day 5 nervous for the future

[kme17]

I am feeling pretty good today. I didnt think i would feel this optimistic.. i actually feel like i can head to work tomorrow and just do it. I sure know the cravings will set in soon. I worry i wont handle it very well. But i will be here and hope you can all talk me out of it like you did yesterday. And if i dont post. I have turn to the other side and maybe i will shamfully crawl back for round 500.  Need toms of prayers for this week ahead! Thanks again everyone!

[thewaz]

Being at day 5 is HUGE.  Congratulations.  Take me back to day zero and tell me why you decided to do this?  What is your commitment to yourself and those you love?  I did it.  I'm betting you are too.  Five is a huge turning point.  Congratulations!

[kme17]

Thanks! I do feel proud i make it to 5. I know this is the stepping stones to having months under my belt. I have alllooong way to go. I look at my daughter now and realize i am going this for us. I want her to know about how her mommy used to have an active addiction and her pop pop. But we both got our selves help. And make her realize what fire she might be playing with when she decides to " experiment". I learned before when in to the military i was not experimenting ne more. I thought that would be my way out. Lil did i know i would be at the point of losing tooo much if i kept going. I decided stop now before i did lose my job, husband, all my money, my lil girl. I m feeling proud today.

[Elmijack15]

Congrats on day 5! Huge accomplishment and very proud of you. Only concentrate on today, worrying about the future will only bring on anxiety and no one knows what the future holds for us so enjoy today, it's one day at a time!  Hugs to you!

[kme17]

Your absolutly right. Today is all i should be concerned with

[kme17]

Thanks you  to both of you!

[DeliriousNomad68]

Kme, I am on Day 10 and feel better than I can remember. You are VERY close to turning the corner. STAY STRONG. I really had the moment on day 7, when some pills were right in front of me, yet I did not want them. I just see an entrance to a road to hell and oblivion with the thought of taking another opiate. Day 6 at work may be a bit tough , but you CAN do this!! Day 7 is so CLOSE!! Endure!!

[ImDONENoMore]

And keep your expecatations for tomorrow kind of low - I know that might sound strange but if you start out thinking it will be a great day and it's not that feeling of disappointment can trip you up.  Remember ONE day at a time is the best way to get through this.  It's so much easier to think how you're not going to use today as opposed to forever.  Totally doable when you think about it like that.

Good luck to you!

[thewaz]

Well there ya go.  Sounds like a 110% commitment to me.  I'm a firm believer of living in the moment when we're going through this.  Don't look too far ahead.  Not even until tomorrow.  It will be here soon enough.  Be proud of you right here and now.  And then tomorrow?  We'll hold you strong again.

[Elmijack15]

Did you get sone sleep last night?

[kme17]

I am confident you all know what your talking about. I am not thinking about tomorrow. Today is today and i am thinking n feeling in today. Dont know what tomorrow will bring. I did get some sleep. Its was few hrs then toss for a bit then a few more hours. I have a 11 month old, she usually sleeps thru the night. But the last 2 days she has been wide awake at 1 an 2 am. Not wanting to go back to sleep. She slept in our bed lastnight. My husband tried 2 diff times to put her in her crib and she wasnt having it. I been locked upstairs and she knows it. I hear her yelling mom mom moommm .. it breaks my heart but i knew i had no choice. I wonder if she feels something. Or just wants to be near me n night is the only time she knows how. I have been told my a few diff docs she is very advance for 11 months so i wouldnt be suprised if she made this a plan before she went to bed . Haha thanks yor everyone! And congrats to you all  too !!

[Elmijack15]

Glad you got some sleep, and the baby will be fine, hang in there you're doing awesome!! Hugs

[kme17]

Thanks

[kme17]

God i feel so great today. I want to scream it from the roof! I danced w my lil girk today. I made her laugh again. She looked in my eye w a look of oh hey mommy where have u been.  It feels so good . I could cry right now. I m on a natural high n i dont want to come down. I want to live in day 5 forever!

[Dixiechick72]

Hey there!!! Congrats day 5!!! That was my best day after a few days of hell.  But u made it this far. So proud of u. Yes u should be happy. Remember and love this moment ok!!!  Good job

[kme17]

Thanks dixi. I am going to live this up cause i know at ne time it will all turn around on me

[hampstead]

I am on day 2 tapering off we are very lucky to have this site for help to understand withdralls

[Sonrissa]

Well, you made it through the heck of yesterday! We. both did! Glad you are better! Fight hard! I am with you every step! We are together and together we can do this, Right?

[fent_ct_or_die]

nice!! i am on day 11 of cold turkey 75mcg fentanyl patch, oxy, hydro, methadone (when my friend had a sip to spare) and the combo was OMG horrible. last night was the first night i slept since taking that last EVIL patch off... my wife and 2 year old little girl watched me on the couch powerless to help me. i so understand!!! taper wouldt have worked unless i went to the methadone clinic that is 50 miles away and we cant afford it, cause if i got opiates i DO them... my story is day 1 2 and 3 where horrific convulsing and constant shaking, vomiting, severe anxiety that every second i thought was going to kill me. it didnt but my heart rate was always SO high i was scared for my life. ranged allways over 100 up to 160 and i didnt leave the couch!! whew it can be so so hard. stay strong sweety!!!! message me... ive been through living HELL of this for what seemed like forever and i stayed strong!! you can DO THIS!!

[kme17]

Sonrissa yep we got thru day 4 together chickie. I hope your doing alot better today!

[kme17]

@ fent.. you really went thru it. I am shocked u made it! Congrats! You are my hero! Fent patches are nasty to get off of. How are you feeling on day 11? I am so nervous for my future. I finally came to my realization i connot keep them under control. Its either all, all the time or nothing at all

[fent_ct_or_die]

Thank you!!!! YES my retarded *** did it!!! day 11 i got some sleep last might for the FIRST time!!!!!! i woke up and felt SOOOO much better. less anxiety, RLS and shaking. heart rate is still over 100 but hell im getting all that cardio i missed out on since by back went out. lol.  i hear that you get small amounts of relief from fent withdrawal then BAM it somes back to knock you right back down again. but while im here feeling ok im going to enjoy it!!! its a LONG road for me, fent takes forEVER to kick so.... im sadled up for the ride. i was afraid if i did try to taper i would fail cause if i do have pain medicine i take it all right away... so i wanted to feel the worst withdrawal the first time so i learn my lesson!!! o boy i regreated that almost 2 hours after that patch came off... cause it was like a light flipped on and i was dying!!! good luck. message me if you need ANYTHING, you got this s***t. opiate withdrawal can be a MOTHER but a human body is even more impressive that it can live to tell about it. its as close to god i have ever been. i PRAYED for death!!! my heart to explode.. SOMETHING!!!  but it didnt... i had to feel every min :( my poor wife... if she takes a half a norco shes puking in the bathroom. she couldnt do anything... i could only imagine how awful that was... whew. i dont know what you were taking but it couldnt be worse than fent.. you'll be fine! :) enjoy life! god speed!

[kme17]

Yep. I done the fent patches. But i was an idiot and cut it open to eat the gel .. u my man have got this ****! I know u been to hell. Stay strong. If i am pulling for one more then the other it YOU! Be proud . My husband can control his pill intake. Only on fri. Hes a light weight too.. i was taking by the end like 30 10s .. on a good money day. I would take 10 to 15 at once. Unfort. The moeny and debt started showing n it was time. Amoung so many other reasons. Keep in touch . You are an inspiration

[fent_ct_or_die]

i cut mine open too!! all the friggin time!! i feel you... its a mess

[kme17]

Hang in there. Its now or never