Encouragment for Those Newly Clean

[PorVida]

So yesterday I got a phone call from an old friend who is using.  He and I don't talk much, but always knew about each others use of pills.  He called yesterday in desperate need because he was out of pills.  He asked if I had any or any sources.  He never had really done this before.  I told him I was clean and that I couldn't help.  I told him when it was the right time he could get here to.  He congratulated me and that was that.

Well about 9pm last night he sent me a text saying he was sitting in a parking lot waiting for his source that was supposed to be there 3 hours before.  He simply said "Don't you miss this ********"  LOL  Good job on being clean man.  

It really hit home again.  Just a couple weeks from chasing pills and I forgot those feelings of despair waiting for some to come through when your out, lying to your family why you are leaving for hours on end, risking getting arrested if god forbid a cop pulled up, the list goes on and on.  

I realized, I am one pill away from all that madness again.  Some anxiety, some depression, some lethargy is not worth going back to that chaos.

[conhall]

every day that you are clean Is a better day than any day you used.:)
I know exactly what you are talking about I dont miss it Counting pills worrying shuffling money around feeling guilty because I was always broke but I had pills and barely was making my bills having to buy my kids clothes that I could afford because I spent all my money on those Lil Frkin pills Ugh! Life is so much better now. I dont worry I Live I enjoy . I have more money I feel healthier. My Kids are happier They have me back and we are so close now :)
Just remember you can live a better life w/o all that chaos and Guilt!

[ricart70]

You have hit on something very important.We cannot rely on the memory of despair to keep us clean.We will forget all of that sooner or later.We are hardwired to forget these things.  Great job on your clean time!

[SunnysideUP27]

We forget all the bad times that drugs bring us.  Many ppl just remember the initial high which faded after the first few months of using anyway. Great story.  Waiting was the worst. I used to feel like such a druggie doing that.  Oh wait I was.     Congrats on ur clean time.  Keep your guard up

[dominosarah]

You really need to lose this persons number.  There will come a time when you realize what sly cunning and baffling is.  Always keep your guard up!

[Norco1947]

We must remind ourself why we chose not to take pills every day . Thinking back to the pill no life days , No way do i want that again .
I like wakeing up feeling good , Not wakeing up sick every day .
I like doing things and spending my time ( and money) with family & friend . Not spending every second chaseing pills and liveing an addicted no life.  
At 4 months pill free this post is a great reminder for me.
Life is good again , I feel pretty good , ... Don't need no F**ken pills..  Ron

[luvabugga]

Great realization of how far you've come!  

[YesLife4Me]

Thanks for the fabulous reminder of where we were.   I can't tell you how many hours I waited for my connection, constantly checking the clock, worrying, lying about where I was, etc.   The desperation truly drives us to do crazy & insane things!!   Funny how 'amnesia' kicks in after we get clean and we forget how awful wd was, the pill counting, obsessing about getting more, worrying about whether your connection will return your call and come through, having enough money, etc.   What madness!  

You are doing great...stop beating yourself up now.   Relapse just means you had something more to learn about your recovery..

[AMom1st]

WOW!  Thank you for sharing that story.  Reading things like this only encourage me to move forward with getting clean and staying that way.  I do NOT want to find myself where your friend is.  Better to get out now!