard now all a can hink of is smack can anyone explain this to me James

[10356]

You will get through today James !! You did not use and you should be Proud.. we all suffer with cravings and you sure are showing what you are made of posting and asking for support.. it shows how strong your desire is to fight Heroin.. I'm so Proud of you !! You will get through today !! Look into paws james as giz says it may be helpful to realize you do not suffer alone that is actually a symptom of addiction "cravings" You have no reason to feel guilty for you did nothing wrong you have done it all right You are here posting and gaining strength.. Congrats on 160 days this is so wonderful and my heart is full of Joy for you both.. Fight James Fight hard for this is just a bump and one you will get over and soon we will be doing the hyland fling and cracking our hips to the sound of music !! gary is sitting right next to me and is offering strength we both care as we all do on the forum.. with love letakos

[dominosarah]

Now that is the spirit James.....Keep us posted on how you are feeling.  Until then you fight like he!!.........sara

[stilltrying1965]

Thanks Gizzy Sarah Lynne a will use every tool i have got to get through today.i will dig deep for strengh,determination and lots of willpower and im going to keep real busy today thanks guys for me today this is very hard indeed

[dominosarah]

James.......REPEAT AFTER ME...I am STRONGER than this craving.  I CAN and WILL get thru this.  We are all here for you now COME OUT FIGHTING........sara

[lynniev]

Hi James,
It is work to stay clean!  I stick to my program 1 day at a time!  I know that sounds trite but in keeping with a program(I don't know if you and your wife have after-care), NA meetings and this group of great people on this screen.  It is good you are posting, it helps immensely.  It gets us through those terrible days of getting close to "falling back into the hole" we have worked so hard on getting out of.   It is amazing to me that after 18 1/2 years of sobriety, alcohol and pain killers, there isn't a day that goes by that at some point it pops into my mind.  Keep away from people, places and things, (as they say in the meetings and I have followed that piece of advise every day and it has worked so far.  It sounds like you came a long way, 160 days is fabulous!!!!  I know that sticking with my "program", meetings and talking to friends that have the same disease as I do really helps.  One day at a time, one min, one second if need be.I'll pray for you and your wife but I would definately consider after care.  It helps and so does this site.  Good folks on here!  Lynne

[dominosarah]

James.....You are having cravings right now and they can be very hard emotionally.  Make a list of all the things you are grateful for and all the good things that have come from you being clean.  Keep your mind busy.  Turn on the music, talk with Kim just stay busy.  Dont keep beating yourself up over this.  The more you do the longer you will crave.  Be glad that Kim is there for you.  This doesnt mean you are weak.  You will get thru this.  You are stronger than you think.  Keep fighting hard James.  You can do this......sara

[gizzy32]

You are feeling guilty right now James? When i craved last week i felt so guilty about it, but deep down we should not feel guilty unless we use. Craving is NORMAL for any addict from time to time whether we have all the tools or not, it'a part of the disease. Right now don't think for one sec you are weak, you are reaching out for help and that takes strength.

I try to change my thoughts and get out of that frame of mind, anything I can do to fight through, knowing it will pass. Stay on here, keep talking. You are in control, not the herion. Like I said in your other post, this could also be a big bout of PAWS too. Hang in there buddy, we are here from you. Remember you don't want giz to kick your ***, haha. Congrats on those 160 days clean, we are proud of you. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!