good morning loves

[jayeye]

just popping in sorry havent been posting much been kinda brain dead.  Wanted to let everybody know im doing as could as i could be considering.   I expected a lot woooooorst......maybe the the one week sub detox is best......im at work today  feel like im made of lead but thats ok.....im actually sleeping about 5 hours a night....i am taking a sleep aid i was never really much of a sleeper and i am actually sleeping better now than i ever was weird right???

stomach dosent feel great occasional hot and cold......totally bearable i hope this isnt cuz the subs are still in me took the last one friday morning....the thing thats scaring me most is my mind isnt mental like all the other times.

[Amandag78]

Hi, hoping you will be back to yourself very soon : )

[jayeye]

do  it with out the courts knowledge I need to get my ducks in order so I can't get my life back.....I'm planning on moving and I need this over with.....I'm not trying to sound like I have all the answers cuz  I know I don't....but I know I need to get out of the system asap its a big stresser in my life and the case would have drag on twice as long......its alrdy been going on since sept

[jayeye]

I agree with you on that.....but I couldn't have that brought up in my case.....I have a lot better chance of beating it now......I've learned a long time ago they want to keep you in the system as long as they can.....I just don't need the legal stress and head acts right now......I rather

[dominosarah]

And the substance abuse program is what could of really helped you.  Our secrets keep us sick jayeye~

[jayeye]

they have to but you in some sort of program to monitor you once you are in TASC

[jayeye]

In NY when you get arrested on your first day of court the DA request that you are sent to TASC (works with men and women whose alcohol and drug problems have contributed to their involvement in nonviolent criminal behavior. Judges, attorneys, and probation officers refer potential clients to TASC. As a liaison between the courts and community-based treatment, TASC services slow the cycle of addiction, crime, and incarceration and reduce the pressure that large numbers of offenders place on public systems.)  for evaluation.  

so basically i go there they ask me a bunch of questions about my arrest and my history and of course i lied cuz i dont want to be in the legal  system any longer than i have to....since i had a script for the kpins i some how convinced the TASC officer i didnt have a problem wiht drugs.....there i was a full blown junkie sitting right in front of him and he had no idea.

so they told me im not a candidate for the substance abuse program but i am for the mental health

[jugglin]

Yep, focus on the present...one day, sometimes one hour at a time. Many times the fear is worse than the actual WD's...in your case you have had bad mentals in prior detox.  Don't worry about if it is going to get worst, focus on the positive, distract your brain by keeping busy. Keep fighting!

[dominosarah]

Why is therapy court ordered?

[dirtydirk]

glad your mind isnt racing  dont concentrate on the bad  just be glad your doing good ........if done well the shortterm sub so called detox is a great thing and many ppl do well .......keep up the hard work!!!!

[jayeye]

thanks vicki as i explained earlier that i do see a therapist now but cant tell him about my drug problems because its court ordered and will look bad for my case.  (driving with a suspended license and having my prescription kolonpin not in its bottle both misdemeanors)

Ive been looking in my area for a therapist i can see that isnt part of my case and does have experience with addiction.

i know i need after care this time....i think if i just fight it one day at a time i will be a lot better off.......im a worrier by nature and always focus on tomorrow while missing the day im living.

[vicki595]

Good Morning John-(it's still morning here...) you sound good and like the detox is more mild this time...but don't let that hinder you or make you think you've got this kicked!  I'm sure you don't...

I'm hoping you get some support...maybe a therapist, counselor, AA, etc...It's really important.   You're doing great so far; I'm proud of you!

[dominosarah]

Having a stable mental dept is a good thing right now!!

[jayeye]

what i mean is im not having all those racing thoughts.....all those shoulda woulda couldas.........im like really stable in the mental department as of now......last time i went cold turkey i remember that lasted at least two weeks b4 i was somewhat back to normal

[dominosarah]

What do you mean your mind isnt mental like all the other times?